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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The close of one chapter...the start of another



I've been thinking long and hard how to migrate Babywaves to the new Baby Wishes blog. And I think the easiest way is to let Baby Waves remain and to use Baby Wishes for all my new entries.

What is Baby Wishes all about - well you'll just have to log in and find out! Its a little project among friends and I hope you'll support us. In nutshell, Baby Wishes is every parent and baby's dream come true. You log in, create a wishlist of items you would like to receive, and send the wishlist to all your friends, who will know exactly what you want and nobody is left guessing, circling the shops like vultures, only to return with a useless or duplicated gift. Of course, you are welcome to buy from us even if you are not an expectant parent. Do spread the word and please give us your feedback, we love to hear from you.

This project has been really fun and taught us many things. We hope you like our site as well as Our Blog!

Please visit http://www.babywishes.com.sg/Blog/ from now onwards to read about Marc's adventures...

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Project in the Pipelines

Sorry everyone! I haven't forgotten to update my blog, but my little project has been keeping me busy. I will update everyone shortly as my blog will be moving to a new website. Stay tuned for more details!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

I've turned 30!



Here's a pic of Marc walking around with my birthday balloon....

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Yes He's Turned ONE!





The creature has turned ONE! We've survived our first year as parents!! Thank God for his mercies and protection!

Marc gets a weekly bruise on the forehead now - either from a fall or knocking his head on the floor from crawling too fast, etc. He's able to walk 5-6 steps before falling, then getting up again and continuing. Sometimes when he's in the mood for speed, he prefers to crawl. We brought him to RP where the Husband teaches and the campus is amazingly huge (one incentive to move to Woodlands). There are nice water features and lots and lots of space! So Marc crawled to his heart's content on the carpeted floor. And because it was carpeted, we didn't have to clean his drool! hahah!!

He's a determined boy. When he wants to go somewhere or touch something - he doesn't give up. He insisted on touching a rubbish bin yesterday and we removed him at least 10 times - he just went right back to it. Same thing today at our neighbours house. He insisted on crawling to the laundry area - and I don't let him to there because of all the washing detergents and other poisons. But he kept crawling back. I foresee discipline can be a problem! He's not afraid of me at all - probably cos I miss him so much that I give in to him most times. The only effective disciplinarian so far is the Husband. Well, grandpa says at least he's afraid of someone.

Talking about the Husband - he LOVES daddy! He looks at daddy's picture on the computer screen and goes "deh deh deh deh"....when he gets in the car he goes "deh deh deh deh" - probably cos he knows Daddy does the driving. And he still gets me mixed up with food..."mum mum" = food, "ma ma" = mummy. I hear mum mum everyday...I think I haven't heard ma ma in a week.

And he's DEFINITELY a Type A personality. He's forever on the go, either exploring something, or going somewhere - he HATES to sleep. Putting him to bed is what he hates most everyday and he literally needs to be forced...he can crawl himself to exhaustion and he won't stop. And he doesn't "space out" - we get comments that he's very proud and serious - he looks that way when people talk to him cos he's just not interested...so he looks away at you or ignores you, but he doesn't actually stare into space and think. I've seen many babies space out whilst riding in their strollers, or in their parents arms. I don't think I've seen him space out once this entire year - even when he was a newborn! This boy is gonna be a workaholic.

His favourite game is Peekaboo. Any variation thrills him. I hide under a blanket and he pulls it off and when I shout peekaboo - he screams in excitement. Today we just played Peekaboo with the laundry basket. He's getting louder each day - either humming strange tunes, or walking around the house going "ah ah ah ah"...and lately going "ga ga ga ga"....he can make a funny face by squinting his eyes together, although he rarely does so on cue. I realise that he hates to be forced to do anything and doesn't "perform" like other kids. Maybe he's not at that stage yet.

I'm still waiting for him to learn to clap. I'll definitely upload a post when he does.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Accident Prone





With increasing mobility comes an exponential increase in accidents! The most drama one to date is Daddy and the Fan.

I came home from work one day to find The Husband's knee and the Fan both bandaged. Apparently Marc crawled so quickly that he dragged the fan's cord along with him. The fan tipped over and just like slow motion, The Husband saw it topple. He ran as fast as he could to catch it and got it just as it was about to land, which meant that his knee bashed the edge of the fan at an angle. As a result both the Fan and The Husband got injured. And the kid sat on the floor oblivious to the unfolding drama around him.

Of late Marc has also been knocking into lots of things. He gets a weekly bruise on the head. He recently discovered that he can make noises by knocking his head on the wall, so he does taps his forehead lightly repeatedly to hear the "tok" sound!

Whilst this stage of his development is EXTREMELY tiring, its also a time of great adventure and learning. I've recently read a book about teaching babies to read. The amazing this is that apparently babies can learn to read by recognising words. The problem is we print words too small so their immature visual pathways cannot distinguish the words. The reading program involves flashing different words for a few seconds each day. We started on it a couple of weeks back but its so hard to continue when I'm not around all the time. He loves flash cards though, he can sit through repeated rounds of alphabets and screams for more. He will only sit through it if we flash through the cards fast enough - otherwise he gets bored and crawls away.

He can take a few unassisted steps. He used to like us to hold his hands and help him to walk but he pushes all helping hands away now. He can wave properly, but I'm still waiting for him to learn to clap. His latest tricks include shaking his head vigorously from side to side when he doesn't want something. He can raise both hands in the air which we call "Hallelujah". And he loves to play with saliva...

And I realise now that all the things we thought were odd in Marc are perfectly normal! His new buddy, Ollie does the same thing so I'm assured that either both of them are very odd, or perfectly normal. I'd like to think its the latter.

We visited an indoor playground today called Fidgets. The place is full of expat mummies with their kids, and most were much older than Ollie and Marc, so we had to supervise them quite a fair bit. What I like about the place is that its entirely padded - so even if they fall its cushioned. It was pretty crowded for a weekday afternoon. But they have a nice cafe area and everything is very child friendly. I think its ideal if your child knows how to walk steadily, because all the adults were totally tired out at the end of the visit from having to block falls and prevent accidents!

Discipline is also a difficult issue to tackle. Every parent has their own methods and Marc's is not easy to handle. So far, the only person he listens to is Daddy. When he's naughty and I attempt to discipline him, I get no reaction whatsoever. Its hard for me to discipline him, because I feel I miss out so much of time with him already, so on weekends I usually let him have his way. I only put my foot down when he's doing something downright dangerous or being very rebellious. I still give him the benefit of the doubt most times and assume that he's cranky and tired, hence the bad behaviour...I just hope he doesn't grow up to be an indulgent brat!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

He's turning 11 months!




Apologies to all for the late post...my little website project is keeping me busy. :) Will update you all soon enough!

Marc has a new buddy called Ollie who lives just at the block next door. Ollie is a month older than Marc and very alike. They both love to eat cardboard and stress balls, crawl all over the place (Ollie recently learnt to walk) and drool like crazy. We are hoping to organise another playdate among neighbours soon. We have about 5 babies around the same age - which can spell disaster!

He recently came down with a fever recently - we are not sure if it was teething or a stomach bug but thankfully he recovered within the day. His first bout of fever since birth, thank God for his good health thus far.

Trying to figure out how to discipline and train Marc is getting to be a challenge. He throws everything onto the floor when he's unhappy, yells when food is not fed fast enough, screams when he wants to get out of his seat, etc. When it comes to danger, we make it clear to him that its a "no" and remove him straightaway. Other times, its hard to figure out if he's frustrated because no one understands what he wants or if he's just throwing a tantrum. He's learnt to shake his head recently to say no or raise an objection.

Marc has only recently learnt to wave bye bye - a very feeble bye bye at that! He still can't clap and I'm starting to think he's going to be one of those non-compliant-refuse-to-follow-the-crowd kind of person! But Ollie's mum assures me that Ollie only clapped and waved at 11 months, so perhaps its a boy thing!

I've planned Marc's 1 year old party, which will be a buffet lunch among family at Carousel - they have a wide spread and great food for a reasonable price. I love the seafood! I've also taken leave for a couple of days to spend time with Marc...probably take him out which he loves!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Teeth = Trouble





Its been AGES since I've written a decent post. Been busy with lots of stuff. Am working on a little online business with 2 other friends - stay tuned for our launch! Plus the kid is keeping me really busy and very tired. He's at the crawling-trying-to-walk stage and he's really a walking disaster. He will chase us from room to room, with his knees squeaking as it rubs against the tiled floor and a trail of drool all over the place. Which is super dangerous by the way as our tiles are smooth so they become a slippery slidy hazard.

Just on Saturday, I gave him a board book to keep him entertained in the car. Which he decided to gnaw on. The next thing I knew, I found a portion of the book missing, only to realise to my horror that it was in his mouth! Conversation went like this:

Me: Dear! Marc has eaten his book! There's cardboard in his mouth!
Hubby: Just use your finger to dig it out!
Me: But my hands are not clean!
Hubby: It doesn't matter, just stick it in!
Me: *hesitation...dig dig*
Marc: *screams at mummy*
Me: I can't find it! *dig dig*
Marc: *screams louder*
Hubby: Have you found it?
Me: No! I can't find it!
Marc: *screams at top of lungs* *opens mouth wide cos of screaming* *cardboard peeks out from one of his 6 teeth*
Me: I found it! *already half deaf from being screamed at*

It was quite an experience I must say...so for the record, Marc has officially eaten:
1) Sponge from a stressball
2) Cardboard
Not bad for a 10 month old.

It was our helper's day off yesterday and the Husband and I were totally exhausted. Marc just refused to sleep, and he's been doing that every Sunday for the past few weeks. He's just so excited that Mummy and Daddy are around all day so he goes hyper. Which means we are very...NOT hyper. After juggling Marc, plus dinner, and HIS dinner (which has to be specially cooked cos he can't eat our food yet), I slept at 9.30pm and still woke up tired! We decided that this kid needs to go to childcare, or some form of play school that gets him to expend his energy. We're thinking of sending him when he turns 2...but he's only 10 months old and every weekend I feel like I'm doing night feeds all over again!

Marc has a new friend called Oliver who lives at the next block. I've been going to the playground with Marc every morning before I go to work and I bumped into a trendy mummy with her son that looked around Marc's age, so we chatted and made friends. Oli was born on National Day, so he's a month older than Marc. A sweet boy that loves to shout at birds and in many ways very alike with Marc. Its nice to have a fellow mummy with a baby boy Marc's age in the neighbourhood.

I have a business trip coming up in August which I'm not looking forward to. I knew the day would come sooner or later. I'm thankful for understanding bosses that have allowed me to avoid trips thus far and only scheduled them when absolutely necessary. My longest time away from Marc was Bangkok, which was a 3 day 2 night stint. This is for the same period of time...it felt like forever last time but I will be kept busy with meetings so I'm sure it will whizz by.

Marc has been sleeping through the night for about a month now. He occasionally wakes up screaming at 10 or 11pm, but he usually doesn't require intervention to fall asleep, except when he's overtired. We still feed him at midnight and give him a diaper change so that he's nice and dry. But its much better than before. I attribute it partly to the sleep training and partly to the passing of another phase.

As for the pictures in today's post - I got bored and decided to dress him up for photos again. The last pic was taken on Saturday - Marc ate so much his jeans had to be loosed and unzipped. Not even a year old and already with a pot belly and acting like a redneck! Sigh...I wonder what will become of him!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Marc playing






Decided to upload some pictures of Marc playing...he loves climbing up and down and crawling all over the place, then standing for as long as he can before tumbling down again.

And I've started calling him Mr Moo. He loves every dairy product I've fed him, milk, yoghurt and recently cheddar cheese. He wiped his entire tray clean of the shredded cheese today! We need to move back to Australia or somewhere with cheap dairy products. Or maybe we should live on a farm...

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Dear Marc..From Mummy





Dear Marc,

Its been some time since Mummy has written you a letter. The thought of leaving you jogged me again when I saw images of the recent Sichuan earthquake. Many perished and I was moved by stories of babies and children losing their lives, and even more moved by stories of parents and mummies who shielded their babies from danger.

You waved bye bye for the first time last Sunday! Mummy and Daddy were so excited...and Mummy was even more excited that she was around to witness it! By my calculations, I spend a good 10.5 hours away from you during working days. Which means Mummy misses out a whole lot on your life...2 days on the weekends barely makes up for it. I don't suppose you'll really understand how Mummy feels for a long while yet (and even when you become a Daddy, I can assure you Daddies don't feel the same way Mummies do)...so every milestone that is shared is so precious.

Mummy enjoyed being around you 24 hours a day during Church camp. You are full of laughter and you are so active! I'll place my bets on you being a good rugby player next time. Why?
1) You're tall for your age (90th percentile) and fairly heavy (70th percentile)
2) You are SO ROUGH. Knocking your head on walls, headboards and tables are part and parcel of your daily routine. It doesn't seem to bother you much.
3) You have a high pain threshold (see point 2 above)
4) You are so persistent. When you want something, you will not give up till you get it.
5) You have a really strong grip. Even Daddy struggles to pull you free from whatever you are grabbing onto.
I think rugby will suit you just fine. But we should really get some health insurance for your many falls and broken bones.

And you just love MEAT. I know fish doesn't suit your palette, but fish is good for your brains! Daddy is worried that you will become like Mummy - a real foodie who has a preference for good food. :) What can I say, you inherited my good genes! Your all time favourite food is yoghurt. Second comes beef. Third is chicken. Mummy is trying to expand your exposure to different kinds of food. You will try kiwi fruit next.

Based on Mummy's expert assessment (ahem ahem) you are ahead in terms of gross motor skills. You're already cruising and standing quite steadily for a few seconds without support. But the only word you can say is "Ma Ma Ma Ma Mum Mum Mum Mum". At first we thought you were referring to food. But you say that even after food! Then I thought you were referring to me. But you're not always placated after I respond to your calls. So my guess is you're a bit behind on the vocab department. But you'll catch up. :) You've recently learnt how to imitate Mummy's "brr brr" sound, a sound I make with my lips to entertain you when you're bored. The only thing is you end up spitting on everyone and everything in the vicinity...which can be a bit gross...

Mummy is thrilled that you love to spend time with her when she's around. Its amazing how you even know that I'm your Mummy, from the little that you see of me each day. Mummy's prayer for you is to be close to both Mummy and Daddy, to always share with us what's on your mind. We'll try our best to never be judgemental and to allow you to learn and make your own decisions. Most of all, Mummy's prayer is for you to trust in Jesus and love Him! Parents, friends, riches and fame will all fade away - but God is your constant friend and guide.

Till the next letter - love, hugs and kisses, from your biggest fan...Mummy!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

9 months already!



I can't believe how quickly time flies. Marc is 9 months old today! Just not too long ago I was sitting at the same laptop, with a considerable distance away from the laptop cos my belly was in the way. Now my boisterous 9-month old sleeps peacefully in his cot...

Talking about sleep, Marc's not been sleeping very well. He wakes up at odd times crying....we've tried letting him cry it out and it helps to a certain extent, but its been dragging on for some time and he hasn't been completely "cured".

We brought him to Church camp and he enjoyed himself. The sleep was lousy, he ended up sleeping with me in my bed which meant neither of us had any decent sleep. But I couldn't possibly use the cry it out technique lest the other hotel guests complain. He swam in the hotel pool, decked out in his surfer dude outfit, sunnies and a cool mushroom float. He didn't like it much, and it didn't help that he was tired and due for his milk at the time. Will have to try again another time.

He was also the centre of attention at playgroup, where he got to sit on the laps of many teenage girls. My parents in law were a great help and I managed to sit down and eat my meals in peace cos they took turns to feed and entertain him.

Marc's able to stand on his own momentarily. He crawls well and is also starting to "cruise" - basically walk around whilst holding onto furniture. His mobility is beyond the benchmark for his age group, but he's slow in other areas like speaking and hand actions (waving bye bye, etc). The Husband says its normal cos Marc's a jock. He's interested in doing things rather than communicating. I suspect he speaks from experience. :)

In 3 months time he'll turn 1!!! Amazing how quickly they grow...

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Cool Sunnies



Yes the Husband is back from his trip and with a bag load of stuff for Marc! See his latest accessory - sunglasses! Realised we should have removed the "shatterproof" sticker AFTER we took the photo, but oh well, its cute anyway. He didn't pull the sunnies off, which surprised us. He went around Church with his sunnies for quite a long while. I asked for the Husband to buy a new wetsuit for Marc and he came back with board shorts and a surfer tee. SO COOL! Will upload pics of him in his new swim gear when we go to Church camp next week.

Monday, May 19, 2008

A Taste of Single Parenthood




Its been 9 days since the Husband left for his business trip and I'm still alive! I have to say my helper has indeed been a great help and I wouldn't have been able to balance it all without her.

After the Husband left last Saturday, I was left with nothing to do - a very bored mummy means a very bored baby which means restlessness. So I planned lots of activities this long weekend. On Saturday, Marc and I headed for Botanics with E and her 2 girls. I think E and I had more fun chatting than the kids. Marc was hot and bothered by the time we left! Brought Marc to a colleague's dinner and he had a ball swishing his feet in the pool and interacting with my colleagues and some other kids at the party.

On Sunday we went to Church as usual and enjoyed a pasta dinner thanks to my sister in law and her boyfriend. Headed out to Botanics again this morning with W and her son. The boys hated the heat and we retreated to Venezia at Guthrie house. The minute we stepped into the aircon, the boys were happy and chattering away. We lamented that Singapore is just not outing-friendly, the heat is terrible and we are forced to retreat to aircon malls and buildings.

Marc has been having sleep problems lately, which has left me quite troubled. To sleep train or not to sleep train him? He wakes up periodically in the night crying...he usually settles after we pop the pacifier in his mouth. Some of my friends tell me to let him cry it out or he will never learn to settle himself back to sleep. I'm trying to eliminate other possibilities, like teething, hunger, discomfort, etc. Its not an easy decision to allow your child to cry. In densely populated Singapore, one of the biggest deterrents are the neighbours! Marc is really loud and I'm sure the neighbours would call the police if I let him cry for more than half an hour.

As he grows older and more aware, he's so much fun to be around with. Just today he learnt to put his head on my pillow and lie beside me whilst I make funny faces at him and do fart sounds on his tummy. He sits there and chuckles, stroking my face. He even plopped his wet lips on my cheek, whether its deliberate or not I'm taking it as Marc's first kiss for mummy!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Hitting the 8th month mark




Marc eats a phenomenal amount. He pooed a total of SIX times today - that's normal for a newborn, he's not a newborn though! He's starting to become more expressive and more affectionate. He'll touch the faces of family members that he recognises and puts his hand on your arm and grabs you if he wants you to come over. When he sees food, he stretches out both his arms and yells in excitement. No one taught him that! But there's no doubt that he's my son! Like mother like son!

His sleeping habits have gone bananas as well. At one stage, he woke up at 12midnight and refused to go back to sleep. He wasn't hungry, refused his milk, and just wanted to sit on his feeding chair and play. The Husband and I were ill so we let the helper take care of him. She put him back to sleep at 3 and he kept waking up every 15 minutes. At 8am when I saw him, he was alert! He woke up at odd times for a few more days and has reverted back to his normal sleep patterns. But we can't seem to shake certain bad habits. He sometimes wakes up yelling, and only falls back to sleep after his pacifier is popped back into his mouth. Other times he yells and falls back to sleep on his own. I'm tempted to start some form of sleep training on him, but I don't have the guts to let him cry it out.

He's also able to crawl and pull onto things around him for support when standing. And he moves fast!! He's had a total of 2 falls already. The recent one resulting on him landing on the tiled floor - thankfully his bumbo seat was still attached to his bum when he landed and it broke his fall.

And he's VERY ROUGH. When I play with him, I always end up tired and secretly asking God to make sure my next child is a girl. He loves being thrown in the air, wrestled, or anything remotely like rugby. I can't get him to settle to read a book. But he will sit down and watch Baby Einstein for a good half hour. And he won't just watch, he'll watch and burst out laughing! Its quite hilarious observing him. I notice that the particular segment that he likes is when the Crayola crayons start dancing and drawing shapes.

Thank God for a good helper. I've learnt to let go and not let the jealousy get to me. Now that Marc is more expressive, he shows his excitement when he sees me. I make sure that I'm the one comforting him after a fall and at times when he's fretful, he is only comforted when I carry him. He loves my helper and vice versa, I count it a blessing because I know she won't hurt him and takes care of him out of genuine concern. I think its good for young kids to form attachments and have the security of knowing he can rely on adults around him to give him unconditional love. I still miss him heaps when I'm at work and I try to give him my undivided attention when I'm home.

And he's said his first word - no prizes for guessing what it is. "Mum Mum", which unfortunately doesn't mean mummy - it means food!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The end of a momentous journey



Marc's coming to 8 months old and I'm thankful I've managed to continue to breastfeed him thus far. He's decided that he doesn't want to suckle anymore - I don't blame him, drinking from a bottle is so much easier and faster. Plus sucking on a pacifier has its benefits - he can sink his teeth right into it and the pacifier won't react. So my milk supply has been dropping steadily but surely. On the one hand, I'm looking forward to freedom again - no more lugging around my pump (which every male colleague thinks is my gym bag) and I'm free to wear anything I like (nursing bras aren't fun, trust me)...on the other hand I miss having my baby nestled close to me and being able soothe and nourish him at the same time. Its a bittersweet journey but I'm glad I persevered!

Marc's latest adventures include his first injury, jumping himself silly on the Jumperoo and flirting with secondary school girls at NTUC Finest Supermarket.

1) Injury
It was 9pm after we returned from dinner with the in-laws and Marc was drowsy and sleepy. I placed him at the foot of the mattress on our Japanese platform, turned and walked a few steps to get something from his basket...at the same time, my helper walked into the room with his sleep sack getting ready to dress him for bed. Literally - in the twinkle of an eye, he managed to fall headfirst onto the floor. Neither of us saw how it happenned, my helper lunged forward to catch him, but neither of us got there on time. The result - screaming at the top of his lungs for half an hour...after which he was so tired he fell asleep. The next day he had a small bruise above his left brow. I still can't figure out how he fell, from the position where I left him and the way that he fell. All I know is that he landed on his head.

Needless to say, I was worried all night, madly smsing my doctor friend to see if I needed to watch out for signs of concussion. She assured me that he would be perfectly fine and that her kids have fallen out of the playpen countless times.

I thought that would teach Marc not to peer over the edge of the bed and attempt to jump off. I couldn't be more wrong - he wanted to jump off again! I'm thinking he'll be into all sorts of extreme sports next time...I better start getting him an insurance policy!

2) Jumperoo
I'm convinced that by the time I return it in May - it will be damaged! (Don't tell the good folks at rent a toy.com) Marc has figured out how to jump in the Jumperoo and he jumps with all his might. The poor toy is wobbling away but he doesn't seem to care. We've resorted to making it one level higher so that he has less leeway to propel himself upwards. Now I'm worried about damaging his knees from the impact!

3) Flirting with girls
The Husband brought Marc supermarketing the other day. He was amazed - looking around at all the food from his trolley seat and attemping to grab as much as he could reach. Then he spotted 3 secondary school girls and turned to face them, yelling at them to attract their attention. They turned to look at him and started cooing at him. The Husband told Marc that he was too young for them, to which one of them replied and said "its ok, I'll wait for you!".

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I've got 2 teeth!




We brought the kid to the zoo yesterday. The only animals he really looked at were the zebras and the lions, probably cos there are pictures of them on his bedroom wall. He was most enthralled not by the animals but by a little Japanese girl that ran past his stroller - he almost climbed out of his stroller looking at her....sigh...its back to older women again. (at least she was pretty, he has good taste!)

He has sprouted 2 little teeth on the bottom row of his gums - very cute but also a source of amusement for him. He keeps chewing on things and using his tongue and lips to play with them. Just today, he bit me 3 times while trying to nurse him. I think I shall have to stop soon or risk drawing blood as he sprouts more teeth. We clean them with a pigeon baby tooth cleaner twice a day.

He's now able to sit without support, but he's so gung ho that he throws himself forwards and backwards, with no regard of his personal safety. What's even worse is that he's not afraid of pain. Just the other day he was crawling around on our bed when we heard a hollow knock - from the position he was in he must have knocked his head on the chest of drawers at the foot of our bed. He yelled a little, then continued thrashing around. A little while later we found a little red patch on his forehead - he didn't seem to care one bit! He's still causing us pain when he knocks into us but he doesn't seem to be fazed by it. I reckon he can play rugby when he grows up.

He likes his jumperoo. There are little toys around the jumperoo that fascinate him. hat fascinated us was how he could use his tiny fingers to spin the little wheels with such dexterity - he doesn't just use his fingers to manually spin them, he knows how to flick them with such force that they spin at maximum speed.

He is also starting to show how greedy he is...just the other day he yelled at his Aunty Eunice because she was eating in front of him - he wanted to eat her vegetarian bee hoon! I experimented with a beef stew recipe on Saturday and my helper tells me he ate half a bowl! She had to stop feeding him because she was worried he would overeat.

I'm still finding it a struggle to spend enough time with Marc. He sleeps a little later, around 8 when he's tired and 9 on a very good day. Including a short while in the morning before I leave for work, I get maybe 2 hours with him a day. I think its hard to really be close to or build a relationship with someone you see 2 hours a day. At times, I feel like I'm being drawn and quartered - pulled in many different directions, doing many things at once and not excelling at any. I think its something many working mothers struggle with. I had a conversation with the Husband and told him I worry that Marc will become a latchkey kid - we have no choice but to leave him with the helper for extended periods during the day and sometimes on weekends when we serve at our young adults ministry. The Husband thinks I'm crazy and he's far from becoming one, but I can't help worrying. Before I became a mother I thought that I would take him along to all our meetings but I've come to realise these are ideals that are not practical in reality. If I bring him along without the Helper, I have to be prepared to not participate at all in any meaningful discussions or meetings. Everyone else offers to help but it also means that they miss out on the discussion. For the rest, he serves as a distraction - not a good idea at serious meetings or prayer. Plus he still gets really cranky at nights. So we leave him at home. Which means I feel torn again, between work, motherhood and ministry. I miss him when I'm at work or at ministry meetings, but I feel guilty if I stay at home with him and don't attend these meetings. I remember feeling totally cooped up during maternity leave, but now that I'm back at work I can't wait to get home to see him. As a working Mum, you can't win!

I spoke to a colleague this week who travels a lot for work and has 3 children at home. She is from an European country, where domestic helpers are not easily available. She has a babysitter that comes in the daytime. I ask her how she manages to look after all 3 of them, cook dinner and do all the chores when she gets home. She answered saying she doesn't do it well - dinner is a half baked job and her kids miss her all the time. But we make a choice as working mothers and we have to live with it. I could see the emotions behind her eyes as she spoke to me and I shared the feeling.

I realise that even if I'm a stay at home mum and saw Marc a lot, it doesn't guarantee that he will turn out "right" - he could still be a real terror. At the end of the day, I realise that I have to trust God more, do my best, pray and leave the rest to Him. If I depend on myself, I will always lose whether I work full time or not. Life is full of choices and I just pray that I'm sensitive to that still small voice to always make the right ones.

Everyone tells me Marc is so sociable and and its nice that he doesn't mind letting anyone carry him. I tell them it makes me a very insecure mother, as he doesn't show a preference for me above everyone else! Just this week, he appeared to display a little stranger anxiety. He burst into tears after seeing me when someone unfamiliar was carrying him. The Husband teased me and said I must be pleased - its really selfish but yes, it felt good!!! Maybe he does know who is Mummy is afterall!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Cutie Pie

The Husband and I love this shot, especially his cheeky smile! My Dad took this picture...



I have emerged from this weekend rather injured. I have a cut on my lip cos Marc rammed his head into my face and my lips split against my tooth. He also decided to bite me whilst breastfeeding. Yup, not fun.

His latest trick, rotating both his hands whilst keeping them extended, so he looks like he's hula dancing. Very cute.

I've rented a jumperoo for Marc since he loves jumping so much. It should arrive early this week...apparently looks like this:



I figured I might as well let him jump this heart's content and expend all his energy so that he can sleep better at night.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

First No Baby Trip




The Husband and I have just returned from our first holiday without Marc...Marc did cry when we left the house and I insist that its because he knew we were leaving him but the Husband thinks he just wanted to sleep. Doesn't matter, let me indulge in my fantasy. Marc was so happy with his grandparents, I don't think he even realised we were gone! All I heard was that he jumped around all day and ate a lot, pooed a lot and played again. Friends tell me that I should be grateful he's not clingy, but tell that to an insecure working mum and its cold comfort...

We were gone for a total of 3 days 2 nights to Bangkok - shopped till our feet ached, ate lots of sharks fin in hot pot and had a great spa massage. Was a good trip and probably the maximum time I could endure being away from Marc. We had such a bad experience with Tiger airways however and swore we would never fly Tiger again. Just comparing how they conduct their affairs, we've concluded they really cut corners. Whilst every other budget airline boarded and departed on time, ours was delayed, without even a notice as to how long the delay was. Thankfully it was only 2 hours, we've heard stories of overnight delays.

Marc is still crawling backwards, but he's able to stand with support, jump continously and just today - push himself from a crawling position to sitting with support on his arms. We'll have to drop the cot one level down again. He's still exhibiting very boyish traits. Not sentimental or clingy, loves to play, is very rough when he plays, eats like a pig, shouts loudly...we were out at a Chinese restaurant recently and Marc flirted with a pretty waitress. Not that he was in a good mood, he was actually fussing away but he managed to put on his sweetest smile when she came round to play with him.

We're slowly building up his culinary repetoire. He's tried carrot, pumpkin, avocado, yoghurt, sweet potato, zucchini, brown rice cereal, apples, bananas and pears. He likes them all but his favourite are the items that are sweet. I'm thankful for a very efficient helper who loves Marc to bits, so I know he's in good hands.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Carrot Face





Yes - he is every bit as greedy as he looks! He LOVES his food, especially pumpkin and sweet potato.

Busy week for me leading up to Easter. Going away for a couple weekend with the Husband for 3 days 2 nights. He's convinced I will miss Marc so much that I'll cry all the way to the airport. I denied it all the way and said I will be fine. I'm not so sure now....!!!

Monday, March 10, 2008

The 6 month mark for Marc!



You are 6 months old tomorrow Bubbles! I've decided to write a blog entry addressed just to you - my baby who won't be a baby much longer. I got the idea from a friend of Aunty Daphne who also has a baby blog. I was inspired to finally write when I read about a Mum who chose not to abort her foetus despite having breast cancer and carried her baby to full term, only to pass away 3 months after her baby was born despite intensive chemotherapy. It made me think about what I would want to say to you after I've left this world. And I realise there's lots....but God willing, Mummy will still have lots of time left to be with you. Yet each day of life is a gift from God - if today were my last I would want to leave with no regrets.

With each month that passes you are growing and learning more. The past month saw you eating solids. And after you figured out how to swallow, you can't eat fast enough! Daddy knew for certain that you were my child after an incident on Sunday. Ah Gong and Ah Mah put on a Baby Einstein DVD for you to watch. You were so engrossed until it came to a portion which showed a baby eating cereal. You started hyperventilating and yelling till you were fed your cereal. That's the same reaction Mummy has watching Japan Hour!!! You have the genes to become a true foodie my son! Keep it up! So far you've tried carrots, avocadoes and pumpkin along with plain rice cereal - and you like them all!

You've also started to become very demanding. You yell to be carried, to be fed, to be shifted and to be entertained. Daddy and Mummy love you very much, which is why we have to train and discipline you when you are out of line. This hurts us very much, yet it will be much worse if we didn't do anything about it. So we let you yell till you realise it doesn't get you things. Unfortunately not everyone is very consistent in this approach, I'm guilty of this myself. I'm worried you'll grow up to be a spoilt brat.

Your strength grows with each day. You've started INJURING your parents. Yes Daddy was boxed in the eye by you the other day and thought how embarassing it would be if he had to go see a doctor and explain to them he got beaten up by his 6 month old baby. You've scratched Mummy countless times and I'm short of being covered in bruises. We're convinced you can be a really good rugby player next time! Where did you get your strong genes from?

And we know you like taking pictures - we didn't realise how much till recently. You smile with your mouth wide open with each shot - just like in this post! We were so amazed. Maybe we should send you for child modelling so that we can earn some money. :)

Time flies and you still show no attachment preferences to anyone. Whoever is happy to strain their arms and carry you around the place is good enough for you. You seem to exhibit very male traits, and I think its a good thing for you to not be too clingy. Which makes Mummy feel really insecure at times!

Your preference for girls (and not just any girl but PRETTY girls) is still consistent. So you like food and you like women. Mummy thinks you will like Italy. :)

I'll dedicate more posts to you in the future. Parting thoughts from Mummy - remember to always be a gentleman, give up your seat to those who need it when travelling on public transport, offer to carry bags and other heavy items for female and elderly friends/family members and always be grateful for what God has blessed you with, no matter how miserable your lots seems to be. :) Mummy loves you more than she ever thought she could love another human being and misses you a whole lot when she's away from you. You've given Mummy a whole new meaning to life and she wouldn't trade the sleepless nights, mastitis, lack of free time (not to mention less shopping money!) for anything else. Till my next post, sweet dreams my little one!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Messy Weekend



This weekend was cereal ceremony weekend. It was a riot! We had it all planned. Plastic bib - check. Plastic bowl - check. Baby spoon - check. Baby rice cereal - check. After placing him on the bumbo we made him wear his plastic bib. The Husband was eagerly filming every move. First hiccup. The kid was more interested in the bib than the cereal and started eating the bib. So I removed the bib.

Then we tried again. He happily opened his mouth for the cereal. But he stuck out his tongue and most of it came out. We tried again and same thing happenned, this time he had a funny expression on this face and a little frown. Methinks he doesn't like it! This went on a few times, most of the cereal ending up all over his naked chest and belly. He did enjoy it though and started banging his bumbo seat. He flung his arms so much the entire bowl of cereal ended on the floor, half of it landed on me, half on him.

We'll keep trying. :) We all had a good laugh and enjoyed this milestone.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Milestone Ahead!



This was a wonderful weekend. Whilst playing with Marc on our bed, he reached out and touched my face several times. The feeling is great - its like falling in love all over again, with my own baby! He was extremely amused by some trick I was doing (I can't even remember what it was now) but he reached out and touched by left cheek a few times. The Husband says Marc has never done it to him. The Husband is really sweet, he takes every opportunity to use what Marc does to remind me that Marc's doing it cos he loves his mummy. Whether its true or not, its nice to believe in it so I'll take it at face value.

Marc stuck his hand into my dinner last night. I was nursing him whilst eating and he was so distracted with my spaghetti bolognaise he slammed his entire hand into the plate. He also made chewing motions whilst watching us have dinner. I think he's ready for solids. He's seemed to lose interest in milk and is drinking less than before. So the Husband and I decided that we shall start him on rice cereal this week. Stay tuned for more adventures!

I read a funny article today about Idle Parenting. I've extracted it for your reading pleasure. It sounds a little absurd but it bears some truth in it. I remember making up lots of my own games when I was young and having unstructured play with neighbours, pretending we were radio deejays, travel agents, explorers and the like. I would like Marc to have that kind of childhood rather than to sit in front of a computer screen all day playing computer games or running from class to class.

The Telegragh

Idle parenting means happy children

Cancel all clubs, ditch the after-school activities and leave those kids alone, urges Tom Hodgkinson

An unhealthy dose of the work ethic is threatening to wreck childhood. Under a tyrannical work-obsessed government, years that should be devoted to play and joyful learning are being stifled by targets and tests. Leisure time is being invaded by the commercial and escapist virtual worlds of the computer.

Pushy parents don't help by making childhood a stress-filled time of striving and competing.

Our children's days are crammed full with activities: ballet, judo, tennis, piano, sport, art projects. At home they are entertained by giant screens and computers. In between, they are strapped into cars and made to listen to educational tapes. Ambitious mothers force hours of homework on bewildered 10-year-olds, hanging the abstract fear of "future employers" over their heads.

Then they buy them a Nintendo Wii, the absurd, costly gadget that's supposed to bring some element of physicality to computer games. It's only a matter of time before children have their own BlackBerrys.

I think of the New Yorker cartoon of two kids in a playground, each staring at a personal organiser and one saying: "I can fit you in for unscheduled play next Thursday at four." All these activities impose a huge burden of cost and time on the already harried parent. They leave no room for simply mucking about. They have the other unwelcome side effect of making the children incapable of looking after themselves. When they are stimulated by outside agencies, whether that be course leader, computer or television, they lose the ability to create their own games. They forget how to play.

I recall when our eldest child, a victim of chronic over-stimulation by his anxious parents, screamed "I need some entertainment!" during a bored moment. A chilling comment, particularly from a five-year-old. What now? What next? These are the questions our hyper-stimulated kids will ask. What has happened to their own imagination?

There is a way out of this over-zealous parenting trap, a simple solution that will make your life easier and cheaper. It will make your kids' lives more enjoyable and also will help to produce happy, self-sufficient children, who can create their own lives without depending on a Mummy substitute. I call it idle parenting and our mantra is: "Leave them alone."

The welcome discovery that a lazy parent is a good parent took root when I read the following passage from a DH Lawrence essay, Education of the People, published in 1918: "How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning."

To the busy modern parent, this idea seems counter-intuitive. Aren't we always told to do more, not less? All parents have a nagging sense that somehow we are doing it all wrong and that more work needs to be done. But the problem is that we put too much work into parenting, not too little. By interfering a lot, we are not letting children grow up and learn themselves. The child who has been overprotected will not know how to look after himself. We are too much in children's faces. We need to retreat. Let them live.

Welcome to the school of inactive parenting. It's a win-win situation: less work for you and better for the child, both in terms of enjoying everyday life and also for self-reliance and independence. I am not advocating slobbish neglect. (Maybe I went too far with my idle parenting when I dozed off on the sofa in front of the woodburning stove, while "doing the childcare", as the ugly modern phrase has it, to be woken by the screams of a toddler who had placed his hands squarely on the hot metal and burned his fingertips.) Clearly we don't let our children jump out of windows or go about with unchanged nappies. There is carefree and there is careless, and there is a difference.

But to create a household free of care would be a wonderful thing. It has become obvious to me, watching our three children grow up, that the more they have been ignored, the better. The eldest had a surfeit of anxious parental supervision and is still the trickiest and most needy (although we're working on it). The second had a little less attention and she is more self-sufficient. The third was born on the bathroom floor and has had to get on with his own life. And he is perhaps the best of all three at playing. Certainly he is the most comical.

The great thing about children is that they like being busy. Since parents like being lazy, it makes sense for the children to do the work. This idea was partly explored in the 19th century, when children as young as five were sent into the factories. The fact that meddlesome liberals have since introduced child labour laws does not need to prevent the idle parents exploiting their own offspring.
One morning, not so long ago, V and I refused to get up. I imagine we were hung over. At about nine o'clock, the bedroom door swung open and in walked Arthur, then six, with two cups of tea. A lot can be achieved by lying in bed. Simply by doing nothing, you can train children to do useful things. During the last holiday, we found we were lying in bed till 10 or 11. By abandoning our kids, they had taught themselves how to get up, make themselves breakfast and play.

Paradoxically, the idle parent is a responsible parent because at the heart of idle parenting is a respect for the child, a trust in another human being. It is the irresponsible parent who hands the child over to various authorities for its education and care, whether that is childminders, schools, CBeebies or the virtual world of Habbo Hotel. Or it is the parent who tries to impose his own vision on the children and does not simply let them be.

Another great advantage of being idle is that it avoids causing resentment in the parent. There is nothing so corrosive or pestilent as resentment stewing in the breast. Imagine making all those sacrifices, putting yourself out for your children, going without, and then they go junkie on you. No, there is no room for martyrs in the world of the idle parent. Our happiness comes first. And that is the right way round. As a cab driver said to me the other day: "My kids are happy because we're happy." Do not suffer. Enjoy your life.

The idle parent is a stay-at-home parent. Not for us costly leisure pursuits at the weekend. We reject the cheap thrills of expensive padded plastic fun palaces, zoos and days out in general. We find fun in our own backyards. We make aeroplanes out of cereal packets and it's amazing how many catching and tickling games you can play with your kids while sitting on the sofa.

The idle parent is a thrifty parent. We don't work too hard and therefore we can't expect to be rolling in cash. With thrift comes creativity. "Waste is unpoetic, thrift is creative," as GK Chesterton wrote. With no money, you start to discover your own inner resources. You make things and draw. Put a pile of A4 paper on the kitchen table, along with a stapler, scissors, crayons and glue, and you'll be amazed at what your children come up with. Forget digital gewgaws. Go analogue. It's more fun and a lot cheaper. Put a bird feeder outside the kitchen window. Fun does not need to be expensive.

We don't care about status and career advancement and how we are perceived by others. We are free of all of that rubbish. We simply want to enjoy our lives and to give our children a happy childhood. What greater gift could there be from a parent? If our children tell their friends in later life that they enjoyed their childhood, I would count that as a great achievement. Better to have a happy childhood than a high-achieving one that brings a big psychiatrist's bill in adult life.

Idle parents are sociable. We recognise the importance of friends. They lighten the burden. A myth of modern society is the idea that "you're on your own in this world". Instead of talking to friends and neighbours, anxious people seek advice in books, websites and internet forums. We resist asking for help or admitting weakness. Be weak! Give up! You can't do everything. Lower your standards. Get friends to help you. Organise little nurseries at your house where parents can chat and kids can play while you ignore them.

I love DH Lawrence's idea of childcare. He says babies should "be given to stupid fat old women who can't be bothered with them… leave the children alone. Pitch them out into the streets or the playgrounds, and take no notice of them." Do not view them as raw material to be moulded into an obedient slave for the workplace of the future. Let them play. And yes, get your friends around. Life is so much easier when the work is shared. Friends bring laughter and joy. There's no sadder sight than the lone parent, pushing her child around the gloomy municipal park, trying to tell herself that she is having a good time.

My idea of childcare is a large field. At one side is a marquee serving local ales. This is where the parents gather. On the other side, somewhere in the distance, the children play. I don't bother them and they don't bother me. I give them as much freedom as possible.

But the life of an idle parent is not so easy. Children do not always adapt to the anti-consumerist model that the natural parent promotes. They want stuff. Children get in your face. They make a terrible mess. They scream and whine. And the mother and father seem to disagree on pretty much everything, from paint colours to mealtime manners, as a matter of marital policy.

There are more worries. Is it mean to deny a child an iPod Nano for his birthday and instead give him a ball of string and The Dangerous Book for Boys? Should I really put a broadband connection in the tree house? Should I work even harder so that they can go skiing and wear expensive trainers? Would I be less grumpy if I drank less alcohol?

Sometimes we doubt our own gospel. So over the coming weeks, I hope to outline an enjoyable parenting philosophy in Weekend, while acknowledging that it isn't always easy.

I will confess my many parenting errors. I am a disaster-prone, chaotic layabout and so should warn you not to listen to my advice. Certainly my friends say the idea of me advising other parents on childcare is absurd.

With that caveat in mind, let us go forth, throw away the rule books, forget what other people think and enjoy family life and all its joys and woes.

Manifesto of the idle parent

We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
We pledge to leave our children alone
That should mean that they leave us alone, too
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals
We drink alcohol without guilt
We reject the inner Puritan
We fill the house with music and laughter
We don't waste money on family days out and holidays
We lie in bed for as long as possible
We try not to interfere
We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
Time is more important than money
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
Down with school
We fill the house with music and merriment

Tom Hodgkinson is editor of The Idler magazine and author of the best-selling How to be Free and How to be Idle.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

5 month old socialite




Marc is 5 months old and we're quite sure he's a socialite. This is a picture of the first girl we tried to matchmake him to. She's a 3 month old baby who happenned to be at a friend's chinese new year celebration. He wasn't interested, which didn't surprise us cos he loves older women. He did however become EXTREMELY talkative during Chinese new year. After reunion dinner at the in laws place, Marc started babbling really loudly. He kept this up at the top of his voice for half an hour non stop - which really surprised us because he sleeps really early at home. He's never spent that much time among a large group people before and he loved the attention. I'm starting to wonder if perhaps he cries at home not from tiredness but from sheer boredom.

He's become a proficient flipper so he spends most of his time now flipping from the mat to the floor. We leave him there if he's not eating off it, but we really need to get a playpen or something similar soon.

He's also eating everything. He ate every red packet he received and we told our friends its his way of determining how much money it contains.

The Husband and I are contemplating going away alone for a short while as my parents will be visiting us for a few weeks. They miss Marc heaps and are more than happy to have him all to themselves. Honestly, taking time off work to NOT spend time with Marc is really painful for me. But I realise that I have to make time for the Husband and I have to make time for me. I'm the kind of person that can spend 24 hours with the Husband and not need any alone time. Same goes for spending time with Marc. But its not healthy and if the Husband and I don't go away now, it will not be easy for us to do so again. Marc will still be at home and there will be very little adjustment for him even if we left as he will be in familiar surroundings. I still intend to breastfeed so I will have to lug the pump with me and pump at my usual times, but throw away the milk that I can't store.

Marc seems almost ready to start solids. He's drooling a lot and is interested when we eat. He can almost sit on how own and is losing interest in his milk. Another big milestone to conquer!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Letting Go



I made a decision today and I gingerly choose to write about in the hope that I will stick to my decision. The past one and a half months of going back to work has seen its ups and downs. I rush home everyday at 6sharp so that I can bathe Marc before he screams at 7 sharp and demands to be put to bed. But of course, its not always possible for me to make it back on time. On those days, I feel really resentful. I'm resentful that I didn't make it back on time. I'm resentful that my baby sleeps so early (who sleeps at 7 anyway?) I insist on taking care of Marc when I'm home and on weekends. Why? I'm afraid. Afraid that he'll forget his mummy. Afraid that he will prefer the domestic helper than his mummy. And I spend a lot of time worrying about it.

The Husband told me point blank the other day that I have to let it go. It started off with a conversation about letting Marc watch 30 minutes of Baby Einstein a day. I figured he might as well watch something educational and it will give the helper a good 30 minutes of free time to prepare dinner and do the chores. Whilst the Husband doesn't object, he warned me about becoming one of those pushy parents. The Husband feels that just because Marc isn't doing something "educational" doesn't mean he's not learning. He's watching his surroundings, listening to people talk, and learning all the same. He also aptly reminded me that its not the things we do that matter - its God. We have a God that's real and one that loves Marc more than I possibly can. How did I conveniently forget that? In a separate conversation where I griped about not spending enough time with Marc and how resentful I felt, the Husband said that there's no doubt that he will get attached to the domestic helper - she adores him and takes care of him from Monday to Fridays. But he told me with such conviction that there's no way Marc will forget his Mummy. I've been told that by several other friends who are parents themselves. And the Husband is right. I've got to let it go or its going to eat me up inside.

Its hard for me not to worry. In fact, I've concluded that its hard for mothers not to worry, full stop! We spend so much time worrying! Why should I worry about Marc not preferring me? Because I love him so much it would hurt me terribly? Because it would incite such jealousy in me I feel like strangling the nearest person? Because it would make me feel like a lousy mother? Yes - to all the above. But its all about me isn't it? Its so easy to get swallowed up in the here and now that we forget the big picture. Marc will grow, and he will learn, and he will go through phases. I know the road ahead is going to be full of heartache, but I'm going to trust that God knows best. He's never failed me and I know He is with me all the way.

So today at Church when it was time for the Lord's supper, I was burdened to make a decision. And I told God I'm going to let go. This doesn't mean I won't suffer a relapse. And this doesn't mean I will stop feeling resentful. But I'm going to ask God to help me and I've made a decision to let go. I'm not going to let all this negativity rob me of the unspeakable joy from each moment that I do have with Marc. And I'm not going to let this fear rob me of being grateful for the quiet moments that I do have with the Husband and to myself. There are many parents who would kill to have a baby that sleeps at 7 and I'm choosing to be content. I really do have a choice to be happy or a perpetual worrier. I'll choose the former and God help me to stick to my resolve!

On a brighter note, the little creature is learning fast. First of all, he's grown so fat the entire bumbo seat was stuck to his bum when I tried to lift him up today. He can flip several times in a row so he ends up on the floor. And lastly - he's eating everything. I examined his gums today and I can see a little bump on the top left gum - teething!! Good luck to us...he's starting to get a bit cranky and I suspect its that. Am looking forward to starting him on solids soon, although I don't think he's ready for it yet. He's also starting to show an interest in story books, so we're reading to him more. Come Chinese new year, he'll be 5 months old and his bank account will be bigger thanks to angpows!

I'm glad I'm still nursing him and I never thought I would make it this far. I remember the early days where each day that I managed to supply enough milk for him was like a huge victory. My favourite moments now are when Marc decides to suckle - not because he's hungry but because he wants to and he stops every 2 seconds to look up at me and look deep into my eyes and smile broadly, before continuing suckling happily away. They say its hard for working mums to breastfeed - it is indeed and takes loads of commitment and sacrifice, but to me, its the working mums who need to continue breastfeeding because that's the only thing a mummy can do that no one else can.

The Husband asked me if I was going to continue this lack of sleep for much longer (I still can't sleep for more than 5 hours at a stretch, if Marc sleeps through then 6 hours on a rare day but mostly I sleep 2 hours before pumping then another 4 hours before waking up in the morning). I haven't really thought about it but I do intend to continue breastfeeding for a while longer, even if I reduce my supply such that he's taking partial formula milk. To me, the fact that I haven't actually fallen ill from the fatigue is divine intervention! I used to need at least 8 hours in a row every night to function...what a change! But that's parenthood and that's life isn't it? Its full of exciting changes!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

4 months flown by



I can't believe I've made it through 4 months of motherhood. And in 4 months, I've crossed many hurdles, much more than I have in my 29 years of life! The first month was a struggle - the blues, coupled with breastfeeding woes, inadequacy and doubt over being a parent, worry about whether I was doing it right, coupled with lack of sleep and a very very hungry baby. Thankfully, God sent the confinement nanny to help and a very understanding husband.

Second month was sheer fatigue. I don't remember much besides the 3 hourly pumping sessions, endless scrubbing of bottles and pumping equipment, lots of crying and a few bright days when the Husband took me out of the house. God sent my parents who were such a blessing and an encouragment, and told me that I was doing just fine.

By the end of the second month, my parents had left and there was about 2 weeks of adjustment and hell again. But I managed to adjust, overcome the fear of going out alone with Marc and even managed to cope with the lack of sleep, taking care of Marc without any hired (or parental) help and cook dinner from scratch!

The third month was when it dawned on me that I really didn't have much time left with Marc. Once I decided to go back to work full time, every day was a mad rush to spend as much time with Marc as I could. At 3 and a half months I made the transition back to full time work. I wouldn't say that I've totally adjusted yet, but I'm getting there. Looking back on those sleep deprived, difficult early days, I really thank God for seeing me through. After speaking to a few friends, many have told me that they would not have persisted with the breastfeeding - not just because its hard, but also because I have a milk monster who doesn't feed well from the breast, hence I've been doing double work, pumping and feeding and without hired help at the time. I couldn't have done it without God's help and lots of encouragement from fellow mums.

As for breastfeeding, Marc and I have settled into a happy balance. I still pump 5 times a day, once in the morning, twice at work and twice at night when I come home. I'm really glad I persisted, since Marc is growing very well and as a working Mum, its something that brings me close to my baby. Being away from him is harder than I imagined and with the little he sees of me, breastfeeding is the one thing I can do that no one else can. Its hard not to feel possessive, especially since Marc doesn't show a preference to anyone. I still rush home like a headless chicken in the evenings so that I can bathe him and put him to bed. And I still wake at 6am daily so that I can feed him and interact with him a little before going to work. But on days when he sleeps a little later in the morning or a little earlier in the evening, my interaction with him can be a whole of 10 meaningful minutes. I still wonder how he remembers his mummy but everyone assures me he will.

I spoke to a colleague who's a fellow Mum and she agreed that a mother's heart is full of heartache and worry. I realise that I'm very blessed - I have a good domestic helper that I can trust Marc with during the day. Sure, I worry about whether he'll get too attached to her, hence I insist on spending as much time as I can with him when I'm home, down to the feeding and diaper changes. But I have friends who are not so lucky and have to put their babies in infant-care centres or with nannies during the week.

Chinese new year is round the corner and we have one thing to look forward to - re-couping our losses after 4 years of giving red packets and not getting anything back! Its a chinese tradition that cannot be avoided and those of you who are married with no kids will know what I mean...withdrawing a 4 figure sum of new notes every year with no re-coup is VERY expensive...so we're teaching the kid to put his hands together and say "gong xi gong xi". He gets the idea but we have yet to see him perform on cue.

He's now learnt to roll over both ways, which means we can't leave him in one spot and expect him to stay there. He loves to eat his fingers and he loves to watch TV. In fact, he's such an old man in a young body, he continues to surprise us. The husband and I spoke to him after one of our night feeds. He was sitting quietly on the dining table (its tiring carrying a 7kg weight and its a bit hard to have a conversation when he's on your lap) and the Husband asked him what he thought about a letter we had received. Marc actually turned around and bent forward to examine the letter - as if he could read the contents! We both burst out laughing! He loves to talk and likes it even more when people talk to him.

He's growing and learning more each day and he truly is a bundle of joy. For those of you who are thinking of having kids - don't delay for too long. Enjoy your days of couple-hood and build a strong marriage foundation, cos when the baby comes, it will rock the strongest of marriages!

For those of you who are preggers - the first couple of months are the hardest but it gets better - trust me, I know. :) I can't lie to say that you will ever sleep longer than 5 hours at a stretch for a long while (if you are breastfeeding or have a baby that just doesn't sleep through the night), or that your marriage will be the same as it was before, or that you will be able to have an uninterrupted meal ever again - but its worth it! Motherhood changes you and teaches you a lot about yourself and makes you a much stronger person if you persist through all its challenges. And I still have the rest of my life to perfect it - here's to an exciting journey ahead!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

A Working Mum's Life




I made it through my first 6 working days...and I'm still alive! Thank God for his mercies everyday and seeing me through thus far. Marc turns 4 months this Friday and I can't believe how he's grown. We were looking back at some of Marc's old photos and the Husband and I said - "was he ever this small???"

We've all settled into a routine for my work days and after much tears and sadness, I've managed to pull through my work days. The heartache is getting less and less everyday and I look forward to leaving work on time so that I can come back and see him. This means I try my best to be efficient at work and complete my work on time so that I can leave on the dot. My father in law has booked a car park lot at work so that he can drive me home everyday, which is really sweet of him.

My typical day starts at 6am, where I will wake up and pump, feed Marc, feed myself, spend time chatting and playing with him, give him a wipe down and leave him on his playmat to kick and air his bottom (yes I strip him naked as I reckon its good for his skin - not very fun to wear a diaper all day, skin doesn't get to breathe!). The domestic helper takes over at about 7.45am when she arrives, after which I shower and get ready for work. In the evenings, I return to bathe him (if he hasn't yet had his bath), interact with him a little and then put him to bed. He had one growth spurt day when he woke up at 3.45am and demanded a feed, but so far he's been good and sleeps through the night except for one last feed at midnight. The Husband takes that feed and Marc is usually in a great mood then, so we'll both cuddle and talk to him before putting him back to bed.

I felt really resentful about going back to work in the initial days. I really missed Marc and wished I could be with him. I've tried to view it in a positive manner and make sure that I give him my 100% when I'm home and on weekends.

We have a great domestic helper - she's super efficient and she loves Marc, so we know he's in good hands. I was (and still is sometimes) paranoid that he will end up preferring her to me. Turns out that most of my working mum friends have the same fear. But everyone tells me that babies are smart and know who their parents are...they assure me that I will not be forgotten and Marc will still want his mummy.

For now, Marc spends lots of time with Daddy. He amazed us the other day by laughing at an episode of "Just for Laughs" - we weren't quite sure if it was random or if he understood what was going on, but his eyes were glued on the TV! He has also become a professional fish and can flip from his back to his tummy. He almost flipped off the changing table at Church the other day!

With each new phase comes new challenges! Parenthood is a real privilege and I'm grateful for the opportunity to lead and nurture another human being...