Thanks Mum

Upon reflection, I've realised how misinformed I was about motherhood before I became a mother. I know that I've always wanted to have kids and be a mother, but I really had to idea what it entailed. I now have a deeper and greater understanding of a mother's heart and this has made me appreciate my Mum a lot more.

The past few weeks has really taught me a lot about myself. I'm a real control freak and even when things are beyond your control at work, its always manageable. Handling a baby really teaches you about helplesness. The kind of helplesness that drives you to your wits end and you have no choice but to say "help me Lord" - and really mean it! This has really humbled me and taught me the true meaning of dependence. I've never really had to depend on God till now and its truly a day by day dependence for everything. I'm in constant conversation with God, although most times the conversation sounds like "please make him sleep Lord!" or "please help him burp Lord"! I'm the sort of person that wants answers - but I've learnt that sometimes, there is no answer and perhaps God doesn't want me to have the answer - at least not just yet! This is tough for a control freak, but perhaps there's no other way for me to learn these lessons unless I become a mother!

After Aunty Mei Lan left, Mum and Dad came to stay with us. Chores were split up between everyone in the house. Dad was in charge of sterilising all the bottles and feeding equipment, laundry, general hygiene and all the other "hardware" sort of things around the house. Doesn't sound like much but I guarantee you that its kept him busy enough! There's lots of laundry for a baby even if we don't use cloth nappies. Mum did everything else - the cooking, the marketing, helping me to bottle feed Marc when I'm too pooped, bathe him when I'm totally exhausted, pat him to sleep, change his diapers, etc. Handling a baby day in and day out can wear anyone's patience thin and if not for Mum, I think Marc would have been left at the local orphanage by now! She has tirelessly volunteered to help and even wakes up at night when he cries for his feeds. Thankfully, I've never made her feed him at night as yet!

Mum is a very ambitious, assertive and business-savvy type of woman. I knew she took care of me but I didn't really know what that meant till now. She never gives up on Marc, even when he's really cranky and cried for the 200th time that day. She's always willing to help and patiently plays with him and entertains him. The best part is that she's really easygoing and doesn't insist that we handle Marc in HER way, but allows us to make our own decisions as parents. I'm thankful for the many mornings that she's taken over feeding and burping Marc when I'm too tired from countless night feeds.

Both Mum and Dad return to the US on Monday and we will miss them lots!! Thanks Mum for all that you've done for me, a lot of which I haven't really understood till now. And thanks for all the help you've rendered to us in the past few weeks. Thanks for being so encouraging and telling me that I can do it as long as I've set my mind to it, which means a lot to me during moments of helplesness. Thanks for giving up the chance to eat a proper meal to take care of Marc so that I can have a proper meal. Thanks for patiently "grooming" Marc and painstakingly giving him "facials" to remove his cradle cap. Thanks for babysitting so that we can have some time alone. The fact that you and Dad managed to take care of me in my infant days without any hired help is encouragement enough for me to know that it can be done! I will miss not just the help around the house but having an adult around the house to share a decent conversation with during the day! Now we're on our own and another chapter of lessons await us in the months ahead.

Marc is growing fast and learning new things each day. He's able to army-crawl on his belly, which is amazing for a 6 week old. His arms and legs are really strong and he can flip out of your hands if your grip is not firm enough. I've dropped him several times, which didn't result in him actually hitting the ground but being suspended in mid air with whatever part of his body I still have left in my hands! His reflexes are fast and his ears are sharp, so much so that he startles at the slightest sound. He's recently started trying to converse with us and smiles lots - as long as he's full! He's still got an appetite of a monster and feels heavier each day - partly due to weight gain and partly due to arm fatigue! We're slowly getting the hang of parenthood - there's so much to learn, not just for Marc but for us!