Confinement Nanny - the Sanity Saver

When we found out we were pregnant, we decided to book a confinement nanny. For those of you who live overseas, this is probably a foreign concept. But for us lucky folks living in Asia, we can actually hire a live-in-nanny for a month. Job scope includes caring for baby and mummy, including feeding, bathing, sleeping with baby and cooking for the recuperating mummy. I started asking around for recommendations and had about 5 on my list. When I started calling them in my first trimester of pregnancy, I was horrified to discover that many were already booked! There's a joke among my group of mummy friends that you basically have to book the confinement nanny first THEN try to get pregnant, otherwise the good ones get snapped up at the word "go"! I was quite discouraged but kept asking around.

The paradox is this - most of the confinement nannies come from Malaysia. Looking after an infant 24 hours a day for a month AND cooking for the mother is no easy feat and something that most Singaporeans would shun. Because these confinement nannies are not Singaporean, technically, a work permit is required. However in practice, many of them work on a visitor pass. The standard term of work is 28 days, so to get around the rules, most will work for 14 days, then cross the causeway back into Malaysia and return again for another 14 days. After some deliberation, we decided that we would hire a nanny that is agreeable to a work permit. It costs an additional $200 but we wanted to be on the right side of the law. I also felt it would affect our Christian testimony to the nanny if we were unable to even let her work legally.

We finally found a suitable one from an ex-colleague who fit all the requirements. After a telephone discussion, where I stated very clearly that 1) I am not traditional and intend to bathe everyday and 2) I intend to breastfeed, we had a verbal agreement to book Aunty Mei Lan. She indicated on the phone that she will care for the baby, cook for the Husband and I and clean up the kitchen after cooking. If she has spare time, she'll help out with other chores. I thought this was reasonable.

When Marc arrived early, Aunty Mei Lan had already made plans to spend the weekend with her children who were visiting her from KL. The earliest she could arrive was Saturday the 15th. We agreed, but to our delight, she rang on the day of my discharge to indicate that her children had urged her to come to Singapore early begin her engagement with us as promised. Hence she managed to come on Friday the 14th and rescued us from more sleepless nights (as indicated in my earlier post).

The first thing we realised about Aunty Mei Lan is that she's super hardworking - she has cleaned our home 10 times over, packed up and organised the kitchen, created a system for baby's clothes, sterilisation of bottles, storage of bottles, etc. The Husband was very pleased. Her daily routine involves waking up at around 7-8am every morning, regardless of how little she's slept, having breakfast, thawing food for lunch, putting a round of bottles in the steriliser. Next is to bathe Marc at around 8-9pm after he's had a small feed, then making sure he's full and ready to settle for a nap. Then she's off to empty all the bins in the house, magic-wiping the floors, packing up, preparing lunch, packing the sterilised bottles, etc. She's ready again for his next feed before cooking lunch and washing up ALL the dishes. The only rest time she has is after his afternoon feed where she lies down for a little nap, and steals an hour to watch her Chinese program at 4.30pm - to which she would tend to Marc if he's hungry or fussing in between. She's up cooking dinner again in the evening and washing up, then boiling my red date and longan drink in the slow cooker overnight so I have a supply for the next day. PLUS night feeds - I diligently woke up to breastfeed him every 2-3 hours for the first 2 weeks. Aunty Mei Lan kept telling me that I would tire myself out by the time she leaves and I realised it was affecting my supply, so I've resorted to expressing my milk at night and letting her feed him from the bottle.

After waking up 2-4 times a night, she's up again and the whole routine begins. There have been times when Marc would fuss and we would have no idea what he wanted, thankfully Aunty Mei Lan is here to help. I've been fed with nutritious food, daily bought and delivered by the mother in law. One piece of good advice given by friends is to accept all help given and do not hesitate to ask for help if you need it - I couldn't agree more! I think we would have gone insane if we didn't have Aunty Mei Lan's help. As it is, I feel like a zombie everyday from the lack of sleep, if I didn't have her help, I would be totally delirious!

Now I'm starting to worry - what will I do when she leaves???? We've started to observe how she bathes the baby so that we can learn and will probably do a hands-on session whilst she's still here. I've heard many horror stories about confinement nannies who discourage breastfeeding and believe in lots of hocus pocus and old wives tales - whilst Aunty Mei Lan has her views on my daily hair-washings and drinking of plain water, she will voice them but pretty much leaves me to decide. She consults me on what she intends to cook for the day and on how often and how I want to feed my baby. In this respect, both the Husband and I agree that she's very professional and has a great work attitude. Would definitely recommend her to friends!

13 September - First Night at Home

Marc and I was discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health on Thursday, 13th September. We were taught how to clean his cord, after which he was dressed in his going home outfit and we were free to leave. I carried him in my arms down through the Gleneagles lobby, the Husband and I both beaming with pride at our new bundle of joy. As is always the case, Marc was quiet and sleepy all the way through our application for his birth certificate at the admissions counter, our payment of the final hospital bill, the car ride home and the arrival to our doorstep.

Grandma was home with the helper, already preparing our lunch and having the house all spruced up and ready for Marc's arrival. The afternoon proceeded relatively uneventfully, with us trying to figure out where to place the cot during the day and debating whether the fan was needed to keep him cool. We had dinner with the Husband's family and Marc started to fuss. He didn't seem satisfied after feeding from the breast and kept crying. We noticed that Marc's lips were dry and peeling, fearing that he was dehydrated, we started furiously sms-ing some experienced friends. They advised us to supplementing with a little formula milk, which he drank a few sips and refused to drink anymore. He managed to settle and we thought that would be the end of it.

We decided to try bathing him - it was quite a scene. Imagine 2 adults, sitting over a tub of water, with a newborn babe screaming at the top of his lungs, whilst one adult kept running in and out of the toilet to re-check the "Childcare" edition of Mrs Wong Boh Boi's books. The end result was a not-so-clean baby and 2 very harassed adults!

Then night fell. We wheeled the cot into our room and swaddled him plus added a layer of blanket to keep him warm in the airconditioned room. Within an hour, he started fussing again. Feeding from the breast didn't help. His diaper was clean. Singing to him didn't help. Carrying him didn't help. Feeding him formula milk settled him a bit, but he woke again and the cycle started all over again. Nothing seemed to work! We even tried letting him sleep between the 2 of us but that didn't work either.

By 8am, we had managed to settle him, after taking turns to wake up and tend to the crying babe whilst the other person caught some shut-eye. We were both very very tired.

When the confinement nanny finally arrived at 10am, she arrived to find a house in chaos and 2 very tired adults! Our first night at home with Marc - memorable indeed but truly a lesson that no matter how well prepared you think you are, its never the same as the real thing!

Week 38 - My Labour Story

Yes! I'm back in cyberspace after what seems like a lifetime. But I've now realised its just been a matter of 5 days! Seems like ages. I logged on to gmail today and had so many messages! Still getting through them.

I thought Week 38 would be my last week at work as I had planned. But obviously, both Pipsqueak and God had other plans.

It started on Monday, 10th of September. I had woken up, had breakfast and started putting on makeup to go to work. I used the loo and noticed some spotting. I went to the Husband and told him and he didn't think it was a big deal. I said "This is a sign that I am going into labour! We should call Dr Ang!" Still not thinking it was a big deal, the Husband agreed. I started sms-ing my colleagues to tell them that I would need to see the doctor this morning and not be in the office.

At around 9.30am I managed to get my doctor's receptionist on the line and told her about the spotting, she said she would speak to the doctor right away and get her to call me back.

My doctor rang back in about 5 minutes and after assessing my situation, advised me to make my way to the hospital labour ward for a CTG - this measures the baby's heartbeat as well as the level of contractions.

"Take your time, have a shower, have your breakfast and proceed to the Labour ward at around 11am"

We took that literally and dilly dallied till around 11.30am. Paul headed out to run a couple of errands and buy the papers, whilst I re-packed my hospital bag, took a shower, ensured I had enough snacks in the bag, etc. When we arrived and I got hooked up to the CTG machine, it was close to 12pm. We were told that the CTG would take an hour. At first we found it quite interesting to see baby's heartbeat and my contractions on the graph paper. Then my hunger set in. And oh boy was I hungry. I started harassing the Husband to ask the nurse if I could eat. When she finally came round she checked the readings and the conversation was a bit like this...

"You are having contractions and they are quite regular, do you feel them?"

"Yes, but they don't hurt." Pause "Can I eat? I'm really hungry"

(Surprised expression from Nurse) "No not yet, but let me check with the doctor and let you know"

I decided to disobey anyway and the Husband went down to delifrance to get me a tuna croissant. By the time the nurse came to tell me I could eat but that I had to wait till my doctor came to see the results before I could go home, the Husband had already returned with the sandwich and I had a few sips of Orangina. I chomped down my sandwich in a flash!

My doctor arrived a while later and explained that I was having contractions, but I was not in labour yet and my cervix was only 1cm dilated. Having a show indicates that labour is imminent but real labour could begin anywhere from the day itself to 1 week. I had a choice to stay and have my labour induced or to go home and wait it out. I chose the latter and was given 2 days medical leave. If labour didn't start by then I was ok to go to work on Wednesday. I was thoroughly confused about the contractions and double checked with the doctor that I was to return if I had contractions 5 minutes apart and that these contractions were indeed supposed to hurt. I have been having painless contractions for about a week and some are already 5 minutes apart!

We went home and the day was relatively uneventful, although I could feel the contractions and they were definitely stronger than before. After dinner, the Husband decided we should junk out and suggested we order pizza. I was quite excited at the prospect as it was a long while since I ate junk food and we figured since baby would arrive anytime, why not!



I had 2 slices and finished them faster than the Husband!

We went to bed and I was still having painless contractions, but with lots more spotting during the course of the day. At around 2.30am, I woke up with painful contractions. The pain was bearable, and they came regularly at about 10 minute intervals. The books say that 5 minute intervals is when we have to go to the hospital. So is this it? I decided to walk around the house and see how it would progress. I discovered that the pain was heightened with sitting and lying down, but walking helped. So I kept walking around the house and timing the contractions. By 4.30am I decided the contractions were regular and they did hurt enough for me to do the breathing exercises we learnt in class, so I woke the Husband. We ate a light breakfast and continued monitoring for some time. It took a bit of debating to figure out if this was for real, and when we finally decided it was, it was close to 6am. We decided to head to the hospital.

We arrived at around 6.30am and the nurse showed us to Delivery Room 7 where I was told to get into a hospital gown and lie on the bed. If anyone was not scared of labour, I think the delivery room is enough to put you off! It looks so clinical and cold. They tried to use pretty wallpaper but really, it doesn't feel that way at all! After going through lots of paperwork, I was given an enema and that was NOT COMFORTABLE at all! Feels like 2 bouts of food poisoning all at once!

I was told to lie on the bed and was hooked up to the CTG machine again. The nurse on duty was super-grumpy and when I was asked if I could walk around to ease the labour pain, the flat answer was no. Here's a pic of me looking relatively positive on the delivery bed!



The contractions started coming more regularly and they grew in intensity and pain. I was at 1cm from 7am till about 9am and whilst I kept getting contractions, my cervix was dilating very slowly. My doctor came at 9.30am and burst my waterbag and put me on a drip with Syntocin to speed up the contractions. I was offered an epidural and I asked the nurse if the contractions would hurt more with the Syntocin and the answer was very diplomatic, to the effect that different people react differently, but in a nutshell, it was a yes. I decided to wait it out and see if they got worse. By now, the husband was already massaging my lower back with each contraction and I was doing my breathing exercises. Hearing that my cervix was still 1.5cm was totally discouraging.

By 10.30am the pain was so intense and came very 3 minutes - I was only 1.5cm and to go by estimations, the cervix generally dilates 1cm every 1 hour. This meant possibly 9 more hours of pain, which would increase and not decrease! I decided to take the epidural. The Husband was finding all sorts of different means to give me by back massage without having his hand fall off when the anaesthesist finally arrived. He was very calm and after a few questions, told me to turn to my left side and curl up like a ball as much as physically possible whilst he inserted the epidural tube. It was hard to keep still when a contraction came and trying to do deep breathing at the same time. The only part that hurt was the local anasthetic to numb the back, everything else was pretty painless. When the epidural finally kicked in, it was bliss! My legs felt a bit weird and numb, but I could still move them.

By now it was almost 1pm and the Husband went downstairs to have his lunch whilst I lied down and tried to rest. A bit hard considering there are 2 large plastic disks strapped around my swollen belly, a drip connected to 2 tubes on my left hand and a blood pressure arm band around my right arm. I was also told to turn from side to side occasionally as the baby's heartbeat was a bit high.

My dilation was checked regularly and I was progressing well, by the time I hit 7cm I was very positive and decided to start wiping my face to prepare for photos after baby was out. By around 5pm I started to feel the urge to push. I told Paul to call the nurse who arrived and did one more check on me and indicated that I would be able to start pushing soon. I was prepped and stirrups were placed on the end of the bed. Several different midwives came and left the room, each trying to explain to me the pushing technique. Honestly, the Husband was WAY better than all the midwives combined. I only managed to get him out in a relatively short time with the Husband's contstant support and encouragement.

And the strange thing is - people kept calling whilst I was in labour! There were occasions when I was ready to push and needed the Husband's support and he was busy answering the phone! Can't people leave you alone when you are in labour?

After pushing with all my might for about half an hour, baby Marc entered the world at 5.29pm! My doctor was pretty impressed that the baby came out that quickly - she basically walked in, put on her boots and gown delivered the head, gave me an epistotomy, then delivered the body in one swift motion.





Thank God he is well and healthy! God certainly answers prayer and we are both doing well at home.

The Husband noticed that the delivery room was really quite a warzone after the delivery and took some pictures of the aftermath.





Here's a pic of Marc in the plastic hospital tub.


Marc was 2.56kg at birth, 48cm long and had a head diameter of 32cm. He was very fiesty and cried very loudly as soon as he emerged. I also managed to breastfeed him in the labour ward, which I was very happy about.

Will update with another post soon on our first few days at home. Its the start of an amazing journey! Thanks to all for your love, prayers and well wishes!

Latest Update

Just got back from the hospital...had a bloody show this morning so doc told me to take a shower and make my way to the hospital for a CTG. Took our time, and was hooked up to this machine for 1 hour - one measured Pipsqueak's heartbeat the other measured contractions. I was indeed having contractions, but they didn't hurt, just felt like strong Braxton hicks. Not sure what it means but the maximum contraction hit about 110.

The nurse came round and told me that I was having contractions and asked if I could feel them. My answer was "yes but they don't hurt and I'm really hungry, can I eat?" Her answer was no as I had to be examined before they could let me go. I spent the next 15 minutes harassing the poor Husband about how hungry I was. In the end he bought me a delifrance tuna sandwich from downstairs and an Orangina. I disobeyed the nurse and started sipping on my Orangina. She came back and told me that my gynae wanted to come in and check on me and that I could be taken off the machine and I could eat. HURRAY!

Was examined by my gynae who confirmed that I was only 1cm dilated, so I had the choice of either inducing labour or to go home and wait it out. Chose the latter option, would rather let nature take its course and my boss has told me numerous times that induced contractions always hurt more. Was told to return if my water bag breaks or if I get contractions every 5 minutes. But this is the confusing part - how am I supposed to know if my contractions are 5 minutes apart, when I'm already having them and they don't hurt? I asked the midwife and my gynae if my contractions should hurt before I come in and they both said yes.

According to my gynae, I could be in this pre-labour state for as long as a week, so I could deliver tonight or I could deliver next week! In any case, i was given 2 days medical leave to rest at home. Let's wait and see what happens!

Week 37 - Intense Braxton Hicks

As the song goes "anyday now...", that's kinda how Week 37 feels like. At the last checkup, Pipsqueak grew again and is now about 2.6kg. Doc says he's not a fat baby which is good for me. The only bad news this week is that I tested positive for Strep B - its a kind of bacteria that lives in the birth canal and my reading tells me that between 16-40% of women have it, but have no symptoms whatsoever. Its not harmful to me, but if I deliver naturally, baby may be exposed to the bacteria and develop illnesses like Meningitis and Pneumonia. So I've been put on a course of antibiotics and will be given an injection when I go into labour to minimise the infection to Pipsqueak. I didn't realise it was SO common until I chatted with a few colleagues who had the same infection when they were pregnant.

My Braxton Hicks contractions have been getting more and more intense, it kept me awake one night and is starting to feel more uncomfortable. The worst is having a Braxton Hicks in the car - and the car goes over a bumpy road or speed hump! Oh my, does it hurt! Its a strange sensation, my entire belly tightens and becomes very hard. Amazing how God created our human body to even have test run contractions before the real thing! I hope I'll be able to tell the real contractions when they come! I am still optimistic about trying for a natural labour without an epidural and some friends think I'm crazy, but I'll give it a go anyway!

The Husband and I have finally gotten off our lazy bums and done our hospital pre-admission. Involves going to the admissions counter and getting some paperwork done, so that when I arrive in labour, I go straight up to the labour ward. The Husband has got his labour plan ready - I can't remember the acronym he's come up with the remind himself what to do, but my main concern is getting the hospital bag ready. And strangely enough, I keep adding food to the bag. I have the greatest phobia of waking up hungry in the middle of the night in the hospital and having nothing to eat by Milo and biscuits! So I've packed Mcvities and recently bought some nice Japanese chocolate biscuits too.

I've been getting lots of pampering at home. My parents are enroute to Melbourne and Dad has been giving me lots of food massages and Mum has been cooking up a storm. Dad's a super ironer as well so my clothes are all well ironed this week! The Husband tucks me into bed at night and helps me get into bed (yes its even hard to get in and out of bed!). He's also my fitness instructor - the gynae has been encouraging me to do squats, as the lower Pipsqueak's head is, the easier and shorter my labour. So we walk up the stairs to the car park in the morning to keep my stamina up and do squats at night to push Pipsqueak's head down! But to me, the best form of exercise is retail therapy! I've been sneaking in lots of shopping during lunchtime - my rationale is that it won't be so easy for me to get out and shop after baby arrives, so better do it now!

Week 38 will be my last week at work. I've been praying that Pipsqueak won't arrive too early so that I will have enough leave to tide over Christmas, and he's been pretty good so far I must say. Let's see how this week pans out!

Week 36 - Pipsqueak is 2.4kg!

We had our 36 week checkup and Pipsqueak's estimated weight is about 2.4kg. Doc says this is a good weight for my frame and if he's just below 3kg at full term, it would be just nice. He's gaining weight steadily, which is good too, as most babies stop putting on much weight towards the last few weeks. His head is down in my pelvis, but could be lower, so I was taught to do squats to push his head lower for an easier labour. She also recommended me to walk more and especially walking up flights of stairs at it improves stamina for labour. If you can imagine carrying around a very large watermelon at your belly and having it wrapped in your own skin, such that its pulling forward and downwards, the strain on your back is immense! Walking up stairs is no joke...plus with the baby's head so low, the pressure in the pelvis is incredible...I sometimes feel like my entire pelvis is about the fall out between my legs!

The pelvic and pubic bone pain has eased somewhat, so I'm able to walk a bit more freely now. It still hurts when I lie down on my back and left side.

Everyone is placing bets as to when I will pop - most are placed around the 14, 15, 16 & 17 of Sept period.

We had an office party on Friday and my colleagues were concerned that I would go into early labour with all the excitement. Since I had my checkup on Friday my gynae assured me that my cervix was still closed and nowhere near dilating, so I made it through the night without any dramas. Although I couldn't join in the fun, I did manage to join in the song "YMCA" whilst sitting on a chair...Pipsqueak was quite excited with all the music and talking...and I felt a bit like the Chinese pot-bellied buddha, with lots of people rubbing my tummy. Apparently its good luck to rub a pregnant woman's belly!

Most of my maternity tops are at maximum stretch - if a very young child were to walk underneath my shirts they would see some part of my exposed belly as there's just not enough fabric left! I'm also starting to get Braxton Hicks contractions, or at least that's what I think they are. I get them most in the evenings, they are relatively painless, but my entire belly hardens and becomes squarish in shape. There is also a slight shooting pain from the lower abdomen area and breathing becomes a bit harder.

Whatever the case, the end is in sight! 4 more weeks at the most...so I'm hanging in there by God's grace!