Baby Waves & Other Adventures

The close of one chapter...the start of another

2008-11-25T22:29:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking long and hard how to migrate Babywaves to the new Baby Wishes blog. And I think the easiest way is to let Baby Waves remain and to use Baby Wishes for all my new entries.

What is Baby Wishes all about - well you'll just have to log in and find out! Its a little project among friends and I hope you'll support us. In nutshell, Baby Wishes is every parent and baby's dream come true. You log in, create a wishlist of items you would like to receive, and send the wishlist to all your friends, who will know exactly what you want and nobody is left guessing, circling the shops like vultures, only to return with a useless or duplicated gift. Of course, you are welcome to buy from us even if you are not an expectant parent. Do spread the word and please give us your feedback, we love to hear from you.

This project has been really fun and taught us many things. We hope you like our site as well as Our Blog!

Please visit http://www.babywishes.com.sg/Blog/ from now onwards to read about Marc's adventures...

Project in the Pipelines

2008-11-09T23:17:00.001+08:00

Sorry everyone! I haven't forgotten to update my blog, but my little project has been keeping me busy. I will update everyone shortly as my blog will be moving to a new website. Stay tuned for more details!

I've turned 30!

2008-10-07T23:59:00.003+08:00

Here's a pic of Marc walking around with my birthday balloon....

Yes He's Turned ONE!

2008-09-13T23:34:00.002+08:00

The creature has turned ONE! We've survived our first year as parents!! Thank God for his mercies and protection!

Marc gets a weekly bruise on the forehead now - either from a fall or knocking his head on the floor from crawling too fast, etc. He's able to walk 5-6 steps before falling, then getting up again and continuing. Sometimes when he's in the mood for speed, he prefers to crawl. We brought him to RP where the Husband teaches and the campus is amazingly huge (one incentive to move to Woodlands). There are nice water features and lots and lots of space! So Marc crawled to his heart's content on the carpeted floor. And because it was carpeted, we didn't have to clean his drool! hahah!!

He's a determined boy. When he wants to go somewhere or touch something - he doesn't give up. He insisted on touching a rubbish bin yesterday and we removed him at least 10 times - he just went right back to it. Same thing today at our neighbours house. He insisted on crawling to the laundry area - and I don't let him to there because of all the washing detergents and other poisons. But he kept crawling back. I foresee discipline can be a problem! He's not afraid of me at all - probably cos I miss him so much that I give in to him most times. The only effective disciplinarian so far is the Husband. Well, grandpa says at least he's afraid of someone.

Talking about the Husband - he LOVES daddy! He looks at daddy's picture on the computer screen and goes "deh deh deh deh"....when he gets in the car he goes "deh deh deh deh" - probably cos he knows Daddy does the driving. And he still gets me mixed up with food..."mum mum" = food, "ma ma" = mummy. I hear mum mum everyday...I think I haven't heard ma ma in a week.

And he's DEFINITELY a Type A personality. He's forever on the go, either exploring something, or going somewhere - he HATES to sleep. Putting him to bed is what he hates most everyday and he literally needs to be forced...he can crawl himself to exhaustion and he won't stop. And he doesn't "space out" - we get comments that he's very proud and serious - he looks that way when people talk to him cos he's just not interested...so he looks away at you or ignores you, but he doesn't actually stare into space and think. I've seen many babies space out whilst riding in their strollers, or in their parents arms. I don't think I've seen him space out once this entire year - even when he was a newborn! This boy is gonna be a workaholic.

His favourite game is Peekaboo. Any variation thrills him. I hide under a blanket and he pulls it off and when I shout peekaboo - he screams in excitement. Today we just played Peekaboo with the laundry basket. He's getting louder each day - either humming strange tunes, or walking around the house going "ah ah ah ah"...and lately going "ga ga ga ga"....he can make a funny face by squinting his eyes together, although he rarely does so on cue. I realise that he hates to be forced to do anything and doesn't "perform" like other kids. Maybe he's not at that stage yet.

I'm still waiting for him to learn to clap. I'll definitely upload a post when he does.

Accident Prone

2008-08-28T22:47:00.002+08:00

With increasing mobility comes an exponential increase in accidents! The most drama one to date is Daddy and the Fan.

I came home from work one day to find The Husband's knee and the Fan both bandaged. Apparently Marc crawled so quickly that he dragged the fan's cord along with him. The fan tipped over and just like slow motion, The Husband saw it topple. He ran as fast as he could to catch it and got it just as it was about to land, which meant that his knee bashed the edge of the fan at an angle. As a result both the Fan and The Husband got injured. And the kid sat on the floor oblivious to the unfolding drama around him.

Of late Marc has also been knocking into lots of things. He gets a weekly bruise on the head. He recently discovered that he can make noises by knocking his head on the wall, so he does taps his forehead lightly repeatedly to hear the "tok" sound!

Whilst this stage of his development is EXTREMELY tiring, its also a time of great adventure and learning. I've recently read a book about teaching babies to read. The amazing this is that apparently babies can learn to read by recognising words. The problem is we print words too small so their immature visual pathways cannot distinguish the words. The reading program involves flashing different words for a few seconds each day. We started on it a couple of weeks back but its so hard to continue when I'm not around all the time. He loves flash cards though, he can sit through repeated rounds of alphabets and screams for more. He will only sit through it if we flash through the cards fast enough - otherwise he gets bored and crawls away.

He can take a few unassisted steps. He used to like us to hold his hands and help him to walk but he pushes all helping hands away now. He can wave properly, but I'm still waiting for him to learn to clap. His latest tricks include shaking his head vigorously from side to side when he doesn't want something. He can raise both hands in the air which we call "Hallelujah". And he loves to play with saliva...

And I realise now that all the things we thought were odd in Marc are perfectly normal! His new buddy, Ollie does the same thing so I'm assured that either both of them are very odd, or perfectly normal. I'd like to think its the latter.

We visited an indoor playground today called Fidgets. The place is full of expat mummies with their kids, and most were much older than Ollie and Marc, so we had to supervise them quite a fair bit. What I like about the place is that its entirely padded - so even if they fall its cushioned. It was pretty crowded for a weekday afternoon. But they have a nice cafe area and everything is very child friendly. I think its ideal if your child knows how to walk steadily, because all the adults were totally tired out at the end of the visit from having to block falls and prevent accidents!

Discipline is also a difficult issue to tackle. Every parent has their own methods and Marc's is not easy to handle. So far, the only person he listens to is Daddy. When he's naughty and I attempt to discipline him, I get no reaction whatsoever. Its hard for me to discipline him, because I feel I miss out so much of time with him already, so on weekends I usually let him have his way. I only put my foot down when he's doing something downright dangerous or being very rebellious. I still give him the benefit of the doubt most times and assume that he's cranky and tired, hence the bad behaviour...I just hope he doesn't grow up to be an indulgent brat!

He's turning 11 months!

2008-08-06T23:17:00.002+08:00

Apologies to all for the late post...my little website project is keeping me busy. :) Will update you all soon enough!

Marc has a new buddy called Ollie who lives just at the block next door. Ollie is a month older than Marc and very alike. They both love to eat cardboard and stress balls, crawl all over the place (Ollie recently learnt to walk) and drool like crazy. We are hoping to organise another playdate among neighbours soon. We have about 5 babies around the same age - which can spell disaster!

He recently came down with a fever recently - we are not sure if it was teething or a stomach bug but thankfully he recovered within the day. His first bout of fever since birth, thank God for his good health thus far.

Trying to figure out how to discipline and train Marc is getting to be a challenge. He throws everything onto the floor when he's unhappy, yells when food is not fed fast enough, screams when he wants to get out of his seat, etc. When it comes to danger, we make it clear to him that its a "no" and remove him straightaway. Other times, its hard to figure out if he's frustrated because no one understands what he wants or if he's just throwing a tantrum. He's learnt to shake his head recently to say no or raise an objection.

Marc has only recently learnt to wave bye bye - a very feeble bye bye at that! He still can't clap and I'm starting to think he's going to be one of those non-compliant-refuse-to-follow-the-crowd kind of person! But Ollie's mum assures me that Ollie only clapped and waved at 11 months, so perhaps its a boy thing!

I've planned Marc's 1 year old party, which will be a buffet lunch among family at Carousel - they have a wide spread and great food for a reasonable price. I love the seafood! I've also taken leave for a couple of days to spend time with Marc...probably take him out which he loves!

Teeth = Trouble

2008-07-21T23:04:00.002+08:00

Its been AGES since I've written a decent post. Been busy with lots of stuff. Am working on a little online business with 2 other friends - stay tuned for our launch! Plus the kid is keeping me really busy and very tired. He's at the crawling-trying-to-walk stage and he's really a walking disaster. He will chase us from room to room, with his knees squeaking as it rubs against the tiled floor and a trail of drool all over the place. Which is super dangerous by the way as our tiles are smooth so they become a slippery slidy hazard.

Just on Saturday, I gave him a board book to keep him entertained in the car. Which he decided to gnaw on. The next thing I knew, I found a portion of the book missing, only to realise to my horror that it was in his mouth! Conversation went like this:

Me: Dear! Marc has eaten his book! There's cardboard in his mouth!
Hubby: Just use your finger to dig it out!
Me: But my hands are not clean!
Hubby: It doesn't matter, just stick it in!
Me: *hesitation...dig dig*
Marc: *screams at mummy*
Me: I can't find it! *dig dig*
Marc: *screams louder*
Hubby: Have you found it?
Me: No! I can't find it!
Marc: *screams at top of lungs* *opens mouth wide cos of screaming* *cardboard peeks out from one of his 6 teeth*
Me: I found it! *already half deaf from being screamed at*

It was quite an experience I must say...so for the record, Marc has officially eaten:
1) Sponge from a stressball
2) Cardboard
Not bad for a 10 month old.

It was our helper's day off yesterday and the Husband and I were totally exhausted. Marc just refused to sleep, and he's been doing that every Sunday for the past few weeks. He's just so excited that Mummy and Daddy are around all day so he goes hyper. Which means we are very...NOT hyper. After juggling Marc, plus dinner, and HIS dinner (which has to be specially cooked cos he can't eat our food yet), I slept at 9.30pm and still woke up tired! We decided that this kid needs to go to childcare, or some form of play school that gets him to expend his energy. We're thinking of sending him when he turns 2...but he's only 10 months old and every weekend I feel like I'm doing night feeds all over again!

Marc has a new friend called Oliver who lives at the next block. I've been going to the playground with Marc every morning before I go to work and I bumped into a trendy mummy with her son that looked around Marc's age, so we chatted and made friends. Oli was born on National Day, so he's a month older than Marc. A sweet boy that loves to shout at birds and in many ways very alike with Marc. Its nice to have a fellow mummy with a baby boy Marc's age in the neighbourhood.

I have a business trip coming up in August which I'm not looking forward to. I knew the day would come sooner or later. I'm thankful for understanding bosses that have allowed me to avoid trips thus far and only scheduled them when absolutely necessary. My longest time away from Marc was Bangkok, which was a 3 day 2 night stint. This is for the same period of time...it felt like forever last time but I will be kept busy with meetings so I'm sure it will whizz by.

Marc has been sleeping through the night for about a month now. He occasionally wakes up screaming at 10 or 11pm, but he usually doesn't require intervention to fall asleep, except when he's overtired. We still feed him at midnight and give him a diaper change so that he's nice and dry. But its much better than before. I attribute it partly to the sleep training and partly to the passing of another phase.

As for the pictures in today's post - I got bored and decided to dress him up for photos again. The last pic was taken on Saturday - Marc ate so much his jeans had to be loosed and unzipped. Not even a year old and already with a pot belly and acting like a redneck! Sigh...I wonder what will become of him!

Marc playing

2008-06-29T23:23:00.002+08:00

Decided to upload some pictures of Marc playing...he loves climbing up and down and crawling all over the place, then standing for as long as he can before tumbling down again.

And I've started calling him Mr Moo. He loves every dairy product I've fed him, milk, yoghurt and recently cheddar cheese. He wiped his entire tray clean of the shredded cheese today! We need to move back to Australia or somewhere with cheap dairy products. Or maybe we should live on a farm...

Dear Marc..From Mummy

2008-06-21T22:26:00.003+08:00

Dear Marc,

Its been some time since Mummy has written you a letter. The thought of leaving you jogged me again when I saw images of the recent Sichuan earthquake. Many perished and I was moved by stories of babies and children losing their lives, and even more moved by stories of parents and mummies who shielded their babies from danger.

You waved bye bye for the first time last Sunday! Mummy and Daddy were so excited...and Mummy was even more excited that she was around to witness it! By my calculations, I spend a good 10.5 hours away from you during working days. Which means Mummy misses out a whole lot on your life...2 days on the weekends barely makes up for it. I don't suppose you'll really understand how Mummy feels for a long while yet (and even when you become a Daddy, I can assure you Daddies don't feel the same way Mummies do)...so every milestone that is shared is so precious.

Mummy enjoyed being around you 24 hours a day during Church camp. You are full of laughter and you are so active! I'll place my bets on you being a good rugby player next time. Why?
1) You're tall for your age (90th percentile) and fairly heavy (70th percentile)
2) You are SO ROUGH. Knocking your head on walls, headboards and tables are part and parcel of your daily routine. It doesn't seem to bother you much.
3) You have a high pain threshold (see point 2 above)
4) You are so persistent. When you want something, you will not give up till you get it.
5) You have a really strong grip. Even Daddy struggles to pull you free from whatever you are grabbing onto.
I think rugby will suit you just fine. But we should really get some health insurance for your many falls and broken bones.

And you just love MEAT. I know fish doesn't suit your palette, but fish is good for your brains! Daddy is worried that you will become like Mummy - a real foodie who has a preference for good food. :) What can I say, you inherited my good genes! Your all time favourite food is yoghurt. Second comes beef. Third is chicken. Mummy is trying to expand your exposure to different kinds of food. You will try kiwi fruit next.

Based on Mummy's expert assessment (ahem ahem) you are ahead in terms of gross motor skills. You're already cruising and standing quite steadily for a few seconds without support. But the only word you can say is "Ma Ma Ma Ma Mum Mum Mum Mum". At first we thought you were referring to food. But you say that even after food! Then I thought you were referring to me. But you're not always placated after I respond to your calls. So my guess is you're a bit behind on the vocab department. But you'll catch up. :) You've recently learnt how to imitate Mummy's "brr brr" sound, a sound I make with my lips to entertain you when you're bored. The only thing is you end up spitting on everyone and everything in the vicinity...which can be a bit gross...

Mummy is thrilled that you love to spend time with her when she's around. Its amazing how you even know that I'm your Mummy, from the little that you see of me each day. Mummy's prayer for you is to be close to both Mummy and Daddy, to always share with us what's on your mind. We'll try our best to never be judgemental and to allow you to learn and make your own decisions. Most of all, Mummy's prayer is for you to trust in Jesus and love Him! Parents, friends, riches and fame will all fade away - but God is your constant friend and guide.

Till the next letter - love, hugs and kisses, from your biggest fan...Mummy!

9 months already!

2008-06-11T21:55:00.002+08:00

I can't believe how quickly time flies. Marc is 9 months old today! Just not too long ago I was sitting at the same laptop, with a considerable distance away from the laptop cos my belly was in the way. Now my boisterous 9-month old sleeps peacefully in his cot...

Talking about sleep, Marc's not been sleeping very well. He wakes up at odd times crying....we've tried letting him cry it out and it helps to a certain extent, but its been dragging on for some time and he hasn't been completely "cured".

We brought him to Church camp and he enjoyed himself. The sleep was lousy, he ended up sleeping with me in my bed which meant neither of us had any decent sleep. But I couldn't possibly use the cry it out technique lest the other hotel guests complain. He swam in the hotel pool, decked out in his surfer dude outfit, sunnies and a cool mushroom float. He didn't like it much, and it didn't help that he was tired and due for his milk at the time. Will have to try again another time.

He was also the centre of attention at playgroup, where he got to sit on the laps of many teenage girls. My parents in law were a great help and I managed to sit down and eat my meals in peace cos they took turns to feed and entertain him.

Marc's able to stand on his own momentarily. He crawls well and is also starting to "cruise" - basically walk around whilst holding onto furniture. His mobility is beyond the benchmark for his age group, but he's slow in other areas like speaking and hand actions (waving bye bye, etc). The Husband says its normal cos Marc's a jock. He's interested in doing things rather than communicating. I suspect he speaks from experience. :)

In 3 months time he'll turn 1!!! Amazing how quickly they grow...

Cool Sunnies

2008-05-25T22:52:00.002+08:00

Yes the Husband is back from his trip and with a bag load of stuff for Marc! See his latest accessory - sunglasses! Realised we should have removed the "shatterproof" sticker AFTER we took the photo, but oh well, its cute anyway. He didn't pull the sunnies off, which surprised us. He went around Church with his sunnies for quite a long while. I asked for the Husband to buy a new wetsuit for Marc and he came back with board shorts and a surfer tee. SO COOL! Will upload pics of him in his new swim gear when we go to Church camp next week.

A Taste of Single Parenthood

2008-05-19T22:58:00.003+08:00

Its been 9 days since the Husband left for his business trip and I'm still alive! I have to say my helper has indeed been a great help and I wouldn't have been able to balance it all without her.

After the Husband left last Saturday, I was left with nothing to do - a very bored mummy means a very bored baby which means restlessness. So I planned lots of activities this long weekend. On Saturday, Marc and I headed for Botanics with E and her 2 girls. I think E and I had more fun chatting than the kids. Marc was hot and bothered by the time we left! Brought Marc to a colleague's dinner and he had a ball swishing his feet in the pool and interacting with my colleagues and some other kids at the party.

On Sunday we went to Church as usual and enjoyed a pasta dinner thanks to my sister in law and her boyfriend. Headed out to Botanics again this morning with W and her son. The boys hated the heat and we retreated to Venezia at Guthrie house. The minute we stepped into the aircon, the boys were happy and chattering away. We lamented that Singapore is just not outing-friendly, the heat is terrible and we are forced to retreat to aircon malls and buildings.

Marc has been having sleep problems lately, which has left me quite troubled. To sleep train or not to sleep train him? He wakes up periodically in the night crying...he usually settles after we pop the pacifier in his mouth. Some of my friends tell me to let him cry it out or he will never learn to settle himself back to sleep. I'm trying to eliminate other possibilities, like teething, hunger, discomfort, etc. Its not an easy decision to allow your child to cry. In densely populated Singapore, one of the biggest deterrents are the neighbours! Marc is really loud and I'm sure the neighbours would call the police if I let him cry for more than half an hour.

As he grows older and more aware, he's so much fun to be around with. Just today he learnt to put his head on my pillow and lie beside me whilst I make funny faces at him and do fart sounds on his tummy. He sits there and chuckles, stroking my face. He even plopped his wet lips on my cheek, whether its deliberate or not I'm taking it as Marc's first kiss for mummy!

Hitting the 8th month mark

2008-05-10T21:30:00.002+08:00

Marc eats a phenomenal amount. He pooed a total of SIX times today - that's normal for a newborn, he's not a newborn though! He's starting to become more expressive and more affectionate. He'll touch the faces of family members that he recognises and puts his hand on your arm and grabs you if he wants you to come over. When he sees food, he stretches out both his arms and yells in excitement. No one taught him that! But there's no doubt that he's my son! Like mother like son!

His sleeping habits have gone bananas as well. At one stage, he woke up at 12midnight and refused to go back to sleep. He wasn't hungry, refused his milk, and just wanted to sit on his feeding chair and play. The Husband and I were ill so we let the helper take care of him. She put him back to sleep at 3 and he kept waking up every 15 minutes. At 8am when I saw him, he was alert! He woke up at odd times for a few more days and has reverted back to his normal sleep patterns. But we can't seem to shake certain bad habits. He sometimes wakes up yelling, and only falls back to sleep after his pacifier is popped back into his mouth. Other times he yells and falls back to sleep on his own. I'm tempted to start some form of sleep training on him, but I don't have the guts to let him cry it out.

He's also able to crawl and pull onto things around him for support when standing. And he moves fast!! He's had a total of 2 falls already. The recent one resulting on him landing on the tiled floor - thankfully his bumbo seat was still attached to his bum when he landed and it broke his fall.

And he's VERY ROUGH. When I play with him, I always end up tired and secretly asking God to make sure my next child is a girl. He loves being thrown in the air, wrestled, or anything remotely like rugby. I can't get him to settle to read a book. But he will sit down and watch Baby Einstein for a good half hour. And he won't just watch, he'll watch and burst out laughing! Its quite hilarious observing him. I notice that the particular segment that he likes is when the Crayola crayons start dancing and drawing shapes.

Thank God for a good helper. I've learnt to let go and not let the jealousy get to me. Now that Marc is more expressive, he shows his excitement when he sees me. I make sure that I'm the one comforting him after a fall and at times when he's fretful, he is only comforted when I carry him. He loves my helper and vice versa, I count it a blessing because I know she won't hurt him and takes care of him out of genuine concern. I think its good for young kids to form attachments and have the security of knowing he can rely on adults around him to give him unconditional love. I still miss him heaps when I'm at work and I try to give him my undivided attention when I'm home.

And he's said his first word - no prizes for guessing what it is. "Mum Mum", which unfortunately doesn't mean mummy - it means food!

The end of a momentous journey

2008-04-27T14:22:00.002+08:00

Marc's coming to 8 months old and I'm thankful I've managed to continue to breastfeed him thus far. He's decided that he doesn't want to suckle anymore - I don't blame him, drinking from a bottle is so much easier and faster. Plus sucking on a pacifier has its benefits - he can sink his teeth right into it and the pacifier won't react. So my milk supply has been dropping steadily but surely. On the one hand, I'm looking forward to freedom again - no more lugging around my pump (which every male colleague thinks is my gym bag) and I'm free to wear anything I like (nursing bras aren't fun, trust me)...on the other hand I miss having my baby nestled close to me and being able soothe and nourish him at the same time. Its a bittersweet journey but I'm glad I persevered!

Marc's latest adventures include his first injury, jumping himself silly on the Jumperoo and flirting with secondary school girls at NTUC Finest Supermarket.

1) Injury
It was 9pm after we returned from dinner with the in-laws and Marc was drowsy and sleepy. I placed him at the foot of the mattress on our Japanese platform, turned and walked a few steps to get something from his basket...at the same time, my helper walked into the room with his sleep sack getting ready to dress him for bed. Literally - in the twinkle of an eye, he managed to fall headfirst onto the floor. Neither of us saw how it happenned, my helper lunged forward to catch him, but neither of us got there on time. The result - screaming at the top of his lungs for half an hour...after which he was so tired he fell asleep. The next day he had a small bruise above his left brow. I still can't figure out how he fell, from the position where I left him and the way that he fell. All I know is that he landed on his head.

Needless to say, I was worried all night, madly smsing my doctor friend to see if I needed to watch out for signs of concussion. She assured me that he would be perfectly fine and that her kids have fallen out of the playpen countless times.

I thought that would teach Marc not to peer over the edge of the bed and attempt to jump off. I couldn't be more wrong - he wanted to jump off again! I'm thinking he'll be into all sorts of extreme sports next time...I better start getting him an insurance policy!

2) Jumperoo
I'm convinced that by the time I return it in May - it will be damaged! (Don't tell the good folks at rent a toy.com) Marc has figured out how to jump in the Jumperoo and he jumps with all his might. The poor toy is wobbling away but he doesn't seem to care. We've resorted to making it one level higher so that he has less leeway to propel himself upwards. Now I'm worried about damaging his knees from the impact!

3) Flirting with girls
The Husband brought Marc supermarketing the other day. He was amazed - looking around at all the food from his trolley seat and attemping to grab as much as he could reach. Then he spotted 3 secondary school girls and turned to face them, yelling at them to attract their attention. They turned to look at him and started cooing at him. The Husband told Marc that he was too young for them, to which one of them replied and said "its ok, I'll wait for you!".

I've got 2 teeth!

2008-04-13T22:23:00.003+08:00

We brought the kid to the zoo yesterday. The only animals he really looked at were the zebras and the lions, probably cos there are pictures of them on his bedroom wall. He was most enthralled not by the animals but by a little Japanese girl that ran past his stroller - he almost climbed out of his stroller looking at her....sigh...its back to older women again. (at least she was pretty, he has good taste!)

He has sprouted 2 little teeth on the bottom row of his gums - very cute but also a source of amusement for him. He keeps chewing on things and using his tongue and lips to play with them. Just today, he bit me 3 times while trying to nurse him. I think I shall have to stop soon or risk drawing blood as he sprouts more teeth. We clean them with a pigeon baby tooth cleaner twice a day.

He's now able to sit without support, but he's so gung ho that he throws himself forwards and backwards, with no regard of his personal safety. What's even worse is that he's not afraid of pain. Just the other day he was crawling around on our bed when we heard a hollow knock - from the position he was in he must have knocked his head on the chest of drawers at the foot of our bed. He yelled a little, then continued thrashing around. A little while later we found a little red patch on his forehead - he didn't seem to care one bit! He's still causing us pain when he knocks into us but he doesn't seem to be fazed by it. I reckon he can play rugby when he grows up.

He likes his jumperoo. There are little toys around the jumperoo that fascinate him. hat fascinated us was how he could use his tiny fingers to spin the little wheels with such dexterity - he doesn't just use his fingers to manually spin them, he knows how to flick them with such force that they spin at maximum speed.

He is also starting to show how greedy he is...just the other day he yelled at his Aunty Eunice because she was eating in front of him - he wanted to eat her vegetarian bee hoon! I experimented with a beef stew recipe on Saturday and my helper tells me he ate half a bowl! She had to stop feeding him because she was worried he would overeat.

I'm still finding it a struggle to spend enough time with Marc. He sleeps a little later, around 8 when he's tired and 9 on a very good day. Including a short while in the morning before I leave for work, I get maybe 2 hours with him a day. I think its hard to really be close to or build a relationship with someone you see 2 hours a day. At times, I feel like I'm being drawn and quartered - pulled in many different directions, doing many things at once and not excelling at any. I think its something many working mothers struggle with. I had a conversation with the Husband and told him I worry that Marc will become a latchkey kid - we have no choice but to leave him with the helper for extended periods during the day and sometimes on weekends when we serve at our young adults ministry. The Husband thinks I'm crazy and he's far from becoming one, but I can't help worrying. Before I became a mother I thought that I would take him along to all our meetings but I've come to realise these are ideals that are not practical in reality. If I bring him along without the Helper, I have to be prepared to not participate at all in any meaningful discussions or meetings. Everyone else offers to help but it also means that they miss out on the discussion. For the rest, he serves as a distraction - not a good idea at serious meetings or prayer. Plus he still gets really cranky at nights. So we leave him at home. Which means I feel torn again, between work, motherhood and ministry. I miss him when I'm at work or at ministry meetings, but I feel guilty if I stay at home with him and don't attend these meetings. I remember feeling totally cooped up during maternity leave, but now that I'm back at work I can't wait to get home to see him. As a working Mum, you can't win!

I spoke to a colleague this week who travels a lot for work and has 3 children at home. She is from an European country, where domestic helpers are not easily available. She has a babysitter that comes in the daytime. I ask her how she manages to look after all 3 of them, cook dinner and do all the chores when she gets home. She answered saying she doesn't do it well - dinner is a half baked job and her kids miss her all the time. But we make a choice as working mothers and we have to live with it. I could see the emotions behind her eyes as she spoke to me and I shared the feeling.

I realise that even if I'm a stay at home mum and saw Marc a lot, it doesn't guarantee that he will turn out "right" - he could still be a real terror. At the end of the day, I realise that I have to trust God more, do my best, pray and leave the rest to Him. If I depend on myself, I will always lose whether I work full time or not. Life is full of choices and I just pray that I'm sensitive to that still small voice to always make the right ones.

Everyone tells me Marc is so sociable and and its nice that he doesn't mind letting anyone carry him. I tell them it makes me a very insecure mother, as he doesn't show a preference for me above everyone else! Just this week, he appeared to display a little stranger anxiety. He burst into tears after seeing me when someone unfamiliar was carrying him. The Husband teased me and said I must be pleased - its really selfish but yes, it felt good!!! Maybe he does know who is Mummy is afterall!

Cutie Pie

2008-04-06T23:18:00.004+08:00

The Husband and I love this shot, especially his cheeky smile! My Dad took this picture...

I have emerged from this weekend rather injured. I have a cut on my lip cos Marc rammed his head into my face and my lips split against my tooth. He also decided to bite me whilst breastfeeding. Yup, not fun.

His latest trick, rotating both his hands whilst keeping them extended, so he looks like he's hula dancing. Very cute.

I've rented a jumperoo for Marc since he loves jumping so much. It should arrive early this week...apparently looks like this:

I figured I might as well let him jump this heart's content and expend all his energy so that he can sleep better at night.

First No Baby Trip

2008-03-29T09:02:00.002+08:00

The Husband and I have just returned from our first holiday without Marc...Marc did cry when we left the house and I insist that its because he knew we were leaving him but the Husband thinks he just wanted to sleep. Doesn't matter, let me indulge in my fantasy. Marc was so happy with his grandparents, I don't think he even realised we were gone! All I heard was that he jumped around all day and ate a lot, pooed a lot and played again. Friends tell me that I should be grateful he's not clingy, but tell that to an insecure working mum and its cold comfort...

We were gone for a total of 3 days 2 nights to Bangkok - shopped till our feet ached, ate lots of sharks fin in hot pot and had a great spa massage. Was a good trip and probably the maximum time I could endure being away from Marc. We had such a bad experience with Tiger airways however and swore we would never fly Tiger again. Just comparing how they conduct their affairs, we've concluded they really cut corners. Whilst every other budget airline boarded and departed on time, ours was delayed, without even a notice as to how long the delay was. Thankfully it was only 2 hours, we've heard stories of overnight delays.

Marc is still crawling backwards, but he's able to stand with support, jump continously and just today - push himself from a crawling position to sitting with support on his arms. We'll have to drop the cot one level down again. He's still exhibiting very boyish traits. Not sentimental or clingy, loves to play, is very rough when he plays, eats like a pig, shouts loudly...we were out at a Chinese restaurant recently and Marc flirted with a pretty waitress. Not that he was in a good mood, he was actually fussing away but he managed to put on his sweetest smile when she came round to play with him.

We're slowly building up his culinary repetoire. He's tried carrot, pumpkin, avocado, yoghurt, sweet potato, zucchini, brown rice cereal, apples, bananas and pears. He likes them all but his favourite are the items that are sweet. I'm thankful for a very efficient helper who loves Marc to bits, so I know he's in good hands.

Carrot Face

2008-03-17T21:13:00.002+08:00

Yes - he is every bit as greedy as he looks! He LOVES his food, especially pumpkin and sweet potato.

Busy week for me leading up to Easter. Going away for a couple weekend with the Husband for 3 days 2 nights. He's convinced I will miss Marc so much that I'll cry all the way to the airport. I denied it all the way and said I will be fine. I'm not so sure now....!!!

The 6 month mark for Marc!

2008-03-10T21:37:00.002+08:00

You are 6 months old tomorrow Bubbles! I've decided to write a blog entry addressed just to you - my baby who won't be a baby much longer. I got the idea from a friend of Aunty Daphne who also has a baby blog. I was inspired to finally write when I read about a Mum who chose not to abort her foetus despite having breast cancer and carried her baby to full term, only to pass away 3 months after her baby was born despite intensive chemotherapy. It made me think about what I would want to say to you after I've left this world. And I realise there's lots....but God willing, Mummy will still have lots of time left to be with you. Yet each day of life is a gift from God - if today were my last I would want to leave with no regrets.

With each month that passes you are growing and learning more. The past month saw you eating solids. And after you figured out how to swallow, you can't eat fast enough! Daddy knew for certain that you were my child after an incident on Sunday. Ah Gong and Ah Mah put on a Baby Einstein DVD for you to watch. You were so engrossed until it came to a portion which showed a baby eating cereal. You started hyperventilating and yelling till you were fed your cereal. That's the same reaction Mummy has watching Japan Hour!!! You have the genes to become a true foodie my son! Keep it up! So far you've tried carrots, avocadoes and pumpkin along with plain rice cereal - and you like them all!

You've also started to become very demanding. You yell to be carried, to be fed, to be shifted and to be entertained. Daddy and Mummy love you very much, which is why we have to train and discipline you when you are out of line. This hurts us very much, yet it will be much worse if we didn't do anything about it. So we let you yell till you realise it doesn't get you things. Unfortunately not everyone is very consistent in this approach, I'm guilty of this myself. I'm worried you'll grow up to be a spoilt brat.

Your strength grows with each day. You've started INJURING your parents. Yes Daddy was boxed in the eye by you the other day and thought how embarassing it would be if he had to go see a doctor and explain to them he got beaten up by his 6 month old baby. You've scratched Mummy countless times and I'm short of being covered in bruises. We're convinced you can be a really good rugby player next time! Where did you get your strong genes from?

And we know you like taking pictures - we didn't realise how much till recently. You smile with your mouth wide open with each shot - just like in this post! We were so amazed. Maybe we should send you for child modelling so that we can earn some money. :)

Time flies and you still show no attachment preferences to anyone. Whoever is happy to strain their arms and carry you around the place is good enough for you. You seem to exhibit very male traits, and I think its a good thing for you to not be too clingy. Which makes Mummy feel really insecure at times!

Your preference for girls (and not just any girl but PRETTY girls) is still consistent. So you like food and you like women. Mummy thinks you will like Italy. :)

I'll dedicate more posts to you in the future. Parting thoughts from Mummy - remember to always be a gentleman, give up your seat to those who need it when travelling on public transport, offer to carry bags and other heavy items for female and elderly friends/family members and always be grateful for what God has blessed you with, no matter how miserable your lots seems to be. :) Mummy loves you more than she ever thought she could love another human being and misses you a whole lot when she's away from you. You've given Mummy a whole new meaning to life and she wouldn't trade the sleepless nights, mastitis, lack of free time (not to mention less shopping money!) for anything else. Till my next post, sweet dreams my little one!

Messy Weekend

2008-02-25T00:02:00.002+08:00

This weekend was cereal ceremony weekend. It was a riot! We had it all planned. Plastic bib - check. Plastic bowl - check. Baby spoon - check. Baby rice cereal - check. After placing him on the bumbo we made him wear his plastic bib. The Husband was eagerly filming every move. First hiccup. The kid was more interested in the bib than the cereal and started eating the bib. So I removed the bib.

Then we tried again. He happily opened his mouth for the cereal. But he stuck out his tongue and most of it came out. We tried again and same thing happenned, this time he had a funny expression on this face and a little frown. Methinks he doesn't like it! This went on a few times, most of the cereal ending up all over his naked chest and belly. He did enjoy it though and started banging his bumbo seat. He flung his arms so much the entire bowl of cereal ended on the floor, half of it landed on me, half on him.

We'll keep trying. :) We all had a good laugh and enjoyed this milestone.

Milestone Ahead!

2008-02-18T20:11:00.002+08:00

This was a wonderful weekend. Whilst playing with Marc on our bed, he reached out and touched my face several times. The feeling is great - its like falling in love all over again, with my own baby! He was extremely amused by some trick I was doing (I can't even remember what it was now) but he reached out and touched by left cheek a few times. The Husband says Marc has never done it to him. The Husband is really sweet, he takes every opportunity to use what Marc does to remind me that Marc's doing it cos he loves his mummy. Whether its true or not, its nice to believe in it so I'll take it at face value.

Marc stuck his hand into my dinner last night. I was nursing him whilst eating and he was so distracted with my spaghetti bolognaise he slammed his entire hand into the plate. He also made chewing motions whilst watching us have dinner. I think he's ready for solids. He's seemed to lose interest in milk and is drinking less than before. So the Husband and I decided that we shall start him on rice cereal this week. Stay tuned for more adventures!

I read a funny article today about Idle Parenting. I've extracted it for your reading pleasure. It sounds a little absurd but it bears some truth in it. I remember making up lots of my own games when I was young and having unstructured play with neighbours, pretending we were radio deejays, travel agents, explorers and the like. I would like Marc to have that kind of childhood rather than to sit in front of a computer screen all day playing computer games or running from class to class.

The Telegragh

Idle parenting means happy children

Cancel all clubs, ditch the after-school activities and leave those kids alone, urges Tom Hodgkinson

An unhealthy dose of the work ethic is threatening to wreck childhood. Under a tyrannical work-obsessed government, years that should be devoted to play and joyful learning are being stifled by targets and tests. Leisure time is being invaded by the commercial and escapist virtual worlds of the computer.

Pushy parents don't help by making childhood a stress-filled time of striving and competing.

Our children's days are crammed full with activities: ballet, judo, tennis, piano, sport, art projects. At home they are entertained by giant screens and computers. In between, they are strapped into cars and made to listen to educational tapes. Ambitious mothers force hours of homework on bewildered 10-year-olds, hanging the abstract fear of "future employers" over their heads.

Then they buy them a Nintendo Wii, the absurd, costly gadget that's supposed to bring some element of physicality to computer games. It's only a matter of time before children have their own BlackBerrys.

I think of the New Yorker cartoon of two kids in a playground, each staring at a personal organiser and one saying: "I can fit you in for unscheduled play next Thursday at four." All these activities impose a huge burden of cost and time on the already harried parent. They leave no room for simply mucking about. They have the other unwelcome side effect of making the children incapable of looking after themselves. When they are stimulated by outside agencies, whether that be course leader, computer or television, they lose the ability to create their own games. They forget how to play.

I recall when our eldest child, a victim of chronic over-stimulation by his anxious parents, screamed "I need some entertainment!" during a bored moment. A chilling comment, particularly from a five-year-old. What now? What next? These are the questions our hyper-stimulated kids will ask. What has happened to their own imagination?

There is a way out of this over-zealous parenting trap, a simple solution that will make your life easier and cheaper. It will make your kids' lives more enjoyable and also will help to produce happy, self-sufficient children, who can create their own lives without depending on a Mummy substitute. I call it idle parenting and our mantra is: "Leave them alone."

The welcome discovery that a lazy parent is a good parent took root when I read the following passage from a DH Lawrence essay, Education of the People, published in 1918: "How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning."

To the busy modern parent, this idea seems counter-intuitive. Aren't we always told to do more, not less? All parents have a nagging sense that somehow we are doing it all wrong and that more work needs to be done. But the problem is that we put too much work into parenting, not too little. By interfering a lot, we are not letting children grow up and learn themselves. The child who has been overprotected will not know how to look after himself. We are too much in children's faces. We need to retreat. Let them live.

Welcome to the school of inactive parenting. It's a win-win situation: less work for you and better for the child, both in terms of enjoying everyday life and also for self-reliance and independence. I am not advocating slobbish neglect. (Maybe I went too far with my idle parenting when I dozed off on the sofa in front of the woodburning stove, while "doing the childcare", as the ugly modern phrase has it, to be woken by the screams of a toddler who had placed his hands squarely on the hot metal and burned his fingertips.) Clearly we don't let our children jump out of windows or go about with unchanged nappies. There is carefree and there is careless, and there is a difference.

But to create a household free of care would be a wonderful thing. It has become obvious to me, watching our three children grow up, that the more they have been ignored, the better. The eldest had a surfeit of anxious parental supervision and is still the trickiest and most needy (although we're working on it). The second had a little less attention and she is more self-sufficient. The third was born on the bathroom floor and has had to get on with his own life. And he is perhaps the best of all three at playing. Certainly he is the most comical.

The great thing about children is that they like being busy. Since parents like being lazy, it makes sense for the children to do the work. This idea was partly explored in the 19th century, when children as young as five were sent into the factories. The fact that meddlesome liberals have since introduced child labour laws does not need to prevent the idle parents exploiting their own offspring.
One morning, not so long ago, V and I refused to get up. I imagine we were hung over. At about nine o'clock, the bedroom door swung open and in walked Arthur, then six, with two cups of tea. A lot can be achieved by lying in bed. Simply by doing nothing, you can train children to do useful things. During the last holiday, we found we were lying in bed till 10 or 11. By abandoning our kids, they had taught themselves how to get up, make themselves breakfast and play.

Paradoxically, the idle parent is a responsible parent because at the heart of idle parenting is a respect for the child, a trust in another human being. It is the irresponsible parent who hands the child over to various authorities for its education and care, whether that is childminders, schools, CBeebies or the virtual world of Habbo Hotel. Or it is the parent who tries to impose his own vision on the children and does not simply let them be.

Another great advantage of being idle is that it avoids causing resentment in the parent. There is nothing so corrosive or pestilent as resentment stewing in the breast. Imagine making all those sacrifices, putting yourself out for your children, going without, and then they go junkie on you. No, there is no room for martyrs in the world of the idle parent. Our happiness comes first. And that is the right way round. As a cab driver said to me the other day: "My kids are happy because we're happy." Do not suffer. Enjoy your life.

The idle parent is a stay-at-home parent. Not for us costly leisure pursuits at the weekend. We reject the cheap thrills of expensive padded plastic fun palaces, zoos and days out in general. We find fun in our own backyards. We make aeroplanes out of cereal packets and it's amazing how many catching and tickling games you can play with your kids while sitting on the sofa.

The idle parent is a thrifty parent. We don't work too hard and therefore we can't expect to be rolling in cash. With thrift comes creativity. "Waste is unpoetic, thrift is creative," as GK Chesterton wrote. With no money, you start to discover your own inner resources. You make things and draw. Put a pile of A4 paper on the kitchen table, along with a stapler, scissors, crayons and glue, and you'll be amazed at what your children come up with. Forget digital gewgaws. Go analogue. It's more fun and a lot cheaper. Put a bird feeder outside the kitchen window. Fun does not need to be expensive.

We don't care about status and career advancement and how we are perceived by others. We are free of all of that rubbish. We simply want to enjoy our lives and to give our children a happy childhood. What greater gift could there be from a parent? If our children tell their friends in later life that they enjoyed their childhood, I would count that as a great achievement. Better to have a happy childhood than a high-achieving one that brings a big psychiatrist's bill in adult life.

Idle parents are sociable. We recognise the importance of friends. They lighten the burden. A myth of modern society is the idea that "you're on your own in this world". Instead of talking to friends and neighbours, anxious people seek advice in books, websites and internet forums. We resist asking for help or admitting weakness. Be weak! Give up! You can't do everything. Lower your standards. Get friends to help you. Organise little nurseries at your house where parents can chat and kids can play while you ignore them.

I love DH Lawrence's idea of childcare. He says babies should "be given to stupid fat old women who can't be bothered with them… leave the children alone. Pitch them out into the streets or the playgrounds, and take no notice of them." Do not view them as raw material to be moulded into an obedient slave for the workplace of the future. Let them play. And yes, get your friends around. Life is so much easier when the work is shared. Friends bring laughter and joy. There's no sadder sight than the lone parent, pushing her child around the gloomy municipal park, trying to tell herself that she is having a good time.

My idea of childcare is a large field. At one side is a marquee serving local ales. This is where the parents gather. On the other side, somewhere in the distance, the children play. I don't bother them and they don't bother me. I give them as much freedom as possible.

But the life of an idle parent is not so easy. Children do not always adapt to the anti-consumerist model that the natural parent promotes. They want stuff. Children get in your face. They make a terrible mess. They scream and whine. And the mother and father seem to disagree on pretty much everything, from paint colours to mealtime manners, as a matter of marital policy.

There are more worries. Is it mean to deny a child an iPod Nano for his birthday and instead give him a ball of string and The Dangerous Book for Boys? Should I really put a broadband connection in the tree house? Should I work even harder so that they can go skiing and wear expensive trainers? Would I be less grumpy if I drank less alcohol?

Sometimes we doubt our own gospel. So over the coming weeks, I hope to outline an enjoyable parenting philosophy in Weekend, while acknowledging that it isn't always easy.

I will confess my many parenting errors. I am a disaster-prone, chaotic layabout and so should warn you not to listen to my advice. Certainly my friends say the idea of me advising other parents on childcare is absurd.

With that caveat in mind, let us go forth, throw away the rule books, forget what other people think and enjoy family life and all its joys and woes.

Manifesto of the idle parent

We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
We pledge to leave our children alone
That should mean that they leave us alone, too
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals
We drink alcohol without guilt
We reject the inner Puritan
We fill the house with music and laughter
We don't waste money on family days out and holidays
We lie in bed for as long as possible
We try not to interfere
We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
Time is more important than money
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
Down with school
We fill the house with music and merriment

Tom Hodgkinson is editor of The Idler magazine and author of the best-selling How to be Free and How to be Idle.

5 month old socialite

2008-02-13T22:05:00.003+08:00

Marc is 5 months old and we're quite sure he's a socialite. This is a picture of the first girl we tried to matchmake him to. She's a 3 month old baby who happenned to be at a friend's chinese new year celebration. He wasn't interested, which didn't surprise us cos he loves older women. He did however become EXTREMELY talkative during Chinese new year. After reunion dinner at the in laws place, Marc started babbling really loudly. He kept this up at the top of his voice for half an hour non stop - which really surprised us because he sleeps really early at home. He's never spent that much time among a large group people before and he loved the attention. I'm starting to wonder if perhaps he cries at home not from tiredness but from sheer boredom.

He's become a proficient flipper so he spends most of his time now flipping from the mat to the floor. We leave him there if he's not eating off it, but we really need to get a playpen or something similar soon.

He's also eating everything. He ate every red packet he received and we told our friends its his way of determining how much money it contains.

The Husband and I are contemplating going away alone for a short while as my parents will be visiting us for a few weeks. They miss Marc heaps and are more than happy to have him all to themselves. Honestly, taking time off work to NOT spend time with Marc is really painful for me. But I realise that I have to make time for the Husband and I have to make time for me. I'm the kind of person that can spend 24 hours with the Husband and not need any alone time. Same goes for spending time with Marc. But its not healthy and if the Husband and I don't go away now, it will not be easy for us to do so again. Marc will still be at home and there will be very little adjustment for him even if we left as he will be in familiar surroundings. I still intend to breastfeed so I will have to lug the pump with me and pump at my usual times, but throw away the milk that I can't store.

Marc seems almost ready to start solids. He's drooling a lot and is interested when we eat. He can almost sit on how own and is losing interest in his milk. Another big milestone to conquer!

Letting Go

2008-02-03T21:28:00.000+08:00

I made a decision today and I gingerly choose to write about in the hope that I will stick to my decision. The past one and a half months of going back to work has seen its ups and downs. I rush home everyday at 6sharp so that I can bathe Marc before he screams at 7 sharp and demands to be put to bed. But of course, its not always possible for me to make it back on time. On those days, I feel really resentful. I'm resentful that I didn't make it back on time. I'm resentful that my baby sleeps so early (who sleeps at 7 anyway?) I insist on taking care of Marc when I'm home and on weekends. Why? I'm afraid. Afraid that he'll forget his mummy. Afraid that he will prefer the domestic helper than his mummy. And I spend a lot of time worrying about it.

The Husband told me point blank the other day that I have to let it go. It started off with a conversation about letting Marc watch 30 minutes of Baby Einstein a day. I figured he might as well watch something educational and it will give the helper a good 30 minutes of free time to prepare dinner and do the chores. Whilst the Husband doesn't object, he warned me about becoming one of those pushy parents. The Husband feels that just because Marc isn't doing something "educational" doesn't mean he's not learning. He's watching his surroundings, listening to people talk, and learning all the same. He also aptly reminded me that its not the things we do that matter - its God. We have a God that's real and one that loves Marc more than I possibly can. How did I conveniently forget that? In a separate conversation where I griped about not spending enough time with Marc and how resentful I felt, the Husband said that there's no doubt that he will get attached to the domestic helper - she adores him and takes care of him from Monday to Fridays. But he told me with such conviction that there's no way Marc will forget his Mummy. I've been told that by several other friends who are parents themselves. And the Husband is right. I've got to let it go or its going to eat me up inside.

Its hard for me not to worry. In fact, I've concluded that its hard for mothers not to worry, full stop! We spend so much time worrying! Why should I worry about Marc not preferring me? Because I love him so much it would hurt me terribly? Because it would incite such jealousy in me I feel like strangling the nearest person? Because it would make me feel like a lousy mother? Yes - to all the above. But its all about me isn't it? Its so easy to get swallowed up in the here and now that we forget the big picture. Marc will grow, and he will learn, and he will go through phases. I know the road ahead is going to be full of heartache, but I'm going to trust that God knows best. He's never failed me and I know He is with me all the way.

So today at Church when it was time for the Lord's supper, I was burdened to make a decision. And I told God I'm going to let go. This doesn't mean I won't suffer a relapse. And this doesn't mean I will stop feeling resentful. But I'm going to ask God to help me and I've made a decision to let go. I'm not going to let all this negativity rob me of the unspeakable joy from each moment that I do have with Marc. And I'm not going to let this fear rob me of being grateful for the quiet moments that I do have with the Husband and to myself. There are many parents who would kill to have a baby that sleeps at 7 and I'm choosing to be content. I really do have a choice to be happy or a perpetual worrier. I'll choose the former and God help me to stick to my resolve!

On a brighter note, the little creature is learning fast. First of all, he's grown so fat the entire bumbo seat was stuck to his bum when I tried to lift him up today. He can flip several times in a row so he ends up on the floor. And lastly - he's eating everything. I examined his gums today and I can see a little bump on the top left gum - teething!! Good luck to us...he's starting to get a bit cranky and I suspect its that. Am looking forward to starting him on solids soon, although I don't think he's ready for it yet. He's also starting to show an interest in story books, so we're reading to him more. Come Chinese new year, he'll be 5 months old and his bank account will be bigger thanks to angpows!

I'm glad I'm still nursing him and I never thought I would make it this far. I remember the early days where each day that I managed to supply enough milk for him was like a huge victory. My favourite moments now are when Marc decides to suckle - not because he's hungry but because he wants to and he stops every 2 seconds to look up at me and look deep into my eyes and smile broadly, before continuing suckling happily away. They say its hard for working mums to breastfeed - it is indeed and takes loads of commitment and sacrifice, but to me, its the working mums who need to continue breastfeeding because that's the only thing a mummy can do that no one else can.

The Husband asked me if I was going to continue this lack of sleep for much longer (I still can't sleep for more than 5 hours at a stretch, if Marc sleeps through then 6 hours on a rare day but mostly I sleep 2 hours before pumping then another 4 hours before waking up in the morning). I haven't really thought about it but I do intend to continue breastfeeding for a while longer, even if I reduce my supply such that he's taking partial formula milk. To me, the fact that I haven't actually fallen ill from the fatigue is divine intervention! I used to need at least 8 hours in a row every night to function...what a change! But that's parenthood and that's life isn't it? Its full of exciting changes!

4 months flown by

2008-01-20T22:37:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I've made it through 4 months of motherhood. And in 4 months, I've crossed many hurdles, much more than I have in my 29 years of life! The first month was a struggle - the blues, coupled with breastfeeding woes, inadequacy and doubt over being a parent, worry about whether I was doing it right, coupled with lack of sleep and a very very hungry baby. Thankfully, God sent the confinement nanny to help and a very understanding husband.

Second month was sheer fatigue. I don't remember much besides the 3 hourly pumping sessions, endless scrubbing of bottles and pumping equipment, lots of crying and a few bright days when the Husband took me out of the house. God sent my parents who were such a blessing and an encouragment, and told me that I was doing just fine.

By the end of the second month, my parents had left and there was about 2 weeks of adjustment and hell again. But I managed to adjust, overcome the fear of going out alone with Marc and even managed to cope with the lack of sleep, taking care of Marc without any hired (or parental) help and cook dinner from scratch!

The third month was when it dawned on me that I really didn't have much time left with Marc. Once I decided to go back to work full time, every day was a mad rush to spend as much time with Marc as I could. At 3 and a half months I made the transition back to full time work. I wouldn't say that I've totally adjusted yet, but I'm getting there. Looking back on those sleep deprived, difficult early days, I really thank God for seeing me through. After speaking to a few friends, many have told me that they would not have persisted with the breastfeeding - not just because its hard, but also because I have a milk monster who doesn't feed well from the breast, hence I've been doing double work, pumping and feeding and without hired help at the time. I couldn't have done it without God's help and lots of encouragement from fellow mums.

As for breastfeeding, Marc and I have settled into a happy balance. I still pump 5 times a day, once in the morning, twice at work and twice at night when I come home. I'm really glad I persisted, since Marc is growing very well and as a working Mum, its something that brings me close to my baby. Being away from him is harder than I imagined and with the little he sees of me, breastfeeding is the one thing I can do that no one else can. Its hard not to feel possessive, especially since Marc doesn't show a preference to anyone. I still rush home like a headless chicken in the evenings so that I can bathe him and put him to bed. And I still wake at 6am daily so that I can feed him and interact with him a little before going to work. But on days when he sleeps a little later in the morning or a little earlier in the evening, my interaction with him can be a whole of 10 meaningful minutes. I still wonder how he remembers his mummy but everyone assures me he will.

I spoke to a colleague who's a fellow Mum and she agreed that a mother's heart is full of heartache and worry. I realise that I'm very blessed - I have a good domestic helper that I can trust Marc with during the day. Sure, I worry about whether he'll get too attached to her, hence I insist on spending as much time as I can with him when I'm home, down to the feeding and diaper changes. But I have friends who are not so lucky and have to put their babies in infant-care centres or with nannies during the week.

Chinese new year is round the corner and we have one thing to look forward to - re-couping our losses after 4 years of giving red packets and not getting anything back! Its a chinese tradition that cannot be avoided and those of you who are married with no kids will know what I mean...withdrawing a 4 figure sum of new notes every year with no re-coup is VERY expensive...so we're teaching the kid to put his hands together and say "gong xi gong xi". He gets the idea but we have yet to see him perform on cue.

He's now learnt to roll over both ways, which means we can't leave him in one spot and expect him to stay there. He loves to eat his fingers and he loves to watch TV. In fact, he's such an old man in a young body, he continues to surprise us. The husband and I spoke to him after one of our night feeds. He was sitting quietly on the dining table (its tiring carrying a 7kg weight and its a bit hard to have a conversation when he's on your lap) and the Husband asked him what he thought about a letter we had received. Marc actually turned around and bent forward to examine the letter - as if he could read the contents! We both burst out laughing! He loves to talk and likes it even more when people talk to him.

He's growing and learning more each day and he truly is a bundle of joy. For those of you who are thinking of having kids - don't delay for too long. Enjoy your days of couple-hood and build a strong marriage foundation, cos when the baby comes, it will rock the strongest of marriages!

For those of you who are preggers - the first couple of months are the hardest but it gets better - trust me, I know. :) I can't lie to say that you will ever sleep longer than 5 hours at a stretch for a long while (if you are breastfeeding or have a baby that just doesn't sleep through the night), or that your marriage will be the same as it was before, or that you will be able to have an uninterrupted meal ever again - but its worth it! Motherhood changes you and teaches you a lot about yourself and makes you a much stronger person if you persist through all its challenges. And I still have the rest of my life to perfect it - here's to an exciting journey ahead!

A Working Mum's Life

2008-01-09T21:54:00.000+08:00

I made it through my first 6 working days...and I'm still alive! Thank God for his mercies everyday and seeing me through thus far. Marc turns 4 months this Friday and I can't believe how he's grown. We were looking back at some of Marc's old photos and the Husband and I said - "was he ever this small???"

We've all settled into a routine for my work days and after much tears and sadness, I've managed to pull through my work days. The heartache is getting less and less everyday and I look forward to leaving work on time so that I can come back and see him. This means I try my best to be efficient at work and complete my work on time so that I can leave on the dot. My father in law has booked a car park lot at work so that he can drive me home everyday, which is really sweet of him.

My typical day starts at 6am, where I will wake up and pump, feed Marc, feed myself, spend time chatting and playing with him, give him a wipe down and leave him on his playmat to kick and air his bottom (yes I strip him naked as I reckon its good for his skin - not very fun to wear a diaper all day, skin doesn't get to breathe!). The domestic helper takes over at about 7.45am when she arrives, after which I shower and get ready for work. In the evenings, I return to bathe him (if he hasn't yet had his bath), interact with him a little and then put him to bed. He had one growth spurt day when he woke up at 3.45am and demanded a feed, but so far he's been good and sleeps through the night except for one last feed at midnight. The Husband takes that feed and Marc is usually in a great mood then, so we'll both cuddle and talk to him before putting him back to bed.

I felt really resentful about going back to work in the initial days. I really missed Marc and wished I could be with him. I've tried to view it in a positive manner and make sure that I give him my 100% when I'm home and on weekends.

We have a great domestic helper - she's super efficient and she loves Marc, so we know he's in good hands. I was (and still is sometimes) paranoid that he will end up preferring her to me. Turns out that most of my working mum friends have the same fear. But everyone tells me that babies are smart and know who their parents are...they assure me that I will not be forgotten and Marc will still want his mummy.

For now, Marc spends lots of time with Daddy. He amazed us the other day by laughing at an episode of "Just for Laughs" - we weren't quite sure if it was random or if he understood what was going on, but his eyes were glued on the TV! He has also become a professional fish and can flip from his back to his tummy. He almost flipped off the changing table at Church the other day!

With each new phase comes new challenges! Parenthood is a real privilege and I'm grateful for the opportunity to lead and nurture another human being...

Back to Work

2008-01-03T20:05:00.000+08:00

I survived my first 2 days back at work! The day before I went back to work I was teary eyed and sad in the car on the way home from prayer retreat thinking about leaving my baby at home. I was quite sad the whole day but I managed to sort out the clothes I was going to wear, pack my pumping equipment and get some rest. Marc woke up at clockwork, whining at 6am and falling back asleep to wake up at 7am. I managed to pump, have breakfast, feed him, have our morning conversation and get ready for work. It was strange hopping back on the train, jostling with everyone else with the pump on my back and my handbag + a bag of snacks.

I almost forgot which floor I was on! I spent most of the day clearing emails, opening christmas presents, snacking and pumping. My current pumping schedule is 11am and 4pm. I'm really thankful we have a nursing room at work where I can pump comfortably. My supply has dropped a little. I haven't had to use any frozen milk, but I think I will have to soon enough. I came home to see Marc during lunch - I decided to ease myself into work slowly and come back to see him for lunch during this short week. He definitely doesn't miss me but he was happy to see me when I came home. He didn't smile at me at lunch today and my theory is that he knows Daddy is the one who's going to spend more time with him now...but I could be over-sensitive as he was happy to see me again this evening.

I'm thankful for understanding bosses who are not pushing me with a lot of work. They understand that my brain hasn't quite adjusted to work yet!

Being a working mum is a whole new ball game. I've got to be very efficient with my time. I don't get to lounge around much at night, cos I have to pump, pack my funnels and wash them so that I have enough for the next day, nap before pumping again at midnight then sleeping till 5-6am. I look forward to stopping breastfeeding so that I can sleep longer stretches again. But I will miss seeing his smiling face and bright eyes looking up at me whilst he's happily chomping on his milk...

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement the past couple of days! Things will get busy at work and its going to be more challenging as work piles up. I have been able to come home on time so far to catch Marc before his 7pm bedtime and even bathe him, but I don't think this will keep up on a daily basis especially when things hot up at work.

Two more weeks

2007-12-18T09:03:00.000+08:00

I can't believe how time flies. I've got 2 more weeks left to my maternity leave. It seemed like it was ages away and would never end... every day and every minute with Marc is precious and knowing that the prospect of returning to work draws nearer, I've become more patient with him and even his difficult moments are easier to bear. I will miss him heaps and heaps when I return - thankfully I return mid week on a Wednesday after new years', so it won't seem like a whole long week to face without him. I guess returning to work is a bittersweet experience. On the one hand, I will miss sharing his milestones, watching him smile and babble to me during the day time, taking him on our daily walks to Holland Village. On the other hand, its nice to have my own time and life back and being able to have a conversation with adults will be refreshing. I'm sure it will also help me be a better mother in a way, as I will treasure each moment when I'm with him and give him more quality time. As it is, I'm usually caught up with chores and other things during the day whilst he's most alert and wakeful, so he's had to learn to play on his own.

I'm apprehensive about how I will cope with the lack of sleep though! He's a good sleeper at night - usually in bed by 7.30pm, then woken up for a feed between 12-2am (depending on when the Husband and I go to sleep) and he wakes on his own between 5.30 to 6.30am. He's a horrible sleeper during the day though, he can't nap for longer than an hour, usually 30mins or 45mins, so he gets over tired very easily. The solution we've found is to take him out - he loves going out and looking around and when I walk to Holland Village in the Baby Bjorn, it lulls him to sleep on our return leg. The solution I've found for me is for me to express milk at 8pm, nap from 10pm to 12/1am, then feed him and do a last expression for the night until he wakes up in the morning. I get through the day drowsy but I'm more or less able to handle it without a nap.

We've decided to hire a domestic helper - balancing ministry, work, family and the Husband's part time study is possible without a helper, but it means either one of us spends time on chores (and trust me, scrubbing bottles and breast pump funnels takes AGES) which means less time for the other things that matter. A domestic helper also frees us up during the day when I'm at work and when the Husband needs to be out to attend meetings, etc. In a ministry that involves people, its not unusual for emergency meetings or crises to arise. A domestic helper gives us the flexibility to be available. My in laws have been very kind to allow us to transfer their existing helper to us. She's been with them for a couple of years and is responsible and loves kids. We've started training her this week.

My greatest fear is that he will become so attached to the helper he'll forget me. My friend assures me this won't happen, if I give Marc my 101% when I'm home with him, he will know and he will not forget that I'm his mummy. My consolation is that the Husband will have more time with him so if anything, he'll become more attached to daddy, which is fine with me. The helper won't have it easy either. I've been spoiling Marc by letting him latch on to breastfeed during the day when he's fretful and it lulls him to sleep. When I'm tired I feed him lying down and we both drift into sweet sleep together. I'm not too sure how she's going to pacify him! The one thing I've tried to avoid is breastfeeding him at night so that he doesn't get into the habit and require the breast to fall asleep.

Christmas is coming up and there's just so many things to do...cherishing every minute!

Marc's First Holiday

2007-12-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

We made it! A 6 day roadtrip from Singapore to KL and Penang with a 3 month old baby. Some people thought we had lost our mind, but we prepared our checklists, packed our bags and went anyway. I fell sick with my second bout of mastitis the day before we left. I was so knocked out I had to ask my mother in law to come over to help babysit whilst I took lots of panadol, nurofen and antibiotics and prayed real hard that I would get well. The pain is one thing, the fatigue and fever is another. Thankfully, I was well enough to travel the next day and we made it to KL! Everything takes much longer with a baby - we had to stop often to change his diapers, etc, but we still enjoyed the trip. We drove from Singapore to KL on the first day and stayed one night, then travelled to Penang the next day and attended my friend's wedding. Stayed another night before driving back to KL the next day where we stayed for another 2 nights.

I've concluded that the best formula for a road trip with an infant involves a few things:
1) Lots of prayer!
2) Preparation preparation preparation (checklists, packing, etc)
3) A good attitude (see every detour or change in plans as an opportunity)
4) Flexibility (all your plans will be awry cos baby gets tired, etc)
5) A hotel that is located right next to a shopping mall and lots of food (you won't be able to go out much with a young baby)

We stayed at MiCasa in KL and G Hotel in Penang. We loved the G Hotel! It was right next to Gurney Plaza and all the food stalls on Gurney Drive. The Husband and I took turns to shop and ate in the hotel most of the time as Marc needed his naps, which worked out just fine cos the hotel is lovely! Check it out:
http://www.ghotel.com.my/
We managed to devour all the local delights in the comfort of our room and watched Heroes on DVD at night. We also got to catch up on sleep! Yay!

As for Marc - he enjoyed himself lots. There was always something new to see and do, and he dozed off really easily in the car cos of the rocking motion. His cot in G Hotel was placed right next to the full length window, so he got a sea view everyday! He's lately become SUPER talkative - he used to only respond when spoken to, now he talks to his rattle, to himself, to anyone who goes up to say hi. He especially loves having his diaper changed and bum wiped along with his daily baths.

Of course, packing for such a trip is like moving house - that's why we decided to drive, there are just too many things to bring along! We survived and are thinking of the next challenge - taking him on a trip that involves a change in timezone!

10 Weeks Old!

2007-11-22T21:16:00.000+08:00

Its amazing how time flies...Marc is already 10 weeks old! He's become very talkative of late, talking to us, to strangers, to the air, to anything in general. I went out to lunch with my colleagues today and the Husband babysat him for a while. When I came home, he was extremely chatty, almost as if he had so much to tell me about his 2 hours with daddy. He is now 5.5kg. According to the Paed, he was below average weight when born. He's now slightly above average, which means his weight gain is rapid. The poor guy has a serious reflux problem though. He has to take Zantac, which cuts down the acid production in the stomach and reduces the pain in his throat when he regurgitates. He hates the medicine, so the only way to fool him is to syringe it really quickly into his mouth and stick the bottle in before he has time to scream. I've also started to freeze some breast milk in preparation of my return to work. In the bid to increase milk supply, I took fenugreek 2 days in a row. This resulted in a serious case of mastitis - infection of the milk duct. It was horrible - pain, lethargy and fever. And it had to happen on a Sunday that the Husband had MBA class. But the Lord certainly knows our need - just the night before, a sister from Church rang to offer to babysit Marc in Church so that I could listen to the message. After his 5am feed on Sunday morning, fever struck. I was pretty zonked out at Church but managed to listen to most of the message thanks to this sister!

So at the end of the day, a lack of milk is no good. Too much milk is no good either. Conclusion - be content with what you have! The Husband has been asking me to consider stopping breastfeeding to make life easier for myself and to avoid having to pump at regular intervals at work. I'm still going to persist...

We will be going on a family holiday to Malaysia, partly to visit the Husband's grandparents and partly to attend a friend's wedding. We're praying Marc will enjoy the car ride there and not scream his head off the entire way!

Marc's getting very strong too. Bathing is difficult - he loves his baths so he kicks up a storm. A slippery, strong, wet 5.5kg baby is not easy to handle. I keep telling the Husband something bad is going to happen. And it happened today. Marc got particularly excited and whilst trying to wash his groin area with one hand and supporting him with the other, he went under completely for one second. I scooped him up really quickly and he sat there stunned for 30 seconds. Then it finally registered and he screamed his lungs out! The good side is that his face was really clean after that! No need to use cotton wool to cleanse! We've been trying to find bath solutions and wanted to purchase a bath cum changing table. But a friend with a bigger and older baby told us it won't take the weight after a while - they are considering bathing the baby with a tub on the floor - which is currently what we're doing now!

Marc the Lady Killer

2007-11-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

We brought Marc to see a renown lactation consultant, Mrs Wong Boh Boi last Tuesday. We attended her prenatal class and enjoyed it lots. She works at Thomson Medical Centre ("TMC") and is well known in Singapore for her baby-handling skills and knowledge. The Parentcraft centre at TMC is amazing - they have well-trained staff to help you with breastfeeding, all manner of breast pumps, classes on baby massage and care, etc. We arrived at 9am in the morning and after a short wait, I was ushered into a room and fed warm milo. The staff helped me to breastfeed Marc and noted that his latch was good, but his problem was that after the initial few minutes, he starts to nibble and ocassionally fall asleep at the breast. This was why he was taking an hour to feed and still ended up hungry. They also have a super duper machine that weighs the baby before a feed and after, so that they can determine how much the baby has drunk. After an hour of intense feeding, latching and un-latching him and breast compressions, he had only drunk 70ml! No wonder he was still hungry, he is full normally with 150ml!

We were told to leave Marc behind, go out and relax and have a nice lunch and return at 1.30pm to breastfeed him again. This is to determine that milk supply wasn't the problem. We were THRILLED! An afternoon without Marc was heaven-sent. We love the kid and all, but it can get very tiring facing a crying baby all day at home. Needless to say - we had Japanese food for lunch and I was so happy, my milk supply was SUPER abundant that day!

After returning to Parentcraft we found Marc quietly swaddled and lying in a cot with Mrs Wong by his side chatting to him. The consultants said he had a lot of wind in his tummy and passed it all out after they applied tummy massage on him. Mrs Wong also commented that he didn't cry much and was good all morning - we were surprised! She mentioned that Marc likes older women and was checking out all the women coming in and out of the centre - he was not interested in the infant girls at all!

That marked the start of his new career as the lady killer. We brought him to a birthday party last week and he woke up from his nap, hungry for milk (or so I thought). Normal scenario at home: Scream and yell at top of his lungs for milk. Scenario at the party: All smiles and giggles at the aunties! We were shocked needless to say. This boy is an Aunty killer! All the girls gathered round him and commented how handsome he was....the Husband and I are thinking...oh no, he likes women more than food! And we thought he was obsessed enough about food, now this....this is going to be lots of trouble when he grows up!

Two landmark things from the past week.
Sunday Nov 4th - Marc's first service to the Lord - appearing on stage in Church with a bunch of young adults from ACTS to promote Family Day!

Monday Nov 5th - My first time out with Marc ALONE - pushed him out in the stroller for a walk to Holland Village. He was thrilled, but thankfully I had the sense to turn back after 25 minutes because he spent the last 5 minutes screaming at the top of his voice, inviting lots of stares from passers-by. I can attest that every first time parent's greatest fear is - CRYING. The crying is unnerving at first, then you get used to it when he cries at home. Crying in public is a totally different matter. The fear is crippling! You get people staring at you like you're some crazy parent letting your baby cry in the stroller. They have no idea that its perfectly normal for babies to cry and that they don't have to be picked up the minute they cry - a few minutes is good exercise for the lungs! But no...many well meaning strangers actually come up to you, open the hood over the stroller, touch the baby and start telling you what's wrong with him and why he's crying (and they ALWAYS say he's hungry). This has happenned to us COUNTLESS times (and Marc's not even that old) and its always someone from the older generation who does that. I don't understand why - first of all, we don't know you! Secondly - please mind your own business. Thirdly - talking and smiling at a stranger's baby is perfectly fine, but TOUCHING without asking is way out of line...This strange phenomena happens everywhere we go and sometimes we cover the stroller hood as a hint for the person to "please go away" but they still don't get it! Friends from overseas - please tell me if this has happenned to you or if this is a Singapore phenomena!

A good friend commented that its been a week since Mum and Dad have left and I was still sounding cheerful. I hadn't realised its been a week already! Yes, the fatigue is a constant companion but we're getting the hang of things and becoming more familiar with taking care of him. Each day has been full of little mercies from God and we can see His hand at work with each step we take. Time flies - Marc is exactly 8 weeks old today!

Thanks Mum

2007-10-27T23:14:00.000+08:00

Upon reflection, I've realised how misinformed I was about motherhood before I became a mother. I know that I've always wanted to have kids and be a mother, but I really had to idea what it entailed. I now have a deeper and greater understanding of a mother's heart and this has made me appreciate my Mum a lot more.

The past few weeks has really taught me a lot about myself. I'm a real control freak and even when things are beyond your control at work, its always manageable. Handling a baby really teaches you about helplesness. The kind of helplesness that drives you to your wits end and you have no choice but to say "help me Lord" - and really mean it! This has really humbled me and taught me the true meaning of dependence. I've never really had to depend on God till now and its truly a day by day dependence for everything. I'm in constant conversation with God, although most times the conversation sounds like "please make him sleep Lord!" or "please help him burp Lord"! I'm the sort of person that wants answers - but I've learnt that sometimes, there is no answer and perhaps God doesn't want me to have the answer - at least not just yet! This is tough for a control freak, but perhaps there's no other way for me to learn these lessons unless I become a mother!

After Aunty Mei Lan left, Mum and Dad came to stay with us. Chores were split up between everyone in the house. Dad was in charge of sterilising all the bottles and feeding equipment, laundry, general hygiene and all the other "hardware" sort of things around the house. Doesn't sound like much but I guarantee you that its kept him busy enough! There's lots of laundry for a baby even if we don't use cloth nappies. Mum did everything else - the cooking, the marketing, helping me to bottle feed Marc when I'm too pooped, bathe him when I'm totally exhausted, pat him to sleep, change his diapers, etc. Handling a baby day in and day out can wear anyone's patience thin and if not for Mum, I think Marc would have been left at the local orphanage by now! She has tirelessly volunteered to help and even wakes up at night when he cries for his feeds. Thankfully, I've never made her feed him at night as yet!

Mum is a very ambitious, assertive and business-savvy type of woman. I knew she took care of me but I didn't really know what that meant till now. She never gives up on Marc, even when he's really cranky and cried for the 200th time that day. She's always willing to help and patiently plays with him and entertains him. The best part is that she's really easygoing and doesn't insist that we handle Marc in HER way, but allows us to make our own decisions as parents. I'm thankful for the many mornings that she's taken over feeding and burping Marc when I'm too tired from countless night feeds.

Both Mum and Dad return to the US on Monday and we will miss them lots!! Thanks Mum for all that you've done for me, a lot of which I haven't really understood till now. And thanks for all the help you've rendered to us in the past few weeks. Thanks for being so encouraging and telling me that I can do it as long as I've set my mind to it, which means a lot to me during moments of helplesness. Thanks for giving up the chance to eat a proper meal to take care of Marc so that I can have a proper meal. Thanks for patiently "grooming" Marc and painstakingly giving him "facials" to remove his cradle cap. Thanks for babysitting so that we can have some time alone. The fact that you and Dad managed to take care of me in my infant days without any hired help is encouragement enough for me to know that it can be done! I will miss not just the help around the house but having an adult around the house to share a decent conversation with during the day! Now we're on our own and another chapter of lessons await us in the months ahead.

Marc is growing fast and learning new things each day. He's able to army-crawl on his belly, which is amazing for a 6 week old. His arms and legs are really strong and he can flip out of your hands if your grip is not firm enough. I've dropped him several times, which didn't result in him actually hitting the ground but being suspended in mid air with whatever part of his body I still have left in my hands! His reflexes are fast and his ears are sharp, so much so that he startles at the slightest sound. He's recently started trying to converse with us and smiles lots - as long as he's full! He's still got an appetite of a monster and feels heavier each day - partly due to weight gain and partly due to arm fatigue! We're slowly getting the hang of parenthood - there's so much to learn, not just for Marc but for us!

An Unwell Baby - the next greatest challenge

2007-10-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

Whoever said that maternity leave is a 3 month holiday is obviously a man with no kids. No mother who takes care of her kids herself would ever agree with that statement.

Baby Marc is generally good natured and easygoing...I started him on a routine recommended by Gina Ford, author of the "New Contended Baby Book". http://www.contentedbaby.com/
It advocates putting babies into a routine so that there are set sleep, feed and playtimes. I was amazed that Marc actually woke and fed naturally in accordance with the recommended times, and managed to sleep for a 4 hour stretch at night. That was until Sunday.

He got over tired and didn't manage to nap during his afternoon nap which meant that he got super cranky in the evening. This resulted in lots of crying, which may or may not have led to lots of wind in the tummy. He was inconsolable from Sunday till today and between Mum, Dad, the Husband and me, we've been taking turns to console him and put him to sleep. We've also been using colic drops to ease his discomfort. Its heart wrenching to see your baby in obvious pain and screaming his head off, with nothing much you can do to calm him.

Still we are positive and praying that he will recover soon. Apparently they outgrow this phase when their digestive system is more mature.

Since the confinement nanny left, my free time is now a luxury. My days are a blur of feeds, small snatches of times for meals, going to the loo and showering when someone else is tending to him. Still, its important to see the positive side of things. Motherhood trains you to be patient, humble and totally dependent on God. For those husbands out there reading this - your support is absolutely essential to your wife's sanity. Don't think that looking after the baby is "her job" - its a 24 hour job with no lunch breaks, no smoke breaks and no job scope! You must offer to help so that she can take a nap or even pee during the day.

Here are some gift ideas for those of you thinking of buying your friend who is a new Mum something (disclaimer - only applies of the Mum is looking after baby herself, otherwise some items will be redundant).

1) A Waterproof Apron - very useful for baths. Baby normally pees on Mummy just before or just after entering his bath. This will save Mummy less of a laundry hassle.

2) A Massager that can be operated single handedly and without the help of another human being - sore necks and backs are a norm for mum's, whether breastfeeding or not. Imagine holding baby, 6-8 times a day for 30minutes at a stretch, with neck craned downwards towards baby while he feeds. This is a SUPER gift. Don't bother getting a spa voucher, she wouldn't have time to go out anyway.

3) A Breastfeeding pillow - a MUST for breastfeeding mums.

4) A voucher for Nursing clothes - a MUST for breastfeeding mums so that she can feed baby easily in public

5) An IPOD - I discovered its use recently. Good gift for breastfeeding Mums as listening to music whilst looking at babies pictures encourages letdown when expressing milk. To read more about letdown, go to:
http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/baby/breastfeeding/breastfeeding_early_days.asp#Let-down

The day Aunty Mei Lan went home was a sad day for me. I had a short spell of feeling very depressed cos she has been such a great help. I think she grew attached to Marc as well and gave him an angpow before she left. I admit there was a twinge of envy as I thought to myself - she gets to sleep for 8 hours tonight. But that was quickly replaced with the depression again. My first concern was - what do I do with night feeds? I have been expressing breast milk at 3 hour intervals at night and leaving them in the fridge for her to bottle feed Marc so that I can get some rest. How does waking up at 3 hour intervals equate to more rest you say? Well, feeding time is usually an hour - by the time he's finished drinking and burping. Expressing milk can be as fast as 15 minutes - that's a whole 45 minutes more sleep, which equates to A LOT!

That's when I decided - Marc really needs a routine because I can't be waking up to feed him based on a demand feeding schedule. That's 1 hour feeding time plus additional time to express milk - I might as well not sleep at night! The other great push factor for getting him into a routine is our ability continue to have a life! I can't see how being held hostage by his feeding demands as something healthy, especially if we want to be able to continue serving in Church and for me to go back to work after maternity leave. Plus we never really know what's wrong when he cries, is he hungry, is he tired, is he unwell? With a routine, its easy to tell because you know exactly how much sleep he needs and whether he's had enough and how much milk he needs and whether he's still hungry. It also means we can actually tell people when is a good time to drop by for a visit, or when we can come out to meet them for a meal, etc.

I may not be able to update my blog so regularly now that the confinement nanny has gone home...but I will still try so stay tuned for more updates!

Motherhood 101

2007-10-05T22:45:00.000+08:00

Nothing you read or hear ever prepares you for motherhood, so I'm going to come up with my own Motherhood 101, in the hope that it will help first time Mums out there. These are the things they never told you in prenatal class and the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting." Now that I'm hitting the one month mark, I kind of feel qualified to give advice on motherhood!! This is what I've learnt in the past 4 weeks.

1) When they say you will be tired in the first few weeks, they mean you will be so tired, you will hit the tired barrier, after which you will be running on adrenaline and sheer willpower alone. The tiredness never goes away, you just get used to it.

2) You will get some form of the blues so make sure your partner is prepared for it. Recognise it for what it is, have a good cry, speak up about how you feel and realise that it will get better.

3) EVERYONE has an opinion and view on how baby should be taken care of and they are absolutely certain that their view is the only right view. Be prepared for it and don't let it affect you. It will usually make your blues worse if you take it to heart. Learn how to discern and sift through all advice wisely.

4) When you walk on the street with your baby, many strange aunties will come up to you and tell you that you are either carrying your baby the wrong way or not dressing him up with sufficient clothes, even in the 34degree Singapore heat.

5) You are not a bad mother, just a new one. (Courtesy of the Husband who has given me tons of assurance)

6) Don't feel bad about outsourcing - if there are people willing to care for your baby so that you can take a break, accept it!

7) The best way to increase your milk supply is to do something you like and stop focusing on the supply. For me, it involved getting out of the house with the Husband and leaving baby with the confinement nanny for a few hours.

8) The malay jamu wraps really work! Get a good and skilled therapist, the full body massage helps ease those aches and pains from 2 hourly breastfeeding sessions and from constantly straining your next to look downwards at your baby.

9) Babies cry all the time, don't freak out.

10) Talk to your friends to vent and don't be afraid to ask for help and advice from other Mums. It helped keep me sane.

Breastfeeding - the greatest challenge

2007-10-01T21:15:00.000+08:00

I am one of those people who was bent on exclusive breastfeeding for my baby before he was born. I read up a lot, spoke to many breastfeeding mums and psychoed myself into being a milk machine. When Marc was born, I breastfed him in the labour ward, even though a second dose of the anasthetic was given to me through my epidural and I felt like throwing up, along with getting the shivers cos the silly nurse overdosed me. Marc is a good sucker - to put it crudely - he latched on pretty quickly and had no problems sucking.

I told the nurses in the hospital that I wanted to breastfeed, so during my 2 night stay in the hospital, baby Marc was wheeled into the room in his plastic tub every 3 hours for a feed. I read that at that stage, I don't actually have any milk, but the body produces colostrum, which is high in antibodies and nutrients needed by the baby. These regular feeds are necessary to stimulate milk production, but it also meant that I got zero sleep, coupled with the flood of visitors during the daytime.

By the time I arrived home, I was already running on adrenaline - the sheer exhaustion is indescribable. The closest thing to it was when I didn't sleep in a 48 hour period during my Year 12 Maths Method project. Even that is peanuts compared to the early days of breastfeeding.

When we arrived home, Marc just wouldn't settle - I would let him suck till my nipples started blistering, then bleeding. All my pro-breastfeeding friends told me this was normal and to just bear with the pain till my nipples toughened up. The Husband was getting worried as he remembered pictures from our antenatal class where an overzealous mum let her baby suck for so long that she got such sore nipples that were infected and she could no longer breastfeed. Still I persisted.

On the first night back Marc's lips started to peel and he just wouldn't sleep at all. We were getting worried and he wouldn't stop crying - a good friend who's a second time Mum and successful breastfeeder told me to just supplement him with a little formula milk. The key is to get him to suck so that milk production is stimulated, but to stop after 15 minutes on each breast and just top up with a little formula. That did the trick and he finally slept.

Still I persisted and told the confinement nanny to bring him to me at nights whenever he cries. She told me outright that I would be totally exhausted by the second week but I insisted and said that I need to do this in order for my milk supply to come in.

And it came in all of a sudden on the Saturday after I came home from hospital in the form of breast engorgement. The pain is terrible - feels like giving birth through your nipples cos the pain is like muscle cramps all over your chest. My entire chest was rock hard and I couldn't even sleep properly! This didn't help things because baby Marc couldn't get any milk out due to the engorgement. I tried massage, cold compress, warm compress, but they helped minimally. This was until my Malay massage lady arrived on Monday morning for my slimming massage and wrap. She massaged my breasts and it was excruciating - but she managed to clear all the lumps and milk started to flow! What a relief! I also learn the proper massage technique which really helped.

Still baby Marc would suck for AGES - sometimes up to an hour and still end up screaming afterwards from hunger, so we would supplement. The first 2 weeks was an emotional roller coaster. I was so bent on breastfeeding, I felt so awful everytime I had to supplement him to stop his screaming. The Husband kept telling me that if I don't get any rest, I won't have enough milk anyway. Supportive friends told me to the same thing, relax, don't worry about the supply and make sure I get enough rest. Others said to stop giving him formula totally otherwise my supply will never catch up.

Herein lies the irony - if I don't supplement, he will scream his head off, which ends ups stressing everyone out, which means getting him to latch on again after 1 hour of sucking, which means he will be sucking continously, which means I won't get any rest, which means my supply will decrease. But if I supplement, he will sleep more and suck less, which means my breasts will not receive sufficient stimulation, which means my supply will also not be enough.

I ended up pumping extra to stimulate milk production so that I would have more milk for him. I took herbal remedies like fenugreek to get more milk, ate fish every meal every day, drank green papaya and fish bone soup and became totally obsessed with my milk supply.

Then I found out that baby Marc was no ordinary baby - at 2 weeks, he was drinking enough milk for a 1 month old! I was actually producing enough milk, for a normal baby his age, but not enough for this little monster! And the strange thing is that he's not a big baby by any standards. I kept thinking that I should still be able to produce enough milk for him so I kept pumping more milk at 2 hour intervals to stimulate production, which also meant less sleep at night. I'm now paying the price of my greediness - I have a miniature version of me!! When he wants his food, he makes it very clear and screams his head off and will give everyone hell until he's satisfied. And he takes his food VERY seriously, when he drinks, he zeroes in on the nipple, gobbles it up like a crocodile and covers his face with both his tiny little hands whilst he sucks voraciously. He even gulps his milk down loudly. Its like a war - he growls and grimaces as he tries to swallow every precious drop and sighs in between when he's tired from sucking. He makes such a racket when he's feeding that everyone can hear this tiny infant at my breast!

He recently went through a growth spurt in Week 3 and everything went haywire again. We weighed him today at the doctor's and he's put on 1kg in less than 3 weeks. We realised he was fussy and upset a lot because he wasn't drinking enough milk, so we topped up with more milk and he's gone back to his 3 hourly cycle again.

The Husband has been very supportive and put up with my obsessive compulsive streak with breastfeeding - he keeps telling me that 1) milk cometh not from the east or from the west but from the Lord and 2) breast milk is better, not best. In fact if I were to stop breastfeeding he would have no qualms after seeing how much I have tried and suffered sleepless nights.

Right now I'm at the stage where I've accepted the fact that I may never have enough milk for Marc and I may have to supplement as he grows, but I've stopped feeling guilty about it. I still get up at 3-4hourly intervals at night to pump but I've also learn to let go, rest as much as I can and not stress about the supply. After trying just about everything, I'm resigned to the fact that if God wants to multiply my milk supply, He will and He can, no matter what I do using my human efforts!

Confinement Nanny - the Sanity Saver

2007-09-26T18:44:00.000+08:00

When we found out we were pregnant, we decided to book a confinement nanny. For those of you who live overseas, this is probably a foreign concept. But for us lucky folks living in Asia, we can actually hire a live-in-nanny for a month. Job scope includes caring for baby and mummy, including feeding, bathing, sleeping with baby and cooking for the recuperating mummy. I started asking around for recommendations and had about 5 on my list. When I started calling them in my first trimester of pregnancy, I was horrified to discover that many were already booked! There's a joke among my group of mummy friends that you basically have to book the confinement nanny first THEN try to get pregnant, otherwise the good ones get snapped up at the word "go"! I was quite discouraged but kept asking around.

The paradox is this - most of the confinement nannies come from Malaysia. Looking after an infant 24 hours a day for a month AND cooking for the mother is no easy feat and something that most Singaporeans would shun. Because these confinement nannies are not Singaporean, technically, a work permit is required. However in practice, many of them work on a visitor pass. The standard term of work is 28 days, so to get around the rules, most will work for 14 days, then cross the causeway back into Malaysia and return again for another 14 days. After some deliberation, we decided that we would hire a nanny that is agreeable to a work permit. It costs an additional $200 but we wanted to be on the right side of the law. I also felt it would affect our Christian testimony to the nanny if we were unable to even let her work legally.

We finally found a suitable one from an ex-colleague who fit all the requirements. After a telephone discussion, where I stated very clearly that 1) I am not traditional and intend to bathe everyday and 2) I intend to breastfeed, we had a verbal agreement to book Aunty Mei Lan. She indicated on the phone that she will care for the baby, cook for the Husband and I and clean up the kitchen after cooking. If she has spare time, she'll help out with other chores. I thought this was reasonable.

When Marc arrived early, Aunty Mei Lan had already made plans to spend the weekend with her children who were visiting her from KL. The earliest she could arrive was Saturday the 15th. We agreed, but to our delight, she rang on the day of my discharge to indicate that her children had urged her to come to Singapore early begin her engagement with us as promised. Hence she managed to come on Friday the 14th and rescued us from more sleepless nights (as indicated in my earlier post).

The first thing we realised about Aunty Mei Lan is that she's super hardworking - she has cleaned our home 10 times over, packed up and organised the kitchen, created a system for baby's clothes, sterilisation of bottles, storage of bottles, etc. The Husband was very pleased. Her daily routine involves waking up at around 7-8am every morning, regardless of how little she's slept, having breakfast, thawing food for lunch, putting a round of bottles in the steriliser. Next is to bathe Marc at around 8-9pm after he's had a small feed, then making sure he's full and ready to settle for a nap. Then she's off to empty all the bins in the house, magic-wiping the floors, packing up, preparing lunch, packing the sterilised bottles, etc. She's ready again for his next feed before cooking lunch and washing up ALL the dishes. The only rest time she has is after his afternoon feed where she lies down for a little nap, and steals an hour to watch her Chinese program at 4.30pm - to which she would tend to Marc if he's hungry or fussing in between. She's up cooking dinner again in the evening and washing up, then boiling my red date and longan drink in the slow cooker overnight so I have a supply for the next day. PLUS night feeds - I diligently woke up to breastfeed him every 2-3 hours for the first 2 weeks. Aunty Mei Lan kept telling me that I would tire myself out by the time she leaves and I realised it was affecting my supply, so I've resorted to expressing my milk at night and letting her feed him from the bottle.

After waking up 2-4 times a night, she's up again and the whole routine begins. There have been times when Marc would fuss and we would have no idea what he wanted, thankfully Aunty Mei Lan is here to help. I've been fed with nutritious food, daily bought and delivered by the mother in law. One piece of good advice given by friends is to accept all help given and do not hesitate to ask for help if you need it - I couldn't agree more! I think we would have gone insane if we didn't have Aunty Mei Lan's help. As it is, I feel like a zombie everyday from the lack of sleep, if I didn't have her help, I would be totally delirious!

Now I'm starting to worry - what will I do when she leaves???? We've started to observe how she bathes the baby so that we can learn and will probably do a hands-on session whilst she's still here. I've heard many horror stories about confinement nannies who discourage breastfeeding and believe in lots of hocus pocus and old wives tales - whilst Aunty Mei Lan has her views on my daily hair-washings and drinking of plain water, she will voice them but pretty much leaves me to decide. She consults me on what she intends to cook for the day and on how often and how I want to feed my baby. In this respect, both the Husband and I agree that she's very professional and has a great work attitude. Would definitely recommend her to friends!

13 September - First Night at Home

2007-09-19T20:28:00.000+08:00

Marc and I was discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health on Thursday, 13th September. We were taught how to clean his cord, after which he was dressed in his going home outfit and we were free to leave. I carried him in my arms down through the Gleneagles lobby, the Husband and I both beaming with pride at our new bundle of joy. As is always the case, Marc was quiet and sleepy all the way through our application for his birth certificate at the admissions counter, our payment of the final hospital bill, the car ride home and the arrival to our doorstep.

Grandma was home with the helper, already preparing our lunch and having the house all spruced up and ready for Marc's arrival. The afternoon proceeded relatively uneventfully, with us trying to figure out where to place the cot during the day and debating whether the fan was needed to keep him cool. We had dinner with the Husband's family and Marc started to fuss. He didn't seem satisfied after feeding from the breast and kept crying. We noticed that Marc's lips were dry and peeling, fearing that he was dehydrated, we started furiously sms-ing some experienced friends. They advised us to supplementing with a little formula milk, which he drank a few sips and refused to drink anymore. He managed to settle and we thought that would be the end of it.

We decided to try bathing him - it was quite a scene. Imagine 2 adults, sitting over a tub of water, with a newborn babe screaming at the top of his lungs, whilst one adult kept running in and out of the toilet to re-check the "Childcare" edition of Mrs Wong Boh Boi's books. The end result was a not-so-clean baby and 2 very harassed adults!

Then night fell. We wheeled the cot into our room and swaddled him plus added a layer of blanket to keep him warm in the airconditioned room. Within an hour, he started fussing again. Feeding from the breast didn't help. His diaper was clean. Singing to him didn't help. Carrying him didn't help. Feeding him formula milk settled him a bit, but he woke again and the cycle started all over again. Nothing seemed to work! We even tried letting him sleep between the 2 of us but that didn't work either.

By 8am, we had managed to settle him, after taking turns to wake up and tend to the crying babe whilst the other person caught some shut-eye. We were both very very tired.

When the confinement nanny finally arrived at 10am, she arrived to find a house in chaos and 2 very tired adults! Our first night at home with Marc - memorable indeed but truly a lesson that no matter how well prepared you think you are, its never the same as the real thing!

Week 38 - My Labour Story

2007-09-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

Yes! I'm back in cyberspace after what seems like a lifetime. But I've now realised its just been a matter of 5 days! Seems like ages. I logged on to gmail today and had so many messages! Still getting through them.

I thought Week 38 would be my last week at work as I had planned. But obviously, both Pipsqueak and God had other plans.

It started on Monday, 10th of September. I had woken up, had breakfast and started putting on makeup to go to work. I used the loo and noticed some spotting. I went to the Husband and told him and he didn't think it was a big deal. I said "This is a sign that I am going into labour! We should call Dr Ang!" Still not thinking it was a big deal, the Husband agreed. I started sms-ing my colleagues to tell them that I would need to see the doctor this morning and not be in the office.

At around 9.30am I managed to get my doctor's receptionist on the line and told her about the spotting, she said she would speak to the doctor right away and get her to call me back.

My doctor rang back in about 5 minutes and after assessing my situation, advised me to make my way to the hospital labour ward for a CTG - this measures the baby's heartbeat as well as the level of contractions.

"Take your time, have a shower, have your breakfast and proceed to the Labour ward at around 11am"

We took that literally and dilly dallied till around 11.30am. Paul headed out to run a couple of errands and buy the papers, whilst I re-packed my hospital bag, took a shower, ensured I had enough snacks in the bag, etc. When we arrived and I got hooked up to the CTG machine, it was close to 12pm. We were told that the CTG would take an hour. At first we found it quite interesting to see baby's heartbeat and my contractions on the graph paper. Then my hunger set in. And oh boy was I hungry. I started harassing the Husband to ask the nurse if I could eat. When she finally came round she checked the readings and the conversation was a bit like this...

"You are having contractions and they are quite regular, do you feel them?"

"Yes, but they don't hurt." Pause "Can I eat? I'm really hungry"

(Surprised expression from Nurse) "No not yet, but let me check with the doctor and let you know"

I decided to disobey anyway and the Husband went down to delifrance to get me a tuna croissant. By the time the nurse came to tell me I could eat but that I had to wait till my doctor came to see the results before I could go home, the Husband had already returned with the sandwich and I had a few sips of Orangina. I chomped down my sandwich in a flash!

My doctor arrived a while later and explained that I was having contractions, but I was not in labour yet and my cervix was only 1cm dilated. Having a show indicates that labour is imminent but real labour could begin anywhere from the day itself to 1 week. I had a choice to stay and have my labour induced or to go home and wait it out. I chose the latter and was given 2 days medical leave. If labour didn't start by then I was ok to go to work on Wednesday. I was thoroughly confused about the contractions and double checked with the doctor that I was to return if I had contractions 5 minutes apart and that these contractions were indeed supposed to hurt. I have been having painless contractions for about a week and some are already 5 minutes apart!

We went home and the day was relatively uneventful, although I could feel the contractions and they were definitely stronger than before. After dinner, the Husband decided we should junk out and suggested we order pizza. I was quite excited at the prospect as it was a long while since I ate junk food and we figured since baby would arrive anytime, why not!

I had 2 slices and finished them faster than the Husband!

We went to bed and I was still having painless contractions, but with lots more spotting during the course of the day. At around 2.30am, I woke up with painful contractions. The pain was bearable, and they came regularly at about 10 minute intervals. The books say that 5 minute intervals is when we have to go to the hospital. So is this it? I decided to walk around the house and see how it would progress. I discovered that the pain was heightened with sitting and lying down, but walking helped. So I kept walking around the house and timing the contractions. By 4.30am I decided the contractions were regular and they did hurt enough for me to do the breathing exercises we learnt in class, so I woke the Husband. We ate a light breakfast and continued monitoring for some time. It took a bit of debating to figure out if this was for real, and when we finally decided it was, it was close to 6am. We decided to head to the hospital.

We arrived at around 6.30am and the nurse showed us to Delivery Room 7 where I was told to get into a hospital gown and lie on the bed. If anyone was not scared of labour, I think the delivery room is enough to put you off! It looks so clinical and cold. They tried to use pretty wallpaper but really, it doesn't feel that way at all! After going through lots of paperwork, I was given an enema and that was NOT COMFORTABLE at all! Feels like 2 bouts of food poisoning all at once!

I was told to lie on the bed and was hooked up to the CTG machine again. The nurse on duty was super-grumpy and when I was asked if I could walk around to ease the labour pain, the flat answer was no. Here's a pic of me looking relatively positive on the delivery bed!

The contractions started coming more regularly and they grew in intensity and pain. I was at 1cm from 7am till about 9am and whilst I kept getting contractions, my cervix was dilating very slowly. My doctor came at 9.30am and burst my waterbag and put me on a drip with Syntocin to speed up the contractions. I was offered an epidural and I asked the nurse if the contractions would hurt more with the Syntocin and the answer was very diplomatic, to the effect that different people react differently, but in a nutshell, it was a yes. I decided to wait it out and see if they got worse. By now, the husband was already massaging my lower back with each contraction and I was doing my breathing exercises. Hearing that my cervix was still 1.5cm was totally discouraging.

By 10.30am the pain was so intense and came very 3 minutes - I was only 1.5cm and to go by estimations, the cervix generally dilates 1cm every 1 hour. This meant possibly 9 more hours of pain, which would increase and not decrease! I decided to take the epidural. The Husband was finding all sorts of different means to give me by back massage without having his hand fall off when the anaesthesist finally arrived. He was very calm and after a few questions, told me to turn to my left side and curl up like a ball as much as physically possible whilst he inserted the epidural tube. It was hard to keep still when a contraction came and trying to do deep breathing at the same time. The only part that hurt was the local anasthetic to numb the back, everything else was pretty painless. When the epidural finally kicked in, it was bliss! My legs felt a bit weird and numb, but I could still move them.

By now it was almost 1pm and the Husband went downstairs to have his lunch whilst I lied down and tried to rest. A bit hard considering there are 2 large plastic disks strapped around my swollen belly, a drip connected to 2 tubes on my left hand and a blood pressure arm band around my right arm. I was also told to turn from side to side occasionally as the baby's heartbeat was a bit high.

My dilation was checked regularly and I was progressing well, by the time I hit 7cm I was very positive and decided to start wiping my face to prepare for photos after baby was out. By around 5pm I started to feel the urge to push. I told Paul to call the nurse who arrived and did one more check on me and indicated that I would be able to start pushing soon. I was prepped and stirrups were placed on the end of the bed. Several different midwives came and left the room, each trying to explain to me the pushing technique. Honestly, the Husband was WAY better than all the midwives combined. I only managed to get him out in a relatively short time with the Husband's contstant support and encouragement.

And the strange thing is - people kept calling whilst I was in labour! There were occasions when I was ready to push and needed the Husband's support and he was busy answering the phone! Can't people leave you alone when you are in labour?

After pushing with all my might for about half an hour, baby Marc entered the world at 5.29pm! My doctor was pretty impressed that the baby came out that quickly - she basically walked in, put on her boots and gown delivered the head, gave me an epistotomy, then delivered the body in one swift motion.

Thank God he is well and healthy! God certainly answers prayer and we are both doing well at home.

The Husband noticed that the delivery room was really quite a warzone after the delivery and took some pictures of the aftermath.

Here's a pic of Marc in the plastic hospital tub.

Marc was 2.56kg at birth, 48cm long and had a head diameter of 32cm. He was very fiesty and cried very loudly as soon as he emerged. I also managed to breastfeed him in the labour ward, which I was very happy about.

Will update with another post soon on our first few days at home. Its the start of an amazing journey! Thanks to all for your love, prayers and well wishes!

Latest Update

2007-09-10T16:55:00.000+08:00

Just got back from the hospital...had a bloody show this morning so doc told me to take a shower and make my way to the hospital for a CTG. Took our time, and was hooked up to this machine for 1 hour - one measured Pipsqueak's heartbeat the other measured contractions. I was indeed having contractions, but they didn't hurt, just felt like strong Braxton hicks. Not sure what it means but the maximum contraction hit about 110.

The nurse came round and told me that I was having contractions and asked if I could feel them. My answer was "yes but they don't hurt and I'm really hungry, can I eat?" Her answer was no as I had to be examined before they could let me go. I spent the next 15 minutes harassing the poor Husband about how hungry I was. In the end he bought me a delifrance tuna sandwich from downstairs and an Orangina. I disobeyed the nurse and started sipping on my Orangina. She came back and told me that my gynae wanted to come in and check on me and that I could be taken off the machine and I could eat. HURRAY!

Was examined by my gynae who confirmed that I was only 1cm dilated, so I had the choice of either inducing labour or to go home and wait it out. Chose the latter option, would rather let nature take its course and my boss has told me numerous times that induced contractions always hurt more. Was told to return if my water bag breaks or if I get contractions every 5 minutes. But this is the confusing part - how am I supposed to know if my contractions are 5 minutes apart, when I'm already having them and they don't hurt? I asked the midwife and my gynae if my contractions should hurt before I come in and they both said yes.

According to my gynae, I could be in this pre-labour state for as long as a week, so I could deliver tonight or I could deliver next week! In any case, i was given 2 days medical leave to rest at home. Let's wait and see what happens!

Week 37 - Intense Braxton Hicks

2007-09-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

As the song goes "anyday now...", that's kinda how Week 37 feels like. At the last checkup, Pipsqueak grew again and is now about 2.6kg. Doc says he's not a fat baby which is good for me. The only bad news this week is that I tested positive for Strep B - its a kind of bacteria that lives in the birth canal and my reading tells me that between 16-40% of women have it, but have no symptoms whatsoever. Its not harmful to me, but if I deliver naturally, baby may be exposed to the bacteria and develop illnesses like Meningitis and Pneumonia. So I've been put on a course of antibiotics and will be given an injection when I go into labour to minimise the infection to Pipsqueak. I didn't realise it was SO common until I chatted with a few colleagues who had the same infection when they were pregnant.

My Braxton Hicks contractions have been getting more and more intense, it kept me awake one night and is starting to feel more uncomfortable. The worst is having a Braxton Hicks in the car - and the car goes over a bumpy road or speed hump! Oh my, does it hurt! Its a strange sensation, my entire belly tightens and becomes very hard. Amazing how God created our human body to even have test run contractions before the real thing! I hope I'll be able to tell the real contractions when they come! I am still optimistic about trying for a natural labour without an epidural and some friends think I'm crazy, but I'll give it a go anyway!

The Husband and I have finally gotten off our lazy bums and done our hospital pre-admission. Involves going to the admissions counter and getting some paperwork done, so that when I arrive in labour, I go straight up to the labour ward. The Husband has got his labour plan ready - I can't remember the acronym he's come up with the remind himself what to do, but my main concern is getting the hospital bag ready. And strangely enough, I keep adding food to the bag. I have the greatest phobia of waking up hungry in the middle of the night in the hospital and having nothing to eat by Milo and biscuits! So I've packed Mcvities and recently bought some nice Japanese chocolate biscuits too.

I've been getting lots of pampering at home. My parents are enroute to Melbourne and Dad has been giving me lots of food massages and Mum has been cooking up a storm. Dad's a super ironer as well so my clothes are all well ironed this week! The Husband tucks me into bed at night and helps me get into bed (yes its even hard to get in and out of bed!). He's also my fitness instructor - the gynae has been encouraging me to do squats, as the lower Pipsqueak's head is, the easier and shorter my labour. So we walk up the stairs to the car park in the morning to keep my stamina up and do squats at night to push Pipsqueak's head down! But to me, the best form of exercise is retail therapy! I've been sneaking in lots of shopping during lunchtime - my rationale is that it won't be so easy for me to get out and shop after baby arrives, so better do it now!

Week 38 will be my last week at work. I've been praying that Pipsqueak won't arrive too early so that I will have enough leave to tide over Christmas, and he's been pretty good so far I must say. Let's see how this week pans out!

Week 36 - Pipsqueak is 2.4kg!

2007-09-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

We had our 36 week checkup and Pipsqueak's estimated weight is about 2.4kg. Doc says this is a good weight for my frame and if he's just below 3kg at full term, it would be just nice. He's gaining weight steadily, which is good too, as most babies stop putting on much weight towards the last few weeks. His head is down in my pelvis, but could be lower, so I was taught to do squats to push his head lower for an easier labour. She also recommended me to walk more and especially walking up flights of stairs at it improves stamina for labour. If you can imagine carrying around a very large watermelon at your belly and having it wrapped in your own skin, such that its pulling forward and downwards, the strain on your back is immense! Walking up stairs is no joke...plus with the baby's head so low, the pressure in the pelvis is incredible...I sometimes feel like my entire pelvis is about the fall out between my legs!

The pelvic and pubic bone pain has eased somewhat, so I'm able to walk a bit more freely now. It still hurts when I lie down on my back and left side.

Everyone is placing bets as to when I will pop - most are placed around the 14, 15, 16 & 17 of Sept period.

We had an office party on Friday and my colleagues were concerned that I would go into early labour with all the excitement. Since I had my checkup on Friday my gynae assured me that my cervix was still closed and nowhere near dilating, so I made it through the night without any dramas. Although I couldn't join in the fun, I did manage to join in the song "YMCA" whilst sitting on a chair...Pipsqueak was quite excited with all the music and talking...and I felt a bit like the Chinese pot-bellied buddha, with lots of people rubbing my tummy. Apparently its good luck to rub a pregnant woman's belly!

Most of my maternity tops are at maximum stretch - if a very young child were to walk underneath my shirts they would see some part of my exposed belly as there's just not enough fabric left! I'm also starting to get Braxton Hicks contractions, or at least that's what I think they are. I get them most in the evenings, they are relatively painless, but my entire belly hardens and becomes squarish in shape. There is also a slight shooting pain from the lower abdomen area and breathing becomes a bit harder.

Whatever the case, the end is in sight! 4 more weeks at the most...so I'm hanging in there by God's grace!

Week 35 - Pack your bags!

2007-08-27T20:58:00.000+08:00

Went to see a Physiotherapist this week and she did an assessment. Turns out that one of my Sacro-iliac joints is stiffer than the other, hence one side of my hips have to over compensate, causing the pubic symphysis joint in the front to rub against each other, causing some misalignment and inflammation. Its not too serious and quite common, most pregnant women feel better after delivery but its important to take good care of my joints and prevent permanent damage. All this joint weakness is caused by the body producing the hormone called Relaxin which loosens all the ligaments and joints in preparation for labour. Apparently there are exercises I can learn to strengthen my core muscles to compensate for the joint weakness, but I've been too lazy to make another appointment to go back and learn them!

Pipsqueak is definitely getting heavier and his head is really low in my pelvis. I can actually feel him turn his head and I get shooting pains in my pelvic area when he decides to do a head butt or turn from side to side.

As a result I've been freaking all my colleagues out because I have no idea how soon I'll go into labour and all my files will be left hanging! So I've been trying to brief my colleagues on my active cases so that there is some continuity should I pop unexpectedly.

His growth rate is pretty phenomenal now, you can actually see the growth from day to day. I read that he's pretty much fully formed now, just putting on weight so that he can regulate his temperature in the outside world. He's also shedding his lanugo hair which covered his body in the womb, protecting him from the amniotic fluid.

I have another checkup this Friday, after this checkups will be weekly. I've got my hospital bag 90% packed, if not for the stuff which I still have to use from day to day. I've been trying to convince the Husband to read the labour and delivery chapters in "What to Expect when you're Expecting" so that he's prepared - but I haven't been very successful yet!

Week 34 - Waddle Waddle Waddle

2007-08-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

Woke up on Wednesday feeling really heavy and strange, Pipsqueak's position seemed to have changed a bit and felt quite low. Then at lunch, I got this excruciating pain from the pubic bone radiating out to the inner thighs everytime I walked. I was reduced to walking very slowly and waddling like a duck. The pain didn't go away so I pushed forward my Friday checkup to Thursday.

The good news is that Pipsqueak is around 2kg now, so he's growing. His head is also 3/5 engaged, which is why I felt him being so low in the pelvis. Doctor says the pain is normal, some women can't even walk! She thinks it will go away in a few days as my body adjusts.

Its Sunday and it still hurts! It hurts when I walk, when I lift up one leg, when I turn from side to side in bed (this hurts the most) and when I cough. Worse still, I can hear something clicking in my pelvis when I walk. Did some reading online that there is a disorder called Pubic Symphysis Dysfunction. You can read more here:

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/physicalhealth/pelvicpain/?_requestid=1123266

I think I may have this, the symptoms match. The Husband doesn't think I have it, but its really slowing me down and affecting my mobility, so I've started making enquiries with physiotherapists to see if anyone is specialised in this. Apparently permanent joint damage can be caused during delivery if the doctors and nurses are not aware. In the meantime, everyone has noticed the waddling and much slower pace that I'm moving at.

After hearing that his head was engaged, most of my colleagues panicked (especially those who are not parents) and started asking what to do if I go into labour. I hope Pipsqueak doesn't arrive so soon, so that I can tide over my annual leave and maternity leave till next year!

Decided to wash Pipsqueak's clothes and linen this weekend since we're running out of time and technically, he can arrive anytime from Week 37. Its a good thing the Husband had the foresight to buy an extra clothing rack as Pipsqueak's clothes are so tiny, its hard to hang them on hangers and place them on our retractable clothes line. Everyone is telling us to enjoy our last few weeks of "freedom" before Pipsqueak arrives. At the moment, I just want my normal pelvis back!

Week 33 - Getting Wedged in Small Spaces

2007-08-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

I don't know how it can possibly happen, but I seem to forget that I am taking up more space sideways and yet I still attempt to squeeze through small spaces. Just this Sunday I got wedged between the pillar and a table. I don't know what was going through my mind to make me think that I could possibly fit through the gap, but I had to gingerly reverse and walk the long way round. I've heard of women getting stuck in the barriers to the MRT train station! Hasn't happenned to me yet, but I can imagine why. Somehow toilets and barriers are not built with pregnant women in mind. I'm not sure if I have blogged about it yet, but I've been to one public toilet where I had 2 options, climb on the seat or stand pressed against the toilet bowl to get in and out of the cubicle. I chose the latter, but it still involved pressing the door against my belly.

The other unpleasant things I've discovered about pregnancy - the sweat glands work overtime! I keep smelling myself and not liking the smell the emanates, so I end up showering extra on the weekends when I'm home.

The constipation comes back on and off every few days, but its manageable. There is a feeling of incredible pressure in my groin and pelvic area, am told that it will get worse when baby's head engages. Sometimes his head seems so low I wonder if he's engaged already!

Visited a friend over the weekend who's just had her baby 2 weeks ago - and she looks like she's shrunk back to normal size! Her belly was tiny at full term and her baby was 3.5kg! As if that's not amazing enough, she's really petite but her labour was so short, she didn't even have time for an epidural. I pray mine is like that! Short, speedy and smooth!

Here are some shots of the lovely crabs we had on the weekend from Eng Seng Coffee Shop in Still Road. We ordered and bought them back for dinner to celebrate my sister in law's birthday. YUM! The pepper crab was awesome!

Its not uncommon now to see my belly go lopsided - my colleagues and friends find it quite intriguing. I'm not sure if I'm getting Braxton Hicks contractions, but sometimes my entire belly goes hard and I think its because Pipsqueak is sticking out his bum, but my friend tells me that she thought so too but her doc told her it was a Braxton hicks contraction.

I've also found out why Pipsqueak responds to the Husband's voice more favourably than mine - he can hear it more clearly! Mine probably sounds garbled as I'm further away, whereas the Husband can place his mouth right next to Pipsqueak's head. And I thought he was already starting to show favourtism between the parents. Of course the Husband still likes to think that Pipsqueak likes him better. Let's wait and see!

Week 32 - Daily Hiccups

2007-08-06T21:09:00.000+08:00

We've finally hit the 8 month mark! On some days, I feel so heavy all my tummy muscles are aching and walking is a chore. I suspect that its his growth spurt days as I manage to adjust within the next day or so. As food is my greatest joy, its also one of my greatest challenges as I grow bigger each day as my stomach is being pushed higher and digestive capacity decreases. Sleeping is also getting more difficult, I still wake up at 4am or 5am in the mornings and find it hard to fall asleep again.

Here are pictures of the cot and stroller which arrived this week. The cot matches perfectly with the room decor, so I'm quite pleased. It has a one-handed drop down side which we were advised to look for in a cot as its hard to drop down the side with both hands if you're carrying a baby. Plus the height of the cot is adjustable so it grows with baby and prevents constant bending of the back.

The stroller was a gift from Uncle Ben and Aunty Grace, we selected a lighweight stroller so that its easy for me to handle on my own. You won't believe the multitude of functions that come with a stroller. There's actually a 4-wheel drive stroller - basically all 4 wheels can be unlocked and turn 360 degrees. If you think of it, its very handy if you need to rotate on the spot, but to push the stroller around or to walk in a straight line is quite challenging, so you end up locking 2 wheels. So in the end, you very rarely use the 4-wheel function. We decided to forgo the 4-wheel drive function and stick with a 2-wheel drive.

Pipsqueak has been hiccuping on a daily basis. I read on Babycenter that its because they take in small amounts of amniotic fluid as they learn to breathe, so they end up hiccuping. I don't think he likes the feeling as he gets agitated and starts kicking around. He's been hiccuping so much I'm getting quite concerned about whether he's in distress, but I've been told its normal. Anyone got suggestions on how to stop a baby hiccuping in the womb?

And I found out today too that a baby's kicking can be quite painful! My ribs have been sore partly from the kicking and partly from the expansion. Pipsqueak went on a rampage today and kicked like crazy - an entire limb popped out of my belly and it hurt! I hope my placenta is built to withstand constant pounding, I keep wondering if one day he's going to kick so hard, it will dislodge the placenta or cause a hole in it!

Week 31 - No More Durians

2007-07-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

We had our 3 weekly checkup this week and discovered that Pipsqueak has put on a considerable amount of weight. He's gained 700 grams in 3 weeks, so he's 1.7kg. The strange thing - my total weight gain was only 400 grams. Which means he got 300 grams off me! His size is within the normal range, so nothing to be alarmed about. But I am convinced that his weight gain was attributed to durians. I had 3 large durian seeds over the weekend and I felt so heavy and I could see my tummy had grown considerably the 2 days after. Another pregnant friend of mine has been eating durians and also gained a lot of weight. So to all the pregnant mummies out there who have babies that are too small - EAT DURIANS!

I'm going to stay off durians for now, I don't want Pipsqueak to become so huge that he gets stuck in the birth canal!

Every day that passes, I think that I can't possibly grow anymore, but I keep growing and I think I'm surviving on God's grace alone. Its getting really hard to breathe and I get reflux when I lie down to sleep at night, so I have to prop myself up a bit higher. He likes to turn around a lot and do somersaults when I lie down, which actually really hurt now! His legs are also kicking my ribs a lot, so I have to sit up really straight.

My belly also becomes lopsided a lot nowadays, you can see his limbs or his back sticking out at odd locations. He does respond to his Dad though, who gives him a bit of a massage and speaks to him, which results in the offending body part returning back to position.

Despite feeling very heavy, taking a walk or swimming actually makes me feel better, not worse. I suppose its the circulation. I've been waking up at 5am in the mornings and the worse thing is I can't get back to sleep! Probably my body's way of getting ready for the late night feeds in the coming months.

We finally bought Pipsqueak his cot and stroller today! Will post pictures of them in next week's update. I've also finalised his wishlist, so for those who would like to know what presents to buy, just ask and I can email you the list. I've started packing my hospital bag and placing items in as and when I can. I didn't realise there were so many things to pack, so I figured no harm getting ready although I'm not due yet.

Week 30 - Visit from Aunty Winne

2007-07-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

Pipsqueak got his first visitor this week - Aunty Winne from Hong Kong! Well, she actually came to visit me, but for now, its kind of the same thing. :) Aunty Winne brought presents for Pipsqueak - check out these cute mummy and baby matching shirts! Can someone who knows german tell me what the word means??? Winne has checked with her sources and they have assured her that its nothing vulgar. Which is a good start. But it would be nice to know what it means...hehehe...

We visited Sungei Buloh on Saturday afternoon to bring Winne back to nature - and we got totally feasted on by mosquitoes! Suffice to say that we were covered in mosquito carcasses by the end of the day after smacking each other's limbs to kill them. The park ranger assured us that these are not dengue mosquitoes, as Sungei Buloh is a swamp area and the Aedes mosquito needs very clean water to breed. Cold comfort to 3 itchy people. On the bright side, we visited some of the farms in the area and came home with a freshly killed sea bass and lots of organic vegetables. We had a sumptous dinner of HK style sea bass, carrot and corn soup and fresh leafy vegies. YUM! I also learnt the trick to making good soup, HK style. Anyone who wants to know, ask me. :)

We visited the Night Safari on Sunday night and although it was raining, we didn't let it dampen our mood. In fact, it ensured that the weather was nice and cool. The down side is that the Creatures of the Night show wasn't on as its an open-air show. But we had a good time nonetheless - would recommend you visit if you haven't been there before.

I took the day off on Monday and we watched Harry Potter and went for a massage after that. The massage was really sub-par, and its a well known spa chain called Rustic Nirvana. They promote their pre and post natal massages a lot, hence I decided to try out their promotional deal, but really, its not worth it. Don't waste your time and money trying. We had planned to have XO fish slice noodle for dinner after the massage but we were so lazy, we ended up coming straight home and cooking what was in the fridge! Check out our fusion meal - Korean noodles, HK Spare Ribs, Chinese Cod fish and Green Salad!

Am feeling so so heavy these days, and I have quite a fair bit to go before full term. I read the babycenter update for week 31 and I almost jumped out of the seat - it says Pipsqueak is headed for a growth spurt. OH NO! I can't imagine growing any bigger. We have another checkup tomorrow, I suspect Pipsqueak is lying sideways and not head down, will see what the gynae says tomorrow!

Week 29 - Bursting out of Pants

2007-07-16T22:12:00.000+08:00

I think I'm really running out of space for Pipsqueak, breathing is getting difficult after a meal and especially so when sitting down. He's starting to kick me in the weirdest places, I think he's close to some nerve near my bladder and rectum, cos I've jumped out of my seat a few times from the sharp pain I get from his manoeuvres.

I was sitting down at my desk this morning and it was just before lunch. Suddenly I just couldn't breathe. I had to go to the toilet and remove my pants. And I hadn't eaten lunch yet! Thank goodness for the maternity shops nearby - I walked out during lunch and bought a brand new pair of black maternity pants and wore them straight away!

The fun part now is to see Pipsqueak's joints sticking out of my belly. I'm so stretched that I can actually stroke the limb that's sticking out of my belly as it moves around. The feeling is strange and amazing at the same time.

The Husband has been busy assembling the furniture pieces we bought from IKEA to store Pipsqueak's stuff. I predict we'll run out of storage very shortly as the drawers are already full!

Nanny Search Broadcast

2007-07-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

As most of you know, I will be returning to work part time after Pipsqueak is born. We are looking for a good reliable nanny to help take care of Pipsqueak during the day time for about 2 days a week. Preferably someone close to our home with experience for caring for infants and loves kids. If you know of a friend, relative, aunty or friend of a friend that fits the bill, please let us know! We are willing to drop Pipsqueak off at her place and will pick him up at the end of the day.

Week 28 - The 1kg Mark!

2007-07-08T23:24:00.000+08:00

Pipsqueak has hit the 1kg mark! This is apparently within the normal range for this stage. We had our routine checkup this month and all looks well. Sorry I can't post his latest ultrasound - the printout is really unclear and he's grown so big, the picture shows his face but its rather distorted...not like the earlier scans of him. Plus the machine in my Gynae's clinic is not the super duper modern one at her hospital, so its rather rudimentary (by my standards anyway). But what we could see very clearly on the screen was firstly his chubby cheeks (he's put on some flesh now) and his genitals. I don't know what this means but I guess for the Husband, he's proud that his son appears to be all man.

His head is also turned down and he's lying on one side of my belly, hence when I lie flat, you can see a bulge on one side of my tummy. Which explains all the kicking I feel on one side only as he's kind of lying sideways. We also saw his lips very clearly and my Gynae calls it "rosebud" lips.

I've been advised to keep active to help with an easy labour and I'm able to start doing squats too. I can't believe I've finally entered the last leg of pregnancy, the third trimester. I'm already feeling so heavy, I can't imagine how I can possibly put on any more weight. Apparently weight gain at this stage is exponential. I've put on 9kg in total so far, which puts me at 50kg. My Gynae estimates I will probably put on 14kg in total, which is fine. She's encouraging me to eat healthily so that Pipsqueak won't get overly big and make it a difficult labour for me.

I've also been having quite a bit of inspiration to cook - The Husband thinks I've been cooking exceptionally well since I've been pregnant. This kid is a gourmet I tell you. Here is a pic of what we had for breakfast this morning. We had some leftover potatoes which I made tuna potato patties with for dinner. I used the leftovers this morning and heated them up with a side salad of fresh cos, tomatoes, poached egg, oranges and a viniagrette dressing. YUM!

Pipsqueak is also a lot more active nowadays, or perhaps he's always been but he hasn't been as big as he is now for me to really feel the movements. Its good that I'm a heavy sleeper, so his nighttime activities doesn't affect me. But he's getting so good at moving around that he sometimes kicks my bladder and rectum and some nerve around that area that sends me a shock and I end up yelping. Good thing he's never done that in a meeting as yet!

I've also compiled a gift list for Pipsqueak as we've been getting requests from friends as to what to buy him. If you want a copy of the list, let me know.

From now on, my checkups at the Gynae will be every 3 weeks, followed by every 2 weeks and every week when I'm term. Time really flies, I can't believe I have 8 weeks to go to 36 weeks, which is technically term, although he will have another 4 weeks to full term. I've been diligently doing my stretching exercises every night and reading up on labour and delivery. The Husband is also taking note of when he has to really bring me to the hospital. We've also bought a bit of extra furniture - a chest of drawers to store Pipsqueak's clothes, a breastfeeding chair and a storage rack for the kitchen.

Week 27 - Prenatal Class

2007-07-02T22:07:00.000+08:00

This is Pipsqueak's latest gift, a Touch and Tug Discovery Book from James and Pauline. Its really quite cute, I think I enjoy playing with it more that Pipsqueak! There are 3 different animals and the book tells stories, sings songs and makes animal sounds. I've been playing the lullabies and wrapping the book round my tummy so that he can listen to the songs and recognise them when he's out. The book can even be attached to the crib!

Pipsqueak also got another gift this week from Eekwang and Benita - a cool Winnie the Pooh outfit! As well as another bag load of hand me down clothes from James and Pauline. I really don't need to buy any clothes for him!

We attended our first prenatal class this week. We missed Lesson 1 and 2, so we jumped straight into Lesson 3. I was down with food poisoning when Lesson 1 was held, and that was the class on pregnancy nutrition and exercises. Lesson 2 talked about early stage labour and Lesson 3 is on labour and delivery. We signed up with Mrs Wong Boh Boi at Thomson Medical Centre based on feedback from friends who said her classes were very good. We rushed down from work on a Wednesday night to find the entire class packed with pregnant mummies and their husbands. We sat on comfy mats on the floor and did various pregnancy exercises. It was quite interesting, and the Husband was aghast that the husbands had to do the exercises with the preggy wives. He was muttering under his breath "But I'm not pregnant, why do I need to do these exercises?" He was sweet about it and aceded anyway.

We had a section on massage and that was really nice - Mrs Wong taught different massage techniques and once again the Husband started muttering "But I already give you massages exactly like this, why do we have to pay money for someone to tell me to do something that I'm already doing". We learnt a game to play with the daddies which is a form of communication between the unborn child and the dad. It involves mummy kneeling behind daddy who is seated cross-legged. A rhyme about raindrops and winds is recited whilst rubbing daddy's back. Then a thunderstorm comes and mummy has to pat daddy's back very loudly. After that, preggie mum presses her tummy against daddy's back so that he can feel baby kick him. Well the funny thing was that no one's baby kicked at that point! Mrs Wong very matter of factly said, "Well, sometimes baby doesn't know what games mummy and daddy are trying to play!"

The key part of the lesson was breathing techniques and relaxation exercises. We learnt how to breathe deeply during labour, the correct position for optimal pushing and how to visualise our babies in "crystal clear waters" and the "opening of canals" to cope with the pain. We went through a mock labour with daddies learning how to support mummies physically and emotionally, but were warned not to start pushing as some women have really gone into premature labour during the mock sessions!

The class ended with a tour of the delivery suite. Although I wasn't going to deliver at Thomson, I wanted to see how a delivery suite looked like so we joined in. Turns out there was a mummy in labour right next door! We heard the nurses counting to 10 to encourage her to push. Mrs Wong said if we were lucky, baby would be out when we finished our tour. True enough, when we walked out, we heard the loud cries of the newborn! Everyone was overjoyed for mother and child. Mrs Wong asked for permission from the daddy to allow us to watch the newborn being weighed and he agreed. She was gorgeous - a baby girl, 3.4 kg and super alert, looking around at the 30 pairs of eyes watching her being weighed. Quite a way to end the class.

I thought the class was pretty helpful and gave us a good idea of what to expect during delivery. The Husband thought otherwise and has been having father and son conversations with Pipsqueak about the happenings outside the womb. The funny thing is that I hear absolutely everything, even when father and son talk about me - so much for confidentiality. The Husband and I can be quite the opposite on various issues, which I must admit is a good thing. I have no doubt that he will stay my pillar of strength and calm should I get hysterical with pain at any point. I'm still optimistic about having a natural labour with no epidural and as the Husband likes to say - "Its all in the mind - half the battle is won if you win the battle of the mind".

I had a super appetite day this week. This is a log of what I ate over 2 days.

Day 1:
Breakfast - cereal
Mid morning snack - 1 slice of bread
Lunch - beef hor fun with sour plum drink
Mid afternoon snack - 1 small tub yoghurt, 1 grapefruit, 1 muesli bar
Dinner - Rice with Pork Ribs (Pai gu wang), kang kong and tofu hotplate
Supper - Longans with sea coconut dessert, 1 slice cheesecake

Day 2:
Woke up at some ungodly hour (it was still dark) absolutely famished. Struggled between eating and going back to sleep, hunger overtook me. Ate 2 Marks & Sparks raspberry tartlets from the jar next to my bed (yes I keep food next to my bed cos I've woken up hungry before)
Breakfast - grandma's nyonya bak chang and iced milo
Mid morning snack - Egg mcmuffin from Mcdonalds
Lunch - Yong Tau Foo & Fruits (I deliberately bought this cos I thought my body would go on overload soon with the amount of food I was eating)
Mid afternoon snack - 1 sardine puff
Dinner - 8 course wedding banquet

I was really amazed at how hungry I was and how much I ate - and I swear it was a growth spurt for Pipsqueak cos he hardly moved the next day! Babies grown when they sleep and he was sleeping alright. I panicked again and told the Husband maybe Pipsqueak was in distress, but he comforted me and told me not to get paranoid. True enough, Pipsqueak was back to his normal active self the next day and so was my appetite. You'll be glad to know I'm eating normally now.

After this week, I will enter my third trimester - the last leg! I can't believe how quickly time flies. I'm feeling heavier by the day and sleeping at night is becoming harder and harder. My hips feel so heavy with the weight and my legs get numb after a while, so I have to switch sides and stretch my feet before the leg cramps hit. My next checkup is at 28 weeks, which is a detailed one to check baby's growth and weight.

A Tribute to The Husband

2007-06-25T11:42:00.001+08:00

Its my darling hubby's birthday today! And what better way to commemorate it than to write a tribute to him....Sorry to spoil the market guys, but what can I say, I married a wonderful hubby! My hubby is:

1) A Cleaner

Thank you for cleaning up my mess darling! Of late, the clumsiness quotient has increased as I can no longer see my feet and I somehow keep dropping things. To date, I have dropped the entire ice tray on the floor 4 times in the last month and my poor husband has had to clean up after me everytime.

In fact, before the pregnancy, he was already a super cleaner, washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, hanging the clothes. I have no doubts that he will be a hands on dad when Pipsqueak arrives - what more can a girl ask for?

2) A Good Listener

As most of you know, us girls tell stories with EVERY SINGLE DETAIL, guys just give one liners. So The Husband is always patient to listen to my stories and descriptions of events of the day! And he always patiently listens...without doing the guy thing and giving solutions or drifting off into la la land halfway.

3) Loving and Caring

In our 3.5 years of marriage, I've never been deprived of hugs, cuddles and words of affection and affirmation. He tells me he appreciates me, tucks me into bed every night and gives me a kiss before he leaves home and another when we meet at the end of the day.

4) A great partner

I always say The Husband is an old man in a young body - he has the wisdom far beyond his years and a living testimony to James 1:5 - "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him".

Despite that, he values my input and we talk about things, discuss issues and never have I felt that I had to submit to his leadership in the home grudgingly or "because God commands me to". We've worked on multiple projects together and I couldn't find a better working partner than my Husband.

5) My best friend

I wouldn't choose anyone else to travel round the world with, hang out for coffee, stay up late to chat with or just muck around and do silly things with other than my Husband. We have so much fun together and our marriage feels like a long date that has never ended.

Happy Birthday Darling! You make me thank God for his goodness daily and you are my daily reminder that God loves me more than I can fathom, because He brought you into my life. Looking forward to countless more birthdays together!

Note: Just in case you are wondering why The Husband looks like he's being swallowed by an Anaconda - that's the Snoogle, my pregnancy pillow Mum and Dad bought from the US. He decided to try it out for himself and I had to take a shot.

Week 26 - Pipsqueak's Collection

2007-06-25T11:08:00.000+08:00

For a little guy who hasn't taken his first breath nor holds any identity documents, Pipsqueak has been accumulating lots of stuff. I can see why parents tell us that when they travel, half the luggage space is for the kid and the other half are for the parents to share! Our home is being overrun by baby stuff, and most of it, we didn't buy! Decided to post some pics of stuff he's received so far. Disclaimer: For all aunties and uncles who have given stuff so far, please do not be offended if your contribution is not posted, there is just too much stuff and this post will never end! Your gift is very much appreciated! The Avent steam steriliser set is from Esther and Sam.

The Medela Pump in Style is a hand me down from Angeline and will save me heaps of money cos its not cheap!

Car seat is from the Wongs! We had to have a personal lesson in learning how to strap it down to the car and which strap goes where, etc. These baby gadgets are not that easy to figure out.

This Chicco rocker is from Adrian and Jerene - and strangely enough it matches the car seat!

Mum and Dad are visiting from the US and brought a few outfits for Pipsqueak - I've been told this is only a fraction of what they bought, they just couldn't carry all the stuff in their luggage! Check out the matching caps with the outfits.

These socks were bought by me. Yes - for those of you who can't believe at how little the Husband and I have bought, you will know why when you see the amount of stuff we already have!

We went to Church camp this week and had a wonderful time of fellowship, prayer and meeting with God. It was an awesome camp as we prepare for the next lap for our Church and we are truly blessed with godly and balanced leaders. I swam a couple of times and I have definitely grown not just in the belly department but also the rear-end department. I feel as if my bottom has exploded! AAARGH! Major exercise required after Pipsqueak arrives. The other thing we did at camp was eat! Every meal was a buffet and the last weighing of myself showed 50kg, which means I would have gained 9kg so far. And I have 3 more months to full term!

Talking about eating, one of the highlights of camp was of course the Durian Feast! We ordered a total of 180kgs of durian and it was like swarm of locusts descending on the creamy flesh. As I like to say - its a war! And it truly was! I was part of the fray and I received comments that no one has ever seen a pregnant woman walk so fast before. Hey, the little guy wanted to eat, what can I say? (Its the best excuse ever). The strategy is to camp out at the right corner, where the person opening the durian has tried at least one seed and can attest that "hey this is a good one" - then you move in and grab your share. It was quite a sight and for those who've never been to our Durian Feasts before, it can be quite scary.

Pipsqueak is definitely kicking lots more, the kicks to the bladder and rectum can be uncomfortable at times and certain elbow-knee movements are visible to the naked eye, if you happen to look at my belly at the right time.

And another interesting happenning for the week - when Pastor Escobar asked for whoever wanted to accept Christ to raise their hands, Pipsqueak did! I felt him jerk just at that moment - of course, I can't tell if it was a kick but I'm convinced he raised his hand. The Husband found it quite amusing that Pipsqueak would understand the implications of an altar call, but I say hey, let's not underestimate the little guy.

Week 25 - My Shirt is Moving!

2007-06-17T23:20:00.000+08:00

Pipsqueak has been getting lots of presents. Aunty Esther and Uncle Sam bought him a steam steriliser to sterilise all his milk bottles and my breast pump parts. Grandpa and grandma just arrived from the US and brought some clothes for him too. Very cute outfits too! Will post pictures of his gifts soon. We also visited Adrian and Jerene who gave us some hand me downs, not to mention the constant stream of hand me downs from colleagues at work like Felicia, Angeline and Jehanne. Thanks to all who have thought of us! Much appreciated.

I saw my shirt move on its own for the first time yesterday and it was weird...I think Pipsqueak was moving around and one of his limbs hit my tummy wall and I saw my shirt move. I stopped my typing at the computer, lifted my shirt to expose my belly and saw a bump move right across. Its strange! I know it will get much more obvious as he grows bigger.

We caught up with some friends over dinner last night and had a great time. Our friend Joy is due in 6 weeks and her belly is the same size as mine! I have 15 more weeks to go! *gulp* I hear the last trimester is EXPONENTIAL in growth, so I'm a bit apprehensive at how much bigger I can possibly grow! It was fun exchanging pregnancy stories and getting pregnancy tips from Joanna, the new Mum! Remin was sharing about his view on breastfeeding, as all the books keep telling you to persevere and to not give up no matter how hard it is. His conclusion is that it must be really difficult if they keep telling you that! Judging from Joanna's horror stories of 4 bouts of mastisis over 2 months, its not as easy as we think! God help me!

It also seems like us first time parents have the same problem - long long checklists and no idea where to start! You spend lots of time in the shop with the list and come out with 3-4 items, but totally exhausted! Neither has any idea what brand or what specific item to buy and whether its really needed.

I did learn from Jerene some useful tips however. One was to rent toys instead of buying them. One such site is http://rent-a-toy.com/shop/index.php - the idea is that kids outgrow their toys and grow tired of them in 2-3 months, so instead of paying full price and buying the toy then having no space to store all the toys they tire of, just rent them! Its delivered to your home and pre-sterilised before each new child uses them.

Talking about shopping online, that's a trend I've spotted with lots of new Mums. They love to shop online! I'm starting to have a clearer idea of how my mobility and ability to shop will be impeded in the coming months and I'll be doing the same!

Seems like my constipation has come back again and the backaches are a daily occurence, but I'm getting used to it and trying to take it all in good spirits. At least I can eat and I feel relatively well. The gynae has advised me to go for 30 minute walks daily, which is hard to maintain! But we will be off to Church camp this week and its in a nice resort in JB, so I hope to do lots of swimming in the pool!

Week 24 - I can't sleep!

2007-06-10T23:13:00.000+08:00

We had our 24 week checkup this week, but the ultrasound scan wasn't very clear and I don't think its worth publishing. So I've attached a picture from Babycenter instead - they send me weekly updates on my progress and its really useful. The diagram is a representation of what Pipsqueak looks like now.

The major happening this week is that I got food poisoning. Could not pinpoint what caused it, as everyone else at the same food as me and was fine, but I had 2 days off work to rest. The diarrhoea stopped by the second day but it did take its toll on my body and the GP was right, pregnant women take longer to recover. My legs and arms were aching for 2 days after, and I was easily fatigued. Thank God I'm back to normal now and Pipsqueak is still active, so I don't he had any major issues with the diarrhoea. Was maybe just very noisy for him in the womb with the additional "activity".

Sleeping has become difficult, and for a sleepaholic like me, I never thought I'd say that! Neither side is comfortable, I'm not allowed to sleep on my back as it presses on a major blood vessel that cuts of circulation to the foetus, so I spend the whole night tossing and turning (and not to mention visiting the toilet).

I've been reading this book by Gina Ford called "The New Contented Baby Book". She's a nurse who cares for babies and advocates teaching babies to get into a routine. Instead of demand feeding, she purports that babies need to be guided to learn the difference between day and night, so that they can feed more in the day and sleep more in the night. Parents who get the formula right end up with a happy baby and well rested mummies. Its quite appealing, and we've decided to try out her routine as it does make sense - she says that there are too many tired mummies out there who struggle all day with the baby, only to be awoken the whole night. They end up breaking down, giving up on breastfeeding because they are too tired and putting a strain on the marriage.

We've started our baby shopping, its sale season here so we hope to make some savings, especially before the GST hike. The house is piling up with baby stuff and we've got to find some storage! We've been getting hand me downs and friends and family asking what gifts to buy. For the record - we're not buying any clothes or toys as we've been advised that people give lots - so rattles, clothing, cot mobiles, stroller toys are generally safe to buy. If in doubt - just ask! We'd be glad to give you some ideas!

Week 23 - Hunger Pangs

2007-06-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

I've been too afraid to weigh myself lately - I suspect I've put on about 4-5kg in this month alone. That explains why I feel so heavy! And I haven't hit my third trimester yet! Walking up the stairs is a strain, so is bending down and getting up from the floor or other squatting positions. My advice for all those planning to have kids - hit the gym first and build up those leg muscles! You're gonna need them!

The Pipsqueak is kicking a lot more these days and i guess he's getting bigger, so the kicks are more prominent. I saw my belly jump the other day and it was WEIRD! Its like, there's a living thing in my belly and it has a mind of its own! Quite an amazing feeling.

I've also started to feel really hungry when I wake up to go to the loo in the middle of the night. Its such a struggle - to stay up longer and eat something or to go right back to sleep cos I'm so tired! I've resorted to keeping food by my bedside, just in case. But I still can't eat as much as I used to in one meal...indigestion has become a way of life!

We start prenatal classes this week, which will be interesting. I've also started consolidating our list of things to buy - and its a scary list. I don't even know if I need half the stuff on the list, but I'm too "kiasu" to wait and see, so I've been bugging the Husband to start baby shopping with me. For those of you who are not living in Singapore - now is the period of the Great Singapore Sale, where just about every shop slashes their prices. So I figure, its a good time to buy! Plus the Goods and Services Tax ("GST") will be increased by another 2% in July - so we have every incentive to get everything now.

I've also come to the conclusion that there is no point saving money on maternity clothes. I was speaking to Y, another pregnant buddy of mine who's expecting her second child and we agree that we need to look and feel good at this period of time, when you just feel to tired and heavy and bloated. And I hate not having anything to decent to wear on a daily basis, so I hit the shops again this weekend. This green tee and white shorts I'm wearing were this week's purchases. :) The Husband has been good, he didn't react too violently when I shared with him my new pregnancy clothing conclusion. My favourite line of late is "I'm not going to be a frumpy pregnant woman"!

Week 22 - Chiang Mai Babymoon

2007-05-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

We just returned from a restful 3 days in Chiangmai for our babymoon! The picture posted here is of the first dish we learnt at Kao Hom Cooking school - Chicken wrapped in Pandanus leaf. Yes - we made this all on our own, with very good instructions from our teacher, Tim. She is such an animated lady, we had great fun learning to cook Thai dishes from her. We had 2 other classmates, Om and Raymond. They were learning how to cook so that they could open a Thai restaurant in Mexico - we figured, we probably picked the right school if chefs were coming here to learn! The only downside to the school (and I don't think its a downside really), we ate so much, the Husband was actually full all the way till 8pm! We cooked one dish, sat down in the garden and ate it, before going back to cook more. We cooked 6 dishes from 10.30am to 2.30pm - can you blame us for being full?

Our hotel was wonderful and luxurious - the bathroom was so large, it was a separate room on its own with a daybed. Which is great for preggers like me, I'm having trouble reaching my legs and its nice to be able to sit and moisturise them. There's even a built in stool in the shower, which is perfect for me to sit down and soap the hard to reach areas - yes, you guessed it, my legs and ankles!

We napped a lot, I swam a bit, Paul used the gym and we managed to fit in shopping in the night markets. The Sunday market was way more exciting that the Saturday Night bazaar. The Sunday market is for locals, and the shops stretch for streets and streets, with lots of interesting items for sale. I insisted on buying a tribal baby hat for Pipsqueak after seeing a baby wear one on the streets. The entire outfit was too large though, the smallest size was size 1. I almost bought slippers but held back cos I figured they were not going to be all that safe to walk in. The Husband has already started apologising to Pipsqueak for allowing me to buy the hat. I say he won't remember wearing it but the Husband says pictures will remind him! I think they're quite cute really...I'll post a picture of him wearing it when he's old enough and you can be the judge.

We also had 2 rounds of massages - its not hard to find masseurs in Thailand who are well trained, most knew what to do when informed that I was pregnant. Just stay away from the feet and the tummy. It really helped ease lots of aches and pains for me and we went back for more on Sunday.

And Pipsqueak likes holidays, he's definitely more active than on a regular working day. I don't blame him.

Back to work tomorrow and more exciting things coming up next week. We start prenatal classes next week and Week 24 scan is next week too! Will keep everyone updated.

Week 21 - Limited lungspace

2007-05-20T22:45:00.000+08:00

Breathing is getting difficult, especially after meals in the evenings. Somehow, there just isn't enough lungspace and my skin feels so stretched and taut over my belly. I've been using the stretch mark creams religiously but I've already discovered some close to buttock/thigh area. *sigh* I haven't weighed myself yet since my last checkup 2 weeks ago, but I do feel heavier and I'm certain I've put on weight - walking up the stairs is quite tiring! Feels like I'm lugging a rice sack!

We are going off on our babymoon next weekend to Chiang Mai. Lots to do there, including elephant trekking and white water rafting, which unfortunately, I won't be able to enjoy! So we're going to sign up for a cooking class instead. Yup, they'll pick us up from the hotel, bring us to the local markets, and teach us to cook local thai food. YUM! I just hope I'll be able to eat! I've been getting really bloated in the evenings, probably due to the hormones slowing down my digestion...but it means I can't eat much by dinner and I keep burping all the time.

Pipsqueak has been going through cycles of activity and non-activity. I got worried at first cos he was active for a whole week but stopped considerably for a few days. I've discovered however that he hasn't got a fixed pattern yet. He's active for 2-3 days in a row and then kicks a lot less for another 2-3 days. The kicks are harder and clearer in the evenings, after dinner and when I'm about to sleep. And he kicks a lot more when I'm hungry - I think he's got the greedy genes, protesting violently when its time to eat. Good luck to us when he's out! I can imagine him screaming a the top of his voice for his milk.

Its the most wonderful thing so far though, being able to feel another life growing inside you, having Pipsqueak close to me and its like our little secret, only I can feel him kick and knows when he's active or quiet...our prayer is that God will make him a healthy and fuss-free baby! We're determined to not have our entire lives revolve around him, but as advised by Aunty G, "run with your baby, he should enhance your ministry and not hinder". Amen to that!

Baby Gaga - Week 20 Cartoon

2007-05-15T22:50:00.001+08:00

Week 20 - Interpreting Medical Jargon

2007-05-12T10:31:00.000+08:00

This is the week of Pipsqueak's detailed scan. Unfortunately, all the detailed shots of Pipsqueak's arms, legs, organs, (genitals included) can't be scanned cos its on the radiological film, so the only one we have to show is the normal ultrasound. The Husband doesn't like this picture, he thinks its not very flattering on the kid, and I agree, but we wanted to show everyone something so we've got no choice, short of pulling of a picture of some other foetus to put on my blog. This is a front view shot of him, the dark spots are what they call orbits, or the place in the skull where his eyes are.

The 20 week scan was quite an experience, to say the least. I arrived at 2.15 for my 2.30 scan and as warned, I had to wait. My gynae's nurse told me to call her if I wait for half an hour so that she can put pressure on the radiology department manager to speed things up, as I have an appointment. Not long after my call, I was ushered into a tiny, dark room, with a bed, curtain and the ultrasound machine - hardly enough space for anyone else but the mummy-to-be and the radiologist. After making myself comfortable on the bed, I was ushered into another room - this room was a fair bit bigger, with a more high-tech machine. Apparently after the call from my gynae's nurse, they re-read the scan request and noted that certain doctors were requested for, and these doctors prefer to use the more high-tech machine. Mental note - following the nurse's instructions can save lots of time and hassle, they know the ins and outs of the hospital system.

The radiologist was a young Filipino lady who was nice and friendly. The lights were dimmed and I was very comfortable on the bed, except for the lubricant that was squirted all over my belly which was kinda cold. I don't think Pipsqueak liked it though, he kicked a lot. I found out later that the ultrasound emits sound waves that the baby can hear, which sounds like a irritating buzzing noise. Explains why he kept moving around and kicking the scanner.

After 30 minutes, she was done with her measurements and showed me some key organs and limbs on the screen. He has grown a fair bit since the last scan and she confirmed that Pipsqueak's a boy. (The Husband is very proud of the fact that his key organs can be clearly identified at such a tender age) She told me to wait a while more and she returned with the specialist. I was told to lie down again for a quick scan. The conversation between them sounded like this:

Filipino Radiologist: I can't find the 4C

Specialist: 4C ah?

Filipino Radiologist: Yeah

SILENCE.

Specialist: Any previa?

Filipino Radiologist: No, no previa.

SILENCE.

Specialist: Got extra huh?

Filipino Radiologist: Yeah extra.

SILENCE

I was then told I was done and I could come back and collect the reports in 30 minutes. As you can guess, a 1001 thoughts were running through my mind. 4C? Sounds like 4 chambers of the heart to me. Does the baby have a problem with his heart? Previa I knew meant Placenta previa, where the placenta is too low which can cause problems. Extra? Now that can mean anything - extra fingers, toes, eyes, nose, ears??? I smsed the Husband frantically and told him that maybe there was something wrong with the baby's heart. He was cool as usual and said let's see what the doctor says.

After collecting the scan, we met at the lobby and proceeded up to see my gynae. The usual urine test showed up a bit of sugar in the urine, which apparently was due to the fresh orange juice I drank while waiting for the scan results. I also put on 3kg in the last one month. That's a lot by my standards! No wonder I feel heavy!

We were finally ushered in to see the gynae, apparently there was an emergency C section she had to perform this morning, which explains why all her appointments were backed up again. We went through the scan results and my fears were unfounded - the 4 chambers of the heart are all there, so are the limbs, eyes, nose, mouth, etc. According to her, Pipsqueak's size is a few days smaller than the benchmarks, which is good cos I'm small framed, so if my baby gets too big, natural delivery can be a problem. He's got long legs and fingers, and a pretty sharp nose. We'll see how accurate her assessments are when he appears in September.

He's about 303 grams and very active. She did another quick scan for the benefit of the Husband, so that he can have a quick look at the Pipsqueak. That ended an interesting 20 week checkup - thank God for protecting and moulding Pipsqueak each step of the way!

And the moral of the story for those who are radiologists, doctors or medical professionals - you should invent some sort of code that patients can't understand in the examination room! Otherwise, their minds are racing a mile a minute trying to second guess what you're talking about! Or perhaps, it could just be me. :)

Week 19 - Gobbling Grapefruits

2007-05-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

I've been eating grapefruits - its been in season, thankfully! The tangy taste clears my mouth of the constant aftertaste that lingers after each drink or meal. They are juicy and oh so refreshing. Everyday around 3pm, I start peeling my grapefruit at my desk and my colleagues know - "its grapefruit time!". Other fruits on my good fruit list are green apples and oranges.

Friday 4th May was a special day - The Husband felt pipsqueak kick for the first time! The previous movements I have felt are rather non-descript, vague, weird fluttering movements, which half the time, I'm not sure if its Pipsqueak or gas. But on Friday, he started kicking me for real. It was unmistakeable - we were at prayer meeting in Church and we started singing some choruses. That's when he started kicking quite furiously. We came home and lounged on the sofa and he started kicking again. So I grabbed the Husband's hand and he felt a couple of the kicks.

Saturday 5th May - I was cooking dinner for a friend who was coming over and I played Barry Manilow and there he was again. Even at night, he kept kicking whilst I was trying to sleep and I had to switch sides. Strangely, lying on the right side is not as comfortable as lying on the left. I wonder if there is some sort of organ there. But my arm gets so numb lying on one side all the time! I don't know how I will last till full term as I'm starting to feel more breathless with each full meal and my legs actually feel some strain walking up the stairs. I don't think I've even put on that much weight!

Sunday 6th May - I figured, this baby is nocturnal, so if he starts kicking again during the singing at Church, he must like music. And true enough, he responded to the singing at worship service. He was wide awake through lunch too. When we tried playing some hip hop on the radio before dinner - there was no response. Conclusion - this child is like his dad, an ah pek (old man) in a young body. So far, hymns, choruses and Barry Manilow are on his hit list - I'll update everyone if we discover any other singers that he likes.

According to the books and websites, he can hear now and will start recognising voices, which probably explains why he responds to the music.

Another thing I've become paranoid about is lying on my back. Everything I read says its bad to lie on your back as it presses on a large vein that may cut off oxygen supply to the baby. But when I sleep, I sometimes wake up on my back and I can't help the different positions my body goes into when I sleep!

We will be going for our 20 week scan next Friday, so we hope to post some pictures of the Pipsqueak soon!

Week 18 - Train Seats and Stroller Seats

2007-05-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

I've been getting seats on trains and I'm grateful, but I have to gripe about this - not a single guy has given up their seat to me! The profile of a typical seat-giver is a lady, who is middle aged. I've been asking my guy friends why this is the case and the most typical answer is that guys can't tell I'm pregnant. They fear that if they give up their seat to a lady who is not pregnant, they could really offend her. Fair enough - but if you are a young able bodied male, shouldn't you even be ashamed to have a seat when there are plenty of ladies standing? Call me old fashioned, but its nice to have some chivalry now and then. Its not unusual to have guys rush into the train, snatch your seat, or rush into a crowded lift first. One guy tried to cut in front of me a few weeks ago to get into a very crowded train first and I gave him one of my dagger looks. It worked and he backed off, but I really wish guys didn't need to be told to be polite and let ladies go first.

The other thing the Husband and I have been doing is learning about baby gadgets. This is a real money making industry! Our first project is strollers and there are sooo many different brands with different features. Its like taking Strollers101 at University. The next course is Cots101.

We've signed up for antenatal classes at TMC, which will start in early June. They run for 6 weeks and came highly recommended by friends.

I've also started to have trouble breathing. For those of you who know me, I normally eat like a horse. Probably the correct amount for a pregnant woman, so my food intake hasn't really increased compared to my usual. But by dinner, I normally feel so full, I can't breathe. Especially so if I'm having my favourite food. So the latest task for the Husband is to stop me before I get that full. Which is no easy feat, considering my stomach space has decreased but my speed of consumption has increased.

Week 17 - Pipsqueak's First Holiday

2007-04-23T22:55:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a great weekend in Batam with the folks from ACTS - for those who don't know, its our young adults group from Church. It was Pipsqueak's first holiday and he had an exciting time! Firstly I joined in a line dance as part of the resort's welcome routine for guests. Nothing strenous, just one step involved a little jump which I tried to kept to a minimum. Also had a nice massage at the spa, which involved me lying on my tummy for a while. He didn't like it, kept kicking me cos he didn't have enough space. Then a few of us went out to the bay in a speedboat. The husband was the driver of the boat and he was very careful to make sure we didn't travel too fast. The scenery was beautiful, especially when we drove around some marshes and swamps. We got caught in a rain cloud on the way back and the raindrops were painfully big! Plus cutting through the rain in a speedboat does make the impact all the much greater. Was quite an experience.

I got 2 offers for a seat on the train last week and 1 so far this week. Not bad considering its Monday. Not surprisingly, the ones offering the seats are ladies. I can't pinpoint why, but I've concluded that Singaporean guys are really not much good at being chivalrous. Most of the ladies that have offered me seats so far are middle aged too, so I figure that maybe they've been pregnant before. My first seat offer came last Tuesday and I was so taken aback, I refused the seat. (I have a short 10min train ride to work each day). I've decided today though that it takes a fair bit of courage to offer your seat to someone - I know it sounds silly, but in Singapore, anything you do to attract attention to yourself on a crowded train is embarassing. So I've decided to take up any seat offer I'm given, just to reward the person offering it. I got a seat today 2 stops away from home, but I graciously accepted it and thanked the lady twice - once when I sat and another time when I stood back up again to get off. I told her she could kindly have her seat back cos I've arrived at my destination.

As for cravings - they have been easily satisfied so far. Sour and very very cold stuff. So I suck on ice cubes at home and snack on grapefruit and other sour fruit I can get my hands on. Got a nice soursop and a bag of passionfruit from Batam over the weekend. There is still that yucky aftertaste in my mouth all the time, so the tartness from sour fruits helps to clear the mouth.

Week 16 - It's a Boy!

2007-04-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

We had our 16 week scan today and it looks like Pipsqueak is a boy! There was a tiny organ between the legs. Doc said it could be umbilical cord, but it didn't move much when Pipsqueak moved around, so its likely to be THE ORGAN. Which means we are in a fix, cos we ain't got any boy names yet!

Pipsqueak's head is to the right of my abdomen, the body and legs are to the left. Which explains the weird sensations I've been feeling to my left. He was active, hands waving at us as usual, even caught a glimpse of him sucking his thumb briefly. He turned his head to face the screen once during the session! His body length is now 10cm from head to bum and total body length including legs is about 16cm.

Every morning, I go through the "what am I going to wear" routine. I'm too small for maternity clothes and too big for some of my regular clothes. Good thing I have a few pieces that were too loose for me!

I've gained 2kg - which the doctor says is really going to me and not the baby. UGH! I still think that I can eat as much as before, which is not true. My digestion has slowed so much that I can only take small meals. I over-ate last night. We went to Pow Sing for dinner and I was hungry so I ate really quickly. Then we went to Haato for dessert and I had a double scoop of milk tea ice cream and wildberry. I really shouldn't have, I regretted it at night cos I really couldn't digest my food as well. I ended up sucking ice the whole night to quench my thirst cos I just couldn't drink much water!

Week 15 - Neither here nor there

2007-04-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

Week 15 has been good. On some days, it feels like the morning sickness is slowly creeping back. Somehow, the digestion isn't 100% and the strangest thing is that I haven't had any cravings since getting pregnant! I mean, I get cravings NORMALLY when I'm not pregnant, now that I'm pregnant, I can't figure out what to eat. Its strange. I'm getting used to the constipation too. I've realised that whilst prune juice helps in the constipation, it makes me feel really nauseous and bloated the whole day, so I've got to find other ways to cope.

My clothes are getting tight - thankfully I lost some weight last year so I have quite a few pieces that are normally too loose for me, which fit just right now. I tried on a maternity skirt in the S size and its way too huge. So I ended up buying normal clothes in size M. I walked into the shop and told the salesgirl I was pregnant and asked for all items with an elastic waist and tops that are empire line. I thought to myself how lucky I am to be pregnant at this particular point in time, the trend seems to be empire line tops and I managed to get a dress and a top that cost a fraction of the price of real maternity clothes, which will probably last me a few more months. I've had many envious mums in Church who keep commenting at how my tummy isn't really showing yet. The down side is that no one gives me their seat on the train!

I've started to feel what seems like the pipsqueak moving and kicking, but I can't be sure. Could just be my active intestinal tract or gas. We have our Week 16 scan this week, looking forward to seeing how pipsqueak has grown!

The other weird symptoms are my sensitive nose - I still can't stand the smell of perfume. The husband thinks I can get a job in the drug squad - as a sniffer dog that is. I am not as averse to food smells anymore but anything that smells chemical or fragrance that is articifial drives me mad. Which makes it hard sometimes when you have a client or colleague that reeks of perfume. And I'm starting to walk with my feet slightly angled - I think its the start of a waddle. Very scary.

I've been reading up lots and am very keen on a natural labour. Call me crazy but I'm even going to try without an epidural. Mum had me in 3 hours with no epidural and I'm hoping really hard that the labour process is somehow inherited, but we'll see. The latest fiasco this week was my vacillation between sticking with my current obstetrician or looking for a new one. Heard a horror story from the forum that my obstetrician may not be very pro-natural labour. She suggested to a patient that she induce her labour at Week 36 and according to this patient, for not good reason. Inducement and most intervention usually increases the chances of an emergency C-section. But I met 2 other patients who delivered naturally with my obstetrician, and one even said she was very encouraging towards a natural labour. The husband in his usual calm self told me to pray and do more research. I think we've decided to stick with our obstetrician. Honestly, we're comfortable with her and we have no reason to complain. I have a tendency to read up too much and with too much information, the husband says it tends to paralyse me. I've decided that whatever happens, its in the Lord's hands. If I pray for a smooth, fast and easy labour, it really wouldn't make much of a difference which obstetrician I choose.

Baby Gaga - Week 14 Cartoon

2007-04-01T22:52:00.001+08:00

Week 14 - Snake in the Belly

2007-03-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

Yes Yes! I hit Week 14 today. On some days I don't feel pregnant, cos I can still fit into my normal clothes. But my lunchtime, I definitely feel pregnant. I have been unhooking my skirts and by evening, I look kinda fat...not pregnant enough for people to give up their seats for me, but I do look like I've been eating too much!

The other big struggle is CONSTIPATION! Going to the toilet is like a battle everyday and for someone who is usually super regular (on average, 2 toilet trips a day...and I mean the big toilet trips, not the small ones) its quite a change. So I tried prunes...doesn't help. I tried extra fruits and vegies...doesn't help. Papaya - nope. Then I discovered prune juice. A friend of mine suggested I try it...and oh my does it work. It works so well, I've had to stop taking it cos its giving me the runs! I still haven't quite found the right dosage yet, but after last night's explosion, I'm too scared to drink any today.

They say that you won't start feeling the baby kick till Week 18 to 20....so I was happily watching TV this evening after dinner and stretched out on the couch...and I felt a sharp poke on my right abdomen and something like a little snake run across my belly. I jumped up and told the Husband "I felt something move!"...its strange, I can't tell if its gas, or my intestines, but I definitely felt something. I tried to move into the same position again, all stretched out but that was it...could not recreate the moment again. Its quite amazing...I'd like to think it was Pipsqueak, but you never know. Guess I'll have to wait till Week 20.

Week 13 - Its a stretch...

2007-03-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

Yes Yes! I 've finally gotten round to setting up my own pregnancy journal. After extensive searching of blog providers, I've come full circle and ended up back with Blogger...I heard that there are new security features available, so I'm going to give it a try. Been wanting to set up a journal so that I can keep everyone updated on my adventures.

I've hit Week 13 today and am doing well. The picture was taken at my last scan, which was at Week 11.5. The little pipsqueak would have grown a bit by now. My skirts are getting tighter and I've been in denial about it for some time now, thinking that its gas...but it doesn't seem to go away, even in the mornings. So maybe its not gas.

The Symptoms

Am glad that the nausea is almost 100% gone now...and so has the constant churning. The smell aversions have lessened considerably. Strong perfume and cooking smells still puts me off, but not as badly as before.

I've also got more energy than during my first trimester, which helps a whole lot. But i can't seem to sleep very well anymore! Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a really heavy sleeper - but since getting pregnant, I either get up to pee all the time (pipsqueak pressing on the bladder) or I keep waking up and not being able to fall asleep again! My colleague tells me its the body's way of getting you ready for sleepless nights...oh no...somehow I think my 8 hour sleeps at a stretch nights are gone forever. *sob*

The Diet

Its hard eating food with the right amount of nutrients! I looked at a sample pregnancy menu the other day and was shocked - I didn't even eat that much when I was NOT pregnant and had my appetite! How am I going to manage all this food? I'm torn between taking the pregnancy milk formulas out there in the market and diligently watching my food and taking my vitamins. My doctor is very pro-getting-your-nutrients-from-food and i really do agree. But its almost IMPOSSIBLE to chock up 1000mg of calcium a day - that's like cheese, milk, tofu at every meal! The Husband detected Trans Fat in the milk formulas, which explains our hesitation to buy them...but if the benefits outweigh the negatives...hmmm...I don't know.

My next scan is in 2 weeks time. I love seeing the scans - actually the printouts don't do justice to the image you see on screen. At our last scan, pipsqueak was bouncing around and waving at us...we could see the nose, and all the fingers and toes...its really quite amazing. The wonders of God's creation!